Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yesterday, I got definitively friend-zoned by someone who I’d been hanging out with for months.
Ummm yeah, thats how it works my friend. You put yourself in the friend zone, and now you want out. If you are interested in a girl, dont leave any doubts about it from the minute you meet her. Youre like the poor guys who go to a club, and stare at a hottioe for 3 and a half hours trying to workout a courage to talk to her. Women want guys who know what they want, so if you want it - you let them know right away. If you see a girl in the club you find attractive, you walk right up to her before she even notices you, and introduce yourself.
Women believe in faith, zodiac siugns and other nonsense so subconsciously this plays a significant role. You also have to be clear early on and consistently that you are attracted to her sexually and you need to let heer know that (despite what most women in denial will tell you). If you hang around the girl for months, without agressively persuing her, you will find yourself in the firend zone each and every time. Dont want you to sit around listening to this girl complain about aholes, whom she gives it up to on first or second date and how horrible they are. Good Luck!
Women believe in faith, zodiac siugns and other nonsense so subconsciously this plays a significant role. You also have to be clear early on and consistently that you are attracted to her sexually and you need to let heer know that (despite what most women in denial will tell you). If you hang around the girl for months, without agressively persuing her, you will find yourself in the firend zone each and every time. Dont want you to sit around listening to this girl complain about aholes, whom she gives it up to on first or second date and how horrible they are. Good Luck!
Yesterday, I got definitively friend-zoned by someone who I’d been hanging out with for months. We seem to have some chemistry together; we have similar hobbies and goals. Yet, she gave me a lame excuse for not wanting to date me: she doesn’t want to experience the drama of a relationship—supposedly, her previous boyfriends had left her jaded (yes, I realize the irony). It really hurts to have experienced so much affection for someone only to have the door shut so decisively. I really think I’ve done everything to attract her but apparently, even that’s not enough.
You remind me a lot of myself when I was in my 20s. I finally learned how to stop the destructive dating patterns I was setting up for myself, and believe it or not, much of it was learned by reading and just studying the subject for a bit, then applying what I had learned in the field. I would read about relationships (male-oriented dating sites) and then I would just gradually work up the nerve to start asking women out and looking at whatever happened afterwards as an experience. I didn't learn the art of dating right away, but I can say that I am a happily married man now and even if my wife dumped me, I'd probably find a way to recover eventually. Don't get me wrong: I would hope that never happens 'cause I love my wife more than anything, but I'm just using that as a hypothetical.
Anyway, I digress....
Your problem right off the bat is that you're approaching this the wrong way. You're doing what I used to do and what a lot of guys do: you're just not being manly enough. I know that sounds harsh, but that's the truth. Women want men, who act decisively and act boldly. Women want men who know what they want and can communicate that in a direct and confident way. Now confidence might mean different things to different people across different cultures, but basically, it just means letting a woman know who you are, and you're interested in getting to know who she is. It's really that simple. There are techniques to develop the pick up approach, but basically, that's it. Remember, it starts with acting like a man and not d!cking around and hoping she 'gets' that you're interested in her; just be bold and communicate that with your behavior.
Case in point: don't hang out with a woman, pretending to be a friend when what you really want is to get into her pants. Just find a gentlemanly way to communicate to her that you want to get into her pants and find subtle ways to communicate that she might have some fun in return. But being a friend and hoping to turn that into something else is just asking for trouble, asking for awkwardness. It never ends well, and it especially sucks for the guy because he goes from seeing a perfectly nice girl as a heart-stomper, which isn't really fair to her either.
Bitterness isn't strength. It's weakness. And if you're in your early 20s, that's just way to early to haul out the white flag and wave it around.
I only read your OP, so you might have more clues salted about. But while you talk about what happens in your relationships, you seem to lack the self-awareness to understand how your approach to a relationship puts you in the friend zone. Are you suffocating? Do you cling? Are you trying to rush things? Do you bow and scrape before the woman in question, rather than be your own person with your own beliefs and opinions, even if they don't coincide with hers?
Women want to be adored, but they hate being worshipped. They want to be in a living, breathing relationship with someone who is his own person, not someone who has subjected himself to her. In that sense, it's not the person with smooth, rounded corners that is so attractive. It's the one with a few sharp edges.
So get the whining out of your system and then examine what you do to drive these women away. I mean really be objective about matters. Ask a trusted friend for an opinion and then listen. Don't defend. Just listen. You'll be surprised at what you learn.
What I mean by that, is that when a guy approaches within seconds of eyeing an attractive girl, to her it seems that its fate that put them together and they were meant to be. Tried and true. Its also about a 1000X more succesful than sitting back and starring a girl down, who quickly finds it creepy. Sorry bout the spelling.
Also, another golden nugget of advice for guys, is.....dont ask women for dating advice, EVER. Understand, that every guy gets rejected with no exceptions. Some become bitter, and others think of it as a learning experience and dont think much of it. Guess who is more succesful in dating (getting laid). The more you get rejected, the easier it is to deal with and soon enough its no big deal.
What I mean by that, is that when a guy approaches within seconds of eyeing an attractive girl, to her it seems that its fate that put them together and they were meant to be. Tried and true. Its also about a 1000X more succesful than sitting back and starring a girl down, who quickly finds it creepy. Sorry bout the spelling.
Maybe you should let the women talk about how they feel - because I have no idea what you are talking about. I think you have been watching too many chick flicks.
Maybe you should let the women talk about how they feel - because I have no idea what you are talking about. I think you have been watching too many chick flicks.
Dont worry about it too much. You wouldnt admit to it, even if you knew. Keep looking for nice guys, who are always themselves, because all of us guys know how well that works. Women give absolutely attrocious advice, and the reason I know is I have two sisters and have read alot on the subject.
Dont worry about it too much. You wouldnt admit to it, even if you knew. Keep looking for nice guys, who are always themselves, because all of us guys know how well that works. Women give absolutely attrocious advice, and the reason I know is I have two sisters and have read alot on the subject.
I'm not worried at all about it. I just find your posts humorous! I think that my husband is a nice guy who is always himself! And we didn't lock eyes across a crowded room as time stood still - we met through work, got to know each other, and fell in love.
What I mean by that, is that when a guy approaches within seconds of eyeing an attractive girl, to her it seems that its fate that put them together and they were meant to be. Tried and true.
What!? This is romance novel fluff. Luckily, not all women are so gullible and simple-minded.
Quote:
Also, another golden nugget of advice for guys, is.....dont ask women for dating advice, EVER.
More bad advice. Who better to know what a woman want or feels than to ask one.
Your sisters may give crappy advice but that doesn't mean everyone will.
What!? This is romance novel fluff. Luckily, not all women are so gullible and simple-minded.
More bad advice. Who better to know what a woman want or feels than to ask one.
Your sisters may give crappy advice but that doesn't mean everyone will.
No, not everyone, just every woman. Im not trying to gender bash here or make anyone feel offended. Women feel not think when it comes to matters of heart. Logic and common sense never really apply. If you dont believe me, trying talking out a girl out of liking a guy, and you will have exactly as much success and trying to talk a girl into liking one, exactly ZERO.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
