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Old 02-18-2012, 05:50 PM
 
4,191 posts, read 5,124,545 times
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This is why I’ll be forever alone. I don’t want to take care of someone else’s illegitimate spawn.
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Old 02-18-2012, 05:55 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 10,355,919 times
Reputation: 20114
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fargobound View Post
This is why Iíll be forever alone. I donít want to take care of someone elseís illegitimate spawn.
That's a child you're talking about...a real person. People like you who don't respect children should definitely stay alone.

I have no problem with men or women who don't want to take on other people's kids but I do have an issue with people who use derogatory names for kids. It isn't their fault, they didn't choose their parents.
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Old 02-18-2012, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Dallas
93 posts, read 87,637 times
Reputation: 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oscillatory View Post
Whether a couple is married or not isn't the problem to me. I just don't think it's good for so many kids to be raised by single parents. I know many women don't have a choice because of deadbeat spouses, but some willingly choose to raise their children with no father figure, which is unfair for the kids. YOU may not need a man but your kids do. I would've killed to have a two parent household growing up.
I'm a single mom, not by choice. My ex broke up with me when I wouldn't have an abortion and now he's dating a girl with a kid. He only sees my daughter on holidays and spends the rest of his time with his new make-shift family.

Would you have killed for that?

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Old 02-19-2012, 12:00 AM
 
1,328 posts, read 2,133,809 times
Reputation: 1383
Quote:
Originally Posted by dimps88 View Post
I'm a single mom, not by choice. My ex broke up with me when I wouldn't have an abortion and now he's dating a girl with a kid. He only sees my daughter on holidays and spends the rest of his time with his new make-shift family.

Would you have killed for that?

No, you are a single mom by choice. You just said the guy broke up with you when you wouldn't have an abortion so he basically told you what the deal was from the start. However, you obviously disregarded his opinion on the matter and ultimately did what you wanted to do.

Sounds like you did, in fact, make a choice to become a single mom. There's nothing wrong with that, but don't think that you didn't make a choice.
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Old 02-19-2012, 12:07 AM
 
Location: Wildside of Oahu
1,404 posts, read 2,480,554 times
Reputation: 2383
I read a book called "In defense of marriage" or something close to that.

Anyway, the statistics are frightening for single women and their children. They are more frequently crime victims, due in large part not being able to afford housing in "good, safe" areas. Their health is usually worse, as many can not afford health insurance or doctor/dentist visits and often suffer from poor nutrition. The children do worse in school, fewer go on to college, a high % end up in jail and have higher % of drug and alcohol abuse.

Does that mean every single mom is rotten? No. And not every child from a single parent household will suffer. BUT, as a thinking being, if you could increase your odds of raising children in crime free, healthy enviroment with good schools and decent food, why wouldn't you?

I also believe there is a huge difference between mature adults choosing to have children with out the benefit of marriage, but with a true commitment and young women having children with some loser BF who ditches her & the kid when the going gets tough. (And it always does in real life).

If I ran the world, I would mandate the birth control implant when a girl starts menstruating and only remove it when they turn 21 and pass an IQ test.
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Old 02-19-2012, 12:07 AM
 
2,096 posts, read 2,715,986 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
Honestly? As liberal, even progressive, as I am, the news in the article didn't sit well with me. I think women who have kids out of marriage are putting themselves and their children in entirely too vulnerable a position. It's just too easy for the father to disappear into the woodwork before the kid is even born.

Yes, the article noted how some women make enough money to keep the roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. So what? The article also illustrated how those women aren't necessarily spending time with their kids, and in those first few years of life, that time is just so important.

I don't have kids and didn't really want them, but even before I made up my mind about that, I always thought that if I did have them, not only would I be married, but one of us would stay home with the kid for the first few years (didn't matter which one).
You expressed my thoughts on this exactly.Thanks
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Old 02-19-2012, 04:13 AM
 
Location: Bronx
12,968 posts, read 15,272,736 times
Reputation: 6636
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigmaingr View Post
Something is wrong when these men are apparently suitable to be fathers but not husbands. Or, are these men good enough for the baby but not for mama?

Something is wrong when we don't expect men to become husbands.

Something is wrong when we don't raise our daughters to demand and expect a lifelong commitment of love.

Something is wrong when we tell men they aren't needed for child rearing.

"But we're committed. He'll be around for his kids" --> Okay, check back in 18 years and let us know how that plan turned out.

Marriage is failing because we gave up on it.
The question I have to ask is why these women sleep men who are not father/husband material?
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Old 02-19-2012, 04:16 AM
 
Location: Texas
40,442 posts, read 44,450,516 times
Reputation: 61116
Quote:
Originally Posted by enigmaingr View Post
I'll echo that! I'd say most of us who grew up in single parent homes now, as adults, wish we would have had two parents.
You didn't really echo it. You just said you wanted two parents.
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Old 02-19-2012, 04:20 AM
 
Location: Texas
40,442 posts, read 44,450,516 times
Reputation: 61116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joliefille View Post
Anyway, the statistics are frightening for single women and their children. They are more frequently crime victims, due in large part not being able to afford housing in "good, safe" areas. Their health is usually worse, as many can not afford health insurance or doctor/dentist visits and often suffer from poor nutrition. The children do worse in school, fewer go on to college, a high % end up in jail and have higher % of drug and alcohol abuse.

as a thinking being, if you could increase your odds of raising children in crime free, healthy enviroment with good schools and decent food, why wouldn't you?.
This isn't really about single parents vs two...this is about poor vs not poor.
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Old 02-19-2012, 04:23 AM
 
Location: Bronx
12,968 posts, read 15,272,736 times
Reputation: 6636
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joliefille View Post
I read a book called "In defense of marriage" or something close to that.

Anyway, the statistics are frightening for single women and their children. They are more frequently crime victims, due in large part not being able to afford housing in "good, safe" areas. Their health is usually worse, as many can not afford health insurance or doctor/dentist visits and often suffer from poor nutrition. The children do worse in school, fewer go on to college, a high % end up in jail and have higher % of drug and alcohol abuse.

Does that mean every single mom is rotten? No. And not every child from a single parent household will suffer. BUT, as a thinking being, if you could increase your odds of raising children in crime free, healthy enviroment with good schools and decent food, why wouldn't you?

I also believe there is a huge difference between mature adults choosing to have children with out the benefit of marriage, but with a true commitment and young women having children with some loser BF who ditches her & the kid when the going gets tough. (And it always does in real life).

If I ran the world, I would mandate the birth control implant when a girl starts menstruating and only remove it when they turn 21 and pass an IQ test.
In the bronx and rest of nyc much of this holds some truth. , much of the problems stems from single parent homes which I see quite to often and more worse if the single mom does not have a support net of family relatives to pitch in and asisst in raising her kids.

Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 02-19-2012 at 04:32 AM..
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