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Old 02-22-2012, 02:46 PM
 
Location: NJ
775 posts, read 841,887 times
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I just don't see why people want to have kids, especially unmarried, in the first place. The direction this country is going in is lousy, and you want to raise a kid like that! Very cruel and unusual!
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:25 PM
 
2,445 posts, read 2,393,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
Nobody has to be a puritan to act responsibly.
What is the irresponsible part? Not being married? Having a kid? Not making 60k a year and having a house first? Your statement was kind of vague.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:30 PM
 
20,884 posts, read 23,081,970 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aganusn View Post
What is the irresponsible part? Not being married? Having a kid? Not making 60k a year and having a house first? Your statement was kind of vague.
It's irresponsible to have sex with loser guys who won't stick around if you get pregnant. (If you're unsure, then ask; if you didn't ask, then assume that he won't.)

It's also irresponsible to go through with the pregnancy, if said loser guy does what loser guys do, and disappears.

Of course, tell this to the woman who made these choices, and she will scream at you like a banshee... so I don't recommend it.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:49 PM
 
87 posts, read 182,886 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
Thanks. I have to say, I don't agree with that logic at all. Bascially they're saying if you're a poor black girl, go out and get pregnant because that's the best thing for you. Really? "For poor teens of color, in contrast, the opportunity costs of early childbirth are much lower. Poor teens can see that their odds of affording a good college followed by a high-paying, high-status career are low. And for poor black girls, the odds of finding someone suitable to marry during peak childbearing years or even during their 20s are much lower. So overall, poor girls of color have much less reason to delay childbearing."

I have to question the validity of this "article". It's a blog and not a trustworthy resource. I'm wondering if they're being completely sarcastic
Well it is an opinion piece obviously, most articles/blogs are. The facts they reference is the article on the lack of economic improvement from delaying childbearing for these disadvantaged women. I don't know if that's true, but it sounds plausible, and if it is true that delaying childbearing does not improve expected income/social economic status then why would you delay childbearing?

I know this is hard to accept and that we as a society want to believe that everyone deserve the best. The thing is, not all men are husband/father material. The men that are are usually out of these women's leagues. While you might not want to be a single mother, it might be that if you want kids then being a single mother is the best you can do given what you have. If delaying child bearing doesn't improve your expected social economic status, then being a teen single mom is probably better than being a middle aged single mom since your kids are less likely to have genetic problems.

I think people often forget that life isn't a Horatio Alger story. It's discomforting for us to admit that even in America, we have a soft caste system. Not everyone starts life with the same set of opportunities.
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Old 02-22-2012, 05:48 PM
 
2,445 posts, read 2,393,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
It's irresponsible to have sex with loser guys who won't stick around if you get pregnant. (If you're unsure, then ask; if you didn't ask, then assume that he won't.)

It's also irresponsible to go through with the pregnancy, if said loser guy does what loser guys do, and disappears.

Of course, tell this to the woman who made these choices, and she will scream at you like a banshee... so I don't recommend it.
So, it's not irresponsible to think it's ok to have a kid as long as someone else is around to help take care of it? Regardless if one or both parties is actually ready?

"Losers" can still wear condoms. And how is someone supposed to even know such a thing is going to happen before it does. This is like saying "People shouldn't date because they should have known breakup was possible."

You are aware losers and non losers lie, correct? This includes losers who poke holes in condoms to get pregnant (were you aware women could be losers as well?). Or that people change goals, motives and desires as time passes, or that both parties in the relationship actually never talk about some of these things before they happen.....
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Old 02-22-2012, 08:13 PM
 
Location: North America
14,208 posts, read 8,611,291 times
Reputation: 5529
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigmaingr View Post
The problem is that these "committed-but-unmarried" relationships almost always end in the mother being a single parent. Within two years after birth, 1/3 of out-of-wedlock children live apart from dad versus just 7% of children born during a marriage. If you look 5 to 10 years down the road, most of these out-of-wedlock children no longer have any contact with the father.

And so, a woman deciding to have a child in one of these relationships is essentially signing up to be a single mother. Still no problem? The majority of child born in such relationships will be raised in poverty; very few women under 30 have the financial means to adequately provide for a child alone. And:

-girls raised in such an environment are much more likely to become sexually active at a young age, become pregnant before leaving high school (if they even graduate), experience a sexual assault or acts of domestic violence;

-boys raised in such an environment are much more likely to drop out of high school and end up in the prison system.


I won't bother searching for and posting statistics because they'll just be labeled as coming from a biased source. Just go to your local alternative high school, GED program, prison, or Friend of the Court office, and see for yourself if marriage matters. Granted, you'll find some that come from two-parent households but not many.

You have to understand that a large portion of single mothers tend to come from a more disadvantged part of society which skews the numbers a bit. Lets see how much it affects people from middle to upper middle class with a goof support structure .
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Old 02-23-2012, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,825 posts, read 9,317,354 times
Reputation: 9122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
You have to understand that a large portion of single mothers tend to come from a more disadvantged part of society which skews the numbers a bit. Lets see how much it affects people from middle to upper middle class with a goof support structure .
That's what the original OP article is about. It references financial and economic status. I don't believe what the other link talks about though. That other link basically says if you're a poor black girl, the best thing to do is go out and get pregnant because you have no future and do it while you're young because you're most attractive now. That's a horrible way to think.
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Old 02-23-2012, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 18,525,311 times
Reputation: 22051
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
I just don't see why people want to have kids, especially unmarried, in the first place. The direction this country is going in is lousy, and you want to raise a kid like that! Very cruel and unusual!
People of every generation have said this. My father thought the same thing over 30 years ago and I guarantee you people his parents age thought the same thing and so on and so forth. The world isn't that bad. And it's going to get better and worse. And my children's children will probably say the same thing.
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Old 02-23-2012, 01:01 PM
 
Location: 757 raised and 703 living
21,332 posts, read 29,307,576 times
Reputation: 27179
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
I just don't see why people want to have kids, especially unmarried, in the first place. The direction this country is going in is lousy, and you want to raise a kid like that! Very cruel and unusual!
The problem is that there is an expectation to reproduce from all kind of sources whether religious or family-based. I don't want kids period but I'm probably going to hear it when I get older about not reproducing.
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Old 02-23-2012, 02:41 PM
 
7,524 posts, read 5,417,998 times
Reputation: 10930
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alanboy395 View Post
The problem is that there is an expectation to reproduce from all kind of sources whether religious or family-based. I don't want kids period but I'm probably going to hear it when I get older about not reproducing.
Also some people just flat out don't think when they are horny. Some people either are ignorant towards or simply don't care about the complications that can arise out of sex.
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