At almost 30 year of age...is it hopeless to get married? (men, single)

[Oleg Bach]

The question you have to ask is - can you find a woman that is willing to have your children..? I had a number of live in wives....and about the age of 33 I got a woman pregnant - and I stayed with her for 27 years - I would call that marriage...

[notyouraveragebear]

Rift, consider yourself LUCKY to be 30 and still single. Think about it...how have you changed since age 20? Many people change their stance on political and religious issues later in life. Imagine yourself right now in a 10-year marriage with someone who's current beliefs differ from yours. Imagine you two have young kids in the mix. You think you're lonely at 30 being single? Married life can also be lonely.

My advice is to keep yourself busy with work, friends, and hobbies. Enjoy life as is.

[MariaKintobor]

Originally Posted by Rift

I was just wondering what anyone's opinon would be of a male that is almost 30 years old who is not married and single. Is it still possible to find someone and get married at this age. I almost feel like I missed my chances in my 20's. Where did the time go? Thing is I'm not very aggressive in trying to find a partner. I would like to find someone, but feel like a lot of time has passed and most people in my age range from say 25-30 are married or very close to it. It's almost like there are no young girls that are single anymore. It's tough to find someone that fits my criteria and is still single.

Should I feel bad about this at this point in my life?

If gets me down a great deal of the time. I always find people asking me if I am married and/or have kids. And they seemed shocked that I am not/give me a hard time about it. Makes me feel like sh@it.

I def did not follow the cookie cutter lifestyle as most do. I'm pretty independent I guess you could say.

Just wondering if there is hope. I'm a normal guy and find that people seem to think of me as attractive, but I just don't know.

Is that part of life over for someone in this situation? I mean no more dating..and just living life solo until death?

Very, very discouraged with the situation.

Thanks for your opinions.

I never considered marrying anyone under the age of 30. Trust me. You don't 'expire' when you turn 30. That is when most men finally mature.

[Ameribull]

Yeah man consider yourself lucky. I wish I would have waited. These days 30 is a good age to start. If you would of gotten married at 22 you would be on here now asking about life after divorce. And you think your money situation is bad now?? Think of how it is now and then deduct 25 - 40% for child support.

My advice is stop worrying about it. Get your crap together the best you can and have some fun. It will happen when its time. Personally if we were friends I'd try to talk you out of it all together lol. But if its something you want to do then just be the best "you" you can and meet some people. It will happen in time.

[itshim]

You'd actually be doing yourself a favor by waiting until AFTER 30 before you get married.

[DTL3000]

....OMG you're almost 30! You better start hitting up the nursing homes for dates pretty soon...

I'm just curious. Where do you live? If you live in a smallish, more traditional place then I can sorta see where you are coming from but I think you are dwelling a bit too much on the negative and seeing what you want to see(all married people). If you live in a large city then you are delusional.

I come from a pretty rural place in the south and it's probably just as you'd describe your situation(honestly I don't pay much attention to the singles scene there nowadays). Everybody is married. However, I've lived in large cities(Atlanta and New York) and any guy would be a fool to get married before 30 in both cities and maybe even 40 in NYC. People in places like that tend to stay single a lot longer due to building a career, more dating options, etc.

It's all relative I guess. Peer pressure has a lot to do with it. Either way, the more you worry about it the more it starts to wear you down. And remember, marriage isn't the end-all be-all for a lot of people. Some people are perfectly content to remain single for life.

[Snd485]

Don't be discouraged OP. You have time. Sounds like maybe you live in a small town? I'm from one and when I go home for the holidays I feel like I'm behind the curve since almost everyone I went to hs and college with who's back there is married and/or has kids. But I live in a city now and I have plenty of friends my age (I'm 26) and older who are single. I think around age 30 is when a lot of young professionals start getting serious about finding a partner. There's hope!

[Broncos Quarterback]

I'm in the same boat as you, OP, more or less:

On one hand, don't worry too much about it. On the other hand, if you're looking for a girl who's never been married and doesn't have children, you'll want to make a good effort in the next 5 years for sure.

Live your life to the fullest, but definitely ask a girl out if you're interested. Don't wait around too long.

[Oleg Bach]

My youngest son married at the age of 21 - some girl from Chile....who really liked Canada- a lot...the poor boy is controlled by his penis...and I am getting to dislike..the young woman - who dislikes me and figures that I am in the way - of her having full control over what is a mere boy - Oh well - I guess if I was his age I would go for the sex also...dumb young people - wish I was one of them...

[jifwittle]

I am a firm believer that you can find love at any age. I think that if you think about it less and try to focus on being happy, it might just happen sooner than later. In general, I think when we feel pressure or feel like we are losing time, people can sense it and perceive it as desperation.