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Old 02-19-2012, 03:35 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,248,233 times
Reputation: 7251
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fargobound View Post
This is why I’ll be forever alone. I don’t want to take care of someone else’s illegitimate spawn.

Men say all the time they will not date single mothers because they don't want to deal with another man's children in the long run if it turns serious. Myself and many other women would never date a man who had small children for the fact of the 'baby mama drama' that often ensues -- I don't see how that's any different from what you just said, but whatever.
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Old 02-19-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Asheville, Nc
3,774 posts, read 2,140,216 times
Reputation: 2499
As one poster stated I'm more concerned with the child then I am if the parents are married or not. One doesn't have to be married to raise a child and do it right. I don't know where people get this idea from but they need to get over it. As long as both parents help to raise the child that's all that should matter to anyone.
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Old 02-19-2012, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC area
550 posts, read 448,765 times
Reputation: 657
Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
No, it's not ignorance. Just like a woman has the right to choose, I believe a man should also have the right to choose; especially in situations where precaution was taken, but failed for some unknown reason. While I don't believe abortion should be used regularly as a mainstream form of birth control, you just stated that the two of you were using condoms and somehow you ended up pregnant. This indicates that he was doing the responsible thing by using condoms, and because he took the necessary precaution which somehow failed, he should have the right to opt for an abortion or, in the event the woman doesn't wish to have an abortion, walk away without any legal ramifications. This way, you both get what you want.

Some will disagree with me, but fair is fair. You'll never convince me that although a woman should be given the right to choose, a man should not be given this same right.

I've heard it before but I will never understand this argument. That's just how things are, biology isn't fair. If it were, men would be able to give birth too. Or hell, no one would have to do it and once a individual or a couple chose to have a baby, the stork would bring it - bam! no unplanned pregnancies. But things don't work that way. I don't understand how it would be any more fair to force a woman to have an abortion or to force her to take care of a child she didn't plan for, took precaution against having, and didn't create by herself.

In response to the OP though, I don't know what to think of the article. On one hand, I think it's great that single moms face less stigma and that women have more independence and ability to create a life on their own, without having to depend on a men. I was raised by a wonderful single mom and my grandmother (who was a single mom herself). But I also think it's sad that men's contributions to raising a family are discounted and I worry about what kind of fathers this new generation will grow up to be.
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Old 02-19-2012, 06:32 PM
 
2,853 posts, read 1,719,136 times
Reputation: 2097
Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
No, it's not ignorance. Just like a woman has the right to choose, I believe a man should also have the right to choose; especially in situations where precaution was taken, but failed for some unknown reason. While I don't believe abortion should be used regularly as a mainstream form of birth control, you just stated that the two of you were using condoms and somehow you ended up pregnant. This indicates that he was doing the responsible thing by using condoms, and because he took the necessary precaution which somehow failed, he should have the right to opt for an abortion or, in the event the woman doesn't wish to have an abortion, walk away without any legal ramifications. This way, you both get what you want.

Some will disagree with me, but fair is fair. You'll never convince me that although a woman should be given the right to choose, a man should not be given this same right.
Wow!
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Old 02-19-2012, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Amarillo, Tx
622 posts, read 659,887 times
Reputation: 648
Does it surprise you? Been to a club lately?
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:03 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,248,233 times
Reputation: 7251
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameribull View Post
Does it surprise you? Been to a club lately?
yea. that's where the men under 30 go to have random sex and it ends up in pregnancy. oops.
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Bronx
7,960 posts, read 6,558,917 times
Reputation: 3496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joliefille View Post
I read a book called "In defense of marriage" or something close to that.

Anyway, the statistics are frightening for single women and their children. They are more frequently crime victims, due in large part not being able to afford housing in "good, safe" areas. Their health is usually worse, as many can not afford health insurance or doctor/dentist visits and often suffer from poor nutrition. The children do worse in school, fewer go on to college, a high % end up in jail and have higher % of drug and alcohol abuse.

Does that mean every single mom is rotten? No. And not every child from a single parent household will suffer. BUT, as a thinking being, if you could increase your odds of raising children in crime free, healthy enviroment with good schools and decent food, why wouldn't you?

I also believe there is a huge difference between mature adults choosing to have children with out the benefit of marriage, but with a true commitment and young women having children with some loser BF who ditches her & the kid when the going gets tough. (And it always does in real life).

