Is Marriage a Status Symbol? (husbands, younger, family, divorced)

[115db]

Originally Posted by twixcookie

My observances in real life...some tout their marriages, like their homes, cars, money, as status symbols.
Has anyone had someone married say to them "I can't imagine being single, it must be so hard."
What's with the smug married thing? Do they feel completed, accepted, or whole if they are married? Is being married a way to tell the world one is worthy?
It seems a lot of women are just out to get married, as long as it wears pants and has a wallet in it.

I'll be first to stand up and say thats not entirely true. Many people view being married as being tied down from a lot of things they would like to do in life. Ive seen people give up jobs, careers and hobbies because they were given the ultimatum. It sucks, but thats why you set things in stone before even thinking about using the 'm' word, this way, you have the 'upper hand'. Of course there will be issues and disagreements from time to time, but some may use something to hold over the other persons head, or give an ultimatum. Thats when you can remind them of what was agreed upon before the subjuct even came up.
Some people also view marriage as just something they do because they dont want to be alone (possibly desperation?). Another sad excuse. It should be something you 'want' to do because you and your partner have so much in common and are compatible. Its no wonder more people live together for the first year or so before doing so, so they can see all sides of a person rather than just the side when they are around them.

[Cecilia_Rose]

Truthfully Ive found that when most people find out my age and how long Ive been married they start checking me out like Im some kind of exhibit at the zoo. So no status symbol here. Im just shocked and amazed I havent killed him yet .

Altho they do ask me for advice. LIKE I KNOW ANYTHING. Good grief I havent dated since the 60's. So yes I do feel sorry for single people. But thats cause of the way I would feel if something happened to the Huz and I was out there dating. I still have 1960's standards so Im sure I would be a fish out of water for sure.

Now that I think about it I think maybe the Huz considers me a status symbol. I think he likes having a independent snippy wife who does landscaping and builds things. Now if I could just convince him hes not a guest.

[Picassine]

Originally Posted by twixcookie

My observances in real life...some tout their marriages, like their homes, cars, money, as status symbols.
Has anyone had someone married say to them "I can't imagine being single, it must be so hard."
What's with the smug married thing? Do they feel completed, accepted, or whole if they are married? Is being married a way to tell the world one is worthy?
It seems a lot of women are just out to get married, as long as it wears pants and has a wallet in it.

NOT AT ALL... I would think it's quite the opposite...

I am single, well-off, professional... good looking... own my home, my car, no debts... I think THIS is status... my friend!!!!

I think this is telling the world that you are successful!!!!

[moonsavvy]

I think these women you are talking about enjoy the security that marriage brings them. As far as the status goes, yes being married shows your employer that you are "stable". Just look at the candidates who run for president, you will never see a single person in the white house because it doesn't look right.

I personally would rather be with someone who chooses