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Wow, I had to go back to the OP's first post to remember what the problems were!
"No kids, no cops, no ex-wives". "He talked incessantly". "He left $1". What happens after 5 strikes?
Out of curiosity, what in the world did this man say that made you decide your first 3 "rules" could be kicked to the curb? Charming? Well, he blew that when he talked the entire damn meal (no doubt his conversation was sprinkled liberally with the words "I" and "me"...oh, and "mine").
You said in your first post that he mentioned several times how much money he made - was this a deciding factor for you to go out with him? How much did it weigh into your decision? Honey, I've been in law enforcement....I don't care if he's fed or a constable, he ain't makin' big money unless his federal job is as a judge. Child support and other arguments regarding employers and employee rights notwithstanding, he's cheap. Pure and simple. Yes, it only gets worse from here and you are expected to follow along, otherwise you are wasteful. Frugal means he left 15% and not 20% - cheap means he left $1. I'm assuming your meal and his cost roughly the same....so he left a 5% tip. Pathetic. I know about this one - I've left more tips under sugar bowls than I can count. You'll be saving face forever or eating fast food where tipping isn't the norm if you decide to pursue more great dinnertime extravaganzas with this one. Chances are, with kids who will eventually accompany you on your dates you'll be eating fast food anyway. Yum.
You should have left him on the bench after the first 3 swings and misses.
Last edited by Sam I Am; 02-13-2012 at 03:03 AM..
Reason: Mathematical inaccuracy :-)
I think a gentleman at least offers to pay for a first date. The tipping of $1 is completely unacceptable. I would not associate with someone on any level who treated people like that (exeptionally bad service not withstanding).
People who don't tip (or massively undertip) 'on principle' should try walking a mile in the server's shoes and see how they like it. Total deal breaker.
I don't have to walk a mile in anybody's shoes to have principles.
I don't have to walk a mile in anybody's shoes to have principles.
Unfortunately, your server can't eat your principles.
Somehow I just don't think you've ever waited tables. It is grueling, thankless work and your take-home pay depends on how quickly and efficiently you can manage everything. I'm guessing you're on salary somewhere, or hourly - so you can't possibly understand.
Mod, sorry - did not mean to hijack - but people who want me to support myself or my family on their principles makes me want to smack my head. There, I feel better.
Unfortunately, your server can't eat your principles.
Somehow I just don't think you've ever waited tables. It is grueling, thankless work and your take-home pay depends on how quickly and efficiently you can manage everything. I'm guessing you're on salary somewhere, or hourly - so you can't possibly understand.
Mod, sorry - did not mean to hijack - but people who want me to support myself or my family on their principles makes me want to smack my head. There, I feel better.
So sorry to hear that. If it's me I do not associate with them off the job.
It's the same coworkers that forget to include their taxes in their share of the lunch bill when the table gets one check. I thought that every one had them. Sometimes it is necessary to have lunch with the group, for example a meeting off site or someone's birthday.
However, my question was in terms of future dates, and if women have found men to be more cheap when first dating or they get worse as time goes on? Money is not an issue for me, it's just the point of courtesy, and I guess I was raised a different way.
I dated someone cheap and he didn't get better or worse during the relationship. He was consistent from the beginning. He was cheap in planning dates that didn't cost money and hanging out at my house eating all my food for free - he never stiffed any waitresses while he was with me.
What I found over time was that he had other areas where he couldn't share, in addition to the money. He hoarded a lot of objects in his house that he couldn't part with and the clutter made his house dirty and full of allergens. He was also unable to share his emotions, he held on as tightly to them as he did his money. We are still friends and he is a decent guy but he never learned to share or to let go of something once he paid for it. I hope someday he will find someone that can live with him.
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should try walking a mile in the server's shoes and see how they like it. Total deal breaker.
There, I feel better.