If I ran the world, I would mandate the birth control implant when a girl starts menstruating and only remove it when they turn 21 and pass an IQ test.
Where I live in the Bronx single mothers is a common everyday occurance and for some a daily struggle. In the South Bronx where I live most homes are headed by single mothers and its more worse for black single mothers whos baby father is probably in jail or somewhere else shooting up or selling drugs sadly these women have no heart because they dont seem to mind what thier lovers do! Children have developmental problems when there are no fathers at home. Boys grow up to go to jail and daugthers end up having children early creating a cycle of poverty. For me I too grew up in a single mother home in one of the poorest congressional districts in the union however I still went to school tried really hard to succeed, I took school activities such as after school to help me with my acedmics, played high school football and other sports. I went to college picking up a liberal arts degree from a community community and earning a BA in criminal justice at a senior college. Im trying to hold off and not having kids because I dont want my kids to live the way I did. Now I see parents in my hood who live the same way they lived single parents and sending thier kids to the same crappy schools they went too. I shake my head when I see this and the sad part there is no fathers involved. I knew from the start living in a single parent home is not normal and its something that I needed to avoid getting older and to take responsiblity when sharing bodies with one another. Sometimes I go on the streets of the Bronx and I see ex couples arguing over child support money which is a very common occurance here in NYC. When I date and meet women many already have kids and are no longer with the babies father, to me thats a turnoff. Single mothers have two boyfriends Jesus to pray too and the government for handouts, this is what I see here in NYC.
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Wildside of Oahu
1,217 posts, read 1,367,250 times
Reputation: 1768
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
This isn't really about single parents vs two...this is about poor vs not poor.
True enough. But as another poster said, 2 low income people together might scape up enough $ to become lower middle class, thereby taking a first step up the socio-economics ladder.

A single parent household generally cannot earn as much and has no one to share expenses with. ie daycare, health insurance rent etc..which keeps them in a poverty cycle. Understand, I'm not hating on poor people, but pointing out that many times the choice to remain single and have a child is choosing a life of poverty for yourself and your child.

Just sayin'.
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Bronx
7,960 posts, read 6,558,917 times
Reputation: 3496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Men say all the time they will not date single mothers because they don't want to deal with another man's children in the long run if it turns serious. Myself and many other women would never date a man who had small children for the fact of the 'baby mama drama' that often ensues -- I don't see how that's any different from what you just said, but whatever.
I do say it all the time, as NEw Yorker the streets are full of single mothers you can even smell them. THe last three women I have been with are single mothers. Im trying to get these out of town Yuppie white chicks who are not into local NYC men. Sadly its what I can only get because some of these women are looking for suitable mates and suitable fathers aswell as for thier current children. I dont wanna date single mothers I wanna date women with no children however women with no kids are not into me they just wanna have fun and screw around and worried about whats in your pockets. MY good friend married a women with two kids from a previous guy and she had her tubes tied and she did not want anymore kids. They ended up leaving each other. I two was also seeing a single mother with two kids but I knew from the start it would not work out. I cant bring a girl home to meet my mom and she has kids from another man, my mom will flip out. I dont wanna deal with a women that has baby father drama. But I'm getting older and more wiser so now I will date women with one child from another man and thats about it. If its two kids the babies father either has to be dead, in jail or 3000 miles away.
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Old 02-19-2012, 10:16 PM
 
1,328 posts, read 1,041,183 times
Reputation: 1331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snd485 View Post
I've heard it before but I will never understand this argument. That's just how things are, biology isn't fair. If it were, men would be able to give birth too. Or hell, no one would have to do it and once a individual or a couple chose to have a baby, the stork would bring it - bam! no unplanned pregnancies. But things don't work that way. I don't understand how it would be any more fair to force a woman to have an abortion or to force her to take care of a child she didn't plan for, took precaution against having, and didn't create by herself.
This has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with the legality of one's right to choose. As of now, a woman can choose whether or not to have the child and I'll I'm doing is extending that same right to men. If a man doesn't wish to have a child, the woman is free to have her pregnancy like she normally would, but the man should be able to walk away (just like a woman is able to terminate a pregnancy by having an abortion) without any legal ramifications simply because he'd be exercising his right to choose.

By implementing such a law, women would have their right to choose and so would men. I don't see why you're trying to debate this since men and women are supposed to be equals, correct?
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