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Old 02-16-2012, 12:08 PM
 
143 posts, read 54,311 times
Reputation: 262

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The fact that he only tipped $1 would have been a dealbreaker for me. Seriously. Everyone who doesn't live under a rock knows that waitstaff make their living off of tips. I couldn't respect someone who did that.
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Old 02-16-2012, 12:08 PM
 
455 posts, read 297,355 times
Reputation: 714
Quote:
Originally Posted by LibertyandJusticeforAll View Post
Maybe after divorce he learned what is yours is yours and what is mine is mine. I pay for my stuff you pay for your stuff don't expect me to take care of you and having to do it every time we go out. Your paying your FAIR SHARE you eat the dinner and in doing so you said the waitress 2 different totals...showed you are not interested in his WALLET. Women are so crazy when it comes to money that they think their owed something when you both AGREED to have dinner. You could have just stayed home if you were looking for "free meal"
This thread is crazy!

Maybe I'm wrong on this since I've been out of the dating scene for a LONG time and was barely in it to begin with since I was still in HS. Anyway, I would never go out with a guy to get a "free meal." It wouldn't be worth all the awkwardness that goes along with a potentially bad date. I'm not the best at "small talk." I love to talk to people I know well but am a bit reserved with new people. Dealing with that whole scene is not worth a $20-50 meal. Like others have said, I'd rather meet for coffee and dessert, a game of pool with drinks or something. Do women really go out with guys to get a "free meal?"
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Old 02-16-2012, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,578 posts, read 4,952,859 times
Reputation: 8979
Quote:
Originally Posted by oalquimista View Post
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.

Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip.
This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.

Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
He might be a total finacial cripple - but he might be the catch of a life time...if so - you might have to pay the price and retrain this guy to make money....or he might be rich and cheap - and money will always be more important to him than YOU..which is also a loser...If you are a woman of means - don't worry about it - if you are poor and he is about to ride on your back as if you were a beast of burden - shake him off.. Give it time and you will find out...."sugar mamma" hugh? SO how much yah got? LOL>
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Old 02-16-2012, 12:26 PM
 
658 posts, read 657,279 times
Reputation: 719
Personally, I would not continue to date someone who doesn't offer to pay on a first date. You deserve to be pampered.
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Old 02-16-2012, 12:29 PM
 
658 posts, read 657,279 times
Reputation: 719
With that said, I've never had a bad date that involves sharing a meal, I've also never been on a date when the date does not offer to pay. So I might be completely biased.
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Old 02-16-2012, 12:34 PM
 
4,231 posts, read 2,761,812 times
Reputation: 5127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetlilac View Post
You deserve to be pampered.
Gag me! Entitled much?? (Your meeting for someone for the first time and its his job to pamper you) I'm assuming he doesn't deserve to be pampered? Or wait..I'm sure just being graced with your (her) presence is enough pampering in itself
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Old 02-16-2012, 12:58 PM
 
Location: MN- Soon the South!
42 posts, read 39,700 times
Reputation: 53
Let me just clarify, since I've been getting lovely private messages. I do not need a free meal. Car is paid for, house is paid for, 1/2 my money is donated to charity. I've been fortunate, and I'm definitely far from high maintenance. Heck, I'm going back to college for a second degree in either teaching or nursing, money is not my motivation. This is about dating practices and getting other peoples opinions. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. I don't need one. Oh, and if I wanted a free meal, I would have suggested Ruth's Chris

Last edited by oalquimista; 02-16-2012 at 01:43 PM..
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:07 PM
 
4,231 posts, read 2,761,812 times
Reputation: 5127
Just like the outdated ideal that women should first and foremost be mothers and wives and should have dinner on the table by the time her husband got home from work...men HAVING to pay for the first date is also outdated.

If I want to be treated as an equal (newer gender role) and am no longer expected to adhere to the above I am sure as hell not going to hold a man accountable for something equally as outdated.

And I am sure the same women who expect this first date scenario, would also be up in arms if the man said to her "the women's place is in the home".
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:10 PM
 
5,539 posts, read 5,106,559 times
Reputation: 4632
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Just like the outdated ideal that women should first and foremost be mothers and wives and should have dinner on the table by the time her husband got home from work...men HAVING to pay for the first date is also outdated.

If I want to be treated as an equal (newer gender role) and am no longer expected to adhere to the above I am sure as hell not going to hold a man accountable for something equally as outdated.

And I am sure the same women who expect this first date scenario, would also be up in arms if the man said to her "the women's place is in the home".
Are you a woman?

No, seriously, are you??
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:15 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,029 posts, read 12,415,019 times
Reputation: 13430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetlilac View Post
Personally, I would not continue to date someone who doesn't offer to pay on a first date.

You deserve to be pampered.

Deserving pampering on the first date sounds like you want to be impressed and rather high maintenance.
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