Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Women are way pickier than men (until they can't be) and you know it. By their mid 30's most women are out of entitlements, and have to start having to pay for their own drinks, dinners, and vacations. Want proof? How many 25 year old women are jealous of a 40 year woman that isn't Jennifer Aniston or some other female celeb that lives a life 99.999% of women could never attain? Age is like kryptonite for women. If you're not in a serious relationship (leading toward marriage and family) by your late 20's why should any man care about you once the baby factory starts shutting down rather than look for a woman that's just like you..... five or ten years ago? Do you think you're a goddess? I know this sounds brutal but most of you that put any effort keeping yourselves thin and healthy have at least ten years of men falling at your feet.
Let's flip that around...how many 40yr old women do you know that are jealous of the 20-something girl?
I know of NONE (and admittedly that's not speaking for all women in or near their 40's). Nobody in my circle would ever go back to their 20's knowing what they know now, and having the lifestyle that they have now.
However, I know of a lot of younger women that say "I wish I had your life"...go figure
Let's flip that around...how many 40yr old women do you know that are jealous of the 20-something girl?
I know of NONE (and admittedly that's not speaking for all women in or near their 40's). Nobody in my circle would ever go back to their 20's knowing what they know now, and having the lifestyle that they have now.
However, I know of a lot of younger women that say "I wish I had your life"...go figure
You know, this is so true, and I think I know why. From a male's perspective, young girls must have it all since they look great (that's about the only reason I can think of). They get showered with gifts, dinner, etc., supposedly anyway, because they look great, because they're tight, yadda yadda.
From the woman's perspective, having been a 20-something woman myself and now at 44: it is not great being that young cute girl because behind all the makeup, the hair-tossing, the trying-to-be-coolness, is exhaustion from trying to be what other people want...specifically men. Younger women *do* take more time out of their lives to try to look and be absolutely stunning...because they don't know who they are yet and they figure since they have looks, they need to focus on that.
Yes, even the smart ones. (raising hand)
And before anyone freaks out, yes, I realize there are some exceptions. Obviously. But I have BTDT and have had many friends who have BTDT. It's a killer regimen to have to look, act and be "perfect," seem feminine yet independent, stand out from a crowd of a bajillion other young girls who have what you have (looks, brains and a future, supposedly), just to get attention from the opposite sex. Just to be acceptable...not to find Prince Charming but just to be treated well.
It's f * cking exhausting.
As we get older we realize our worth in general and not 100% of our worth is tied up in being attractive (physically and intellectually). It's just...not. It never was, really, but who knows that when you're 22 in a sea of other 22-year-olds who are 5 lbs. thinner, 2" taller, have better legs...have a slightly cooler/more lucrative major...know 3 languages when you only know 2...have great hair.
It's hard, very, very, very, very hard. And like I said, yes, even the bright girls can fall for this. Easily.
As you get into your 30s or so you start truly realizing your worth -- not just giving "I'm more than just my face and my butt!" politically correct new-millennium lip service.
Let's flip that around...how many 40yr old women do you know that are jealous of the 20-something girl?
I know of NONE (and admittedly that's not speaking for all women in or near their 40's). Nobody in my circle would ever go back to their 20's knowing what they know now, and having the lifestyle that they have now.
However, I know of a lot of younger women that say "I wish I had your life"...go figure
Most 40 year old women are jealous of 20-somethings, it's just they're too proud to admit it. How many billions of dollars do 40+ year old women spend on cosmetic surgery, botox, wrinkle-removing lotions, etc?? They don't spend it so they can continue to look their age, do they. Have you ever heard of a 22 year old saying she wished she could look 45?
And put a bunch of middle-aged women in a room together, within a few minutes they'll be talking about the age-old topic of an older man leaving his wife for a much younger woman, probably the most popular topic among middle-aged women. You don't find younger women talking about fear of a 50 year old woman stealing her bf.
Most 40 year old women are jealous of 20-somethings, it's just they're too proud to admit it. How many billions of dollars do 40+ year old women spend on cosmetic surgery, botox, wrinkle-removing lotions, etc?? They don't spend it so they can continue to look their age, do they. Have you ever heard of a 22 year old saying she wished she could look 45?
And put a bunch of middle-aged women in a room together, within a few minutes they'll be talking about the age-old topic of an older man leaving his wife for a much younger woman, probably the most popular topic among middle-aged women. You don't find younger women talking about fear of a 50 year old woman stealing her bf.
The jealousy is one-sided
I think what you aren't grasping is that life is actually more than about looks. You might not hear a 22 year old saying they wish that they looked 45 - but they might wish that they had the life of a 45 year old - nice job, nice husband, nice house, nice kids, nice friends, nice life. I wouldn't trade my life at 35 for the life I had at 22. I'm a happier person now than I was then. And to be perfectly honest - I really don't look that different now than I did then. I attribute this to my Asian genes!
And like I said - of course I don't get hit on as much now as I did then. I'm not going out to bars all the time. I'm not working at the front desk of a gym. I'm not living in the city anymore. Usually when I go out now, I have a baby hanging from my shoulders or I'm pushing a baby stroller! I still get hit on from time to time and it's flattering - but to be honest with you - as flattering as it was to get hit on all the time, it was also really annoying. Most of the time - I just wanted to hang out with my friends - not fight off guys trying to hit on me all night. And sometimes the guys could be really creepy or just flat out obnoxious.
The older you get - the more you realize that there is so much more to life than just looks. And once you realize this - your life gets so much better!
Most 40 year old women are jealous of 20-somethings, it's just they're too proud to admit it.
