U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-18-2012, 11:32 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
16,522 posts, read 8,981,503 times
Reputation: 16548

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
Apparently to some, it is. Both norms and individuals vary from place to place.



Taken with whatever else the new boyfriend learns about the new girlfriend (or her roommate, once again), it most certainly can be a red flag. It all depends. That's why I say you at least give the new bf time. My main point was that some women really don't put themselves in his position. The new bf doesn't know enough about her OR him to just simply be "okay" with it right away.

In and of itself, let's just say, your date having a roommate of the opposite sex should not be a dealbreaker.
Well - anything can be a red flag when you get right down to it. My boyfriend didn't have a problem with me having male roommates. It's not like we slept in the same bed or the same room or anything. I've never had a boyfriend that had a female roommate - but my best friend did. She never had a problem with it. She actually became really close friends with one of the girls he was living with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-18-2012, 11:34 PM
 
16,202 posts, read 8,530,606 times
Reputation: 11790
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkern1989 View Post
I think what it boils down to, as always...is your past. If you've been cheated on or had a girl leave you for someone else, you are always going to worry. Stuff like that just doesn't leave you. But yes, you can't let it be a deal breaker. Simply take your time with the person before deciding whether to date them. If they seem very interested in you, then chances are that they wont do anything with their roommate.

I know this all too well. Been cheated on twice and it doesn't leave me. I won't let it interfere with any of my relationships, but it's always somewhere in my mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 11:36 PM
 
3,073 posts, read 3,796,795 times
Reputation: 4032
It's fairly common in any large, expensive city. I've lived with women, and dated women who have lived with men. It's not a big deal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 12:03 AM
 
Location: Bentonville, Arkansas
690 posts, read 689,891 times
Reputation: 1101
Default Time to change it up a bit...

So we've seen everyones opinion on the question. Now, lets add a bit to the mix. Say that the the person and their roommate were once dating? So you like a girl and you want to date her, but that girl is living with a guy who happens to be an ex of hers. Would you all have the same opinion on it all?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC area
579 posts, read 535,043 times
Reputation: 661
I have a male roommate so it wouldn't bother me if the guy I was dating had a roommate of the opposite sex...I actually did go on a few dates with a guy who had a female roommate and it wasn't a big deal at all. Living with an ex is completely different though. I would not be okay with that...major red flag!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 12:35 AM
 
Location: Gone
1,011 posts, read 588,936 times
Reputation: 3565
No. Except if they are brother and sister or causins.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 01:21 AM
 
Location: Asheville, Nc
3,972 posts, read 2,534,287 times
Reputation: 2605
If you have just started dating then don't worry about it. However if this move forward in a good way & things start to get serious, at some point you would need to tell her your concerns.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 01:32 AM
 
295 posts, read 268,632 times
Reputation: 214
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkern1989 View Post
Would you date someone who was living with someone of the opposite sex? For example, say you're a guy and the girl you like lives with a friend of theirs who happens to be a guy. Would you be able to trust that the guy and girl aren't doing anything together?
sure so many roomies these days that are platonic same with a person who is stright living with a gay or transgender nothing wrong they are just roomies
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 05:34 AM
 
Location: TX
5,926 posts, read 2,415,150 times
Reputation: 2557
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Well - anything can be a red flag when you get right down to it. My boyfriend didn't have a problem with me having male roommates. It's not like we slept in the same bed or the same room or anything. I've never had a boyfriend that had a female roommate - but my best friend did. She never had a problem with it. She actually became really close friends with one of the girls he was living with.
"one of"? I don't know that this is comparable. It's the privacy 2 people share that adds to the concern. Add another person to the mix, and you've added a witness. Eh.

But not many things can become a red flag so easily, since as I said, there are many things that must be established before a new gf having a male roommate will (and should) be considered okay. Do the two have a dating or sexual history of their own, for example. Is the male roommate one of "those" guys, that pursue women as sexual objects? Does he have a crush on her (some guys would care about the male roommate's feelings, if not for the roommate's sake for the awkwardness it could bring). Most things you learn about a new date are things you can dismiss given more information about them in particular. When it comes to roommates, you kinda have to get to know the roommate as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bkern1989 View Post
So we've seen everyones opinion on the question. Now, lets add a bit to the mix. Say that the the person and their roommate were once dating? So you like a girl and you want to date her, but that girl is living with a guy who happens to be an ex of hers. Would you all have the same opinion on it all?
Generally speaking, I personally wouldn't mind the girl I'm with being friends or even roommates with an ex, unless they had sexual relations. I figure that's a fair enough place to draw the line.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2012, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
16,522 posts, read 8,981,503 times
Reputation: 16548
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
"one of"? I don't know that this is comparable. It's the privacy 2 people share that adds to the concern. Add another person to the mix, and you've added a witness. Eh.

But not many things can become a red flag so easily, since as I said, there are many things that must be established before a new gf having a male roommate will (and should) be considered okay. Do the two have a dating or sexual history of their own, for example. Is the male roommate one of "those" guys, that pursue women as sexual objects? Does he have a crush on her (some guys would care about the male roommate's feelings, if not for the roommate's sake for the awkwardness it could bring). Most things you learn about a new date are things you can dismiss given more information about them in particular. When it comes to roommates, you kinda have to get to know the roommate as well.


I get the feeling that roommates of the opposite sex is not a common occurrence in your area. That may be why we see things so differently. Almost all of my friends have or have had roommates and many of them have had roommates of the opposite sex. None of them have slept together. When you live in NYC - you almost always have a roommate at some point in time. Opposite sex roommates isn't seen as a big deal here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:41 AM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top