Actually, because you can't see any value to a woman except looks that are young, you assume women feel the same way.
A woman wanting to look relatively young (not "20" though!) doesn't mean she's jealous of 20-year-olds! Not by a long shot. Of course we all love to look nice. And it's at our disposal so why not? (I haven't had any surgery, BTW. But I do wear makeup.)
But want to be 20? Oh good God no, don't know a single woman in her 40s who fits that description.
You feel a woman's worth is in her looks and that looks are tied into youth, hence, your view is, women must feel they are jealous of a woman who is young.
That's fine, even though it's wrong. You're entitled to your opinion, just don't think you can speak for women based on what you like. This reminds me of the penis envy thread. Penises are fun but to actually wear one? OMG, too funny. And scary. Yet some men, because they feel it's such an important part, can't believe women too wouldn't want one.
That's kind of like me saying you must be jealous of guys with cute shoes.
I think what you aren't grasping is that life is actually more than about looks.
^ This, and that's really the whole thing with this poster and others with a similar mindset...they literally can't grasp that so they're not going to understand. That's okay. I don't understand everything in the world either. But yeah. This is pretty much the bottom line for men who think all women must want to be what they, the men, want.
OP,if you think all women past prime after 25, you never had experiences like me, going to pick up date and when mom answers thinking dang, I'm dating the wrong girl
Most 40 year old women are jealous of 20-somethings, it's just they're too proud to admit it. How many billions of dollars do 40+ year old women spend on cosmetic surgery, botox, wrinkle-removing lotions, etc?? They don't spend it so they can continue to look their age, do they. Have you ever heard of a 22 year old saying she wished she could look 45?
Quote:
Originally Posted by josh u
And put a bunch of middle-aged women in a room together, within a few minutes they'll be talking about the age-old topic of an older man leaving his wife for a much younger woman, probably the most popular topic among middle-aged women. You don't find younger women talking about fear of a 50 year old woman stealing her bf.
The jealousy is one-sided
What is there to be jealous of? We have all been there done that. Of course most everyone, woman or man, would like to stay youthful forever. Sure I would like to have the body and health and energy I had in my 20's (who wouldnt), but Im definitely not jealous of those in their 20's, please. As Jerz said when we mature we realize our worth is much much more than physical youth and being attractive to men who only want to get in our pant anyway. We begin to concentrate on our own interest, needs, goals and desires and focus on finding someone with similar ideas that want to be with us regardless of our age or beauty.
Yes we are a vain society and many men and women try desperately to remain young. Even those in their teens and 20's utilize all these products and surgeries. This still dosent equate to jealousy. I have had young women not wanting to be 45 but wanting what 45 and older women have established, maturity, careers, homes, families, financial security, etc.
Actually being in rooms full of middle age women, I have never heard the topic brought up. Mostly we talk about our jobs, hobbies, families, trips politics and religion. If we do talk about our SO its definitely not fear of losing them.
You know, this is so true, and I think I know why. From a male's perspective, young girls must have it all since they look great (that's about the only reason I can think of). They get showered with gifts, dinner, etc., supposedly anyway, because they look great, because they're tight, yadda yadda.
From the woman's perspective, having been a 20-something woman myself and now at 44: it is not great being that young cute girl because behind all the makeup, the hair-tossing, the trying-to-be-coolness, is exhaustion from trying to be what other people want...specifically men. Younger women *do* take more time out of their lives to try to look and be absolutely stunning...because they don't know who they are yet and they figure since they have looks, they need to focus on that.
Yes, even the smart ones. (raising hand)
And before anyone freaks out, yes, I realize there are some exceptions. Obviously. But I have BTDT and have had many friends who have BTDT. It's a killer regimen to have to look, act and be "perfect," seem feminine yet independent, stand out from a crowd of a bajillion other young girls who have what you have (looks, brains and a future, supposedly), just to get attention from the opposite sex. Just to be acceptable...not to find Prince Charming but just to be treated well.
It's f * cking exhausting.
As we get older we realize our worth in general and not 100% of our worth is tied up in being attractive (physically and intellectually). It's just...not. It never was, really, but who knows that when you're 22 in a sea of other 22-year-olds who are 5 lbs. thinner, 2" taller, have better legs...have a slightly cooler/more lucrative major...know 3 languages when you only know 2...have great hair.
It's hard, very, very, very, very hard. And like I said, yes, even the bright girls can fall for this. Easily.
As you get into your 30s or so you start truly realizing your worth -- not just giving "I'm more than just my face and my butt!" politically correct new-millennium lip service.
You fully understand that's true.
It's amazing. It's wonderful!
You sound like you're describing a 15 year old rather than a 20 something y/o. I haven't met anyone that obsessed with looks since high school. Most people of every age want to look good when they're in public but I've never heard of trying to look "stunning" daily to the point of being "exhausted" by it all. As a 20something that sounds weird to me, almost obsessive, which I don't think is normal at any age and it definitely doesn't sound like anyone I know. Most women my age that I know -self included- barely even where makeup unless we're going somewhere special/important. I know, everyone's experience is different but I still don't think that's an accurate description of women in their 20's.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's just...not. It never was, really, but who knows that when you're 22 in a sea of other 22-year-olds who are 5 lbs. thinner, 2" taller, have better legs...have a slightly cooler/more lucrative major...know 3 languages when you only know 2...have great hair.
Penises are fun but to actually wear one? OMG, too funny. And scary. Yet some men, because they feel it's such an important part, can't believe women too wouldn't want one.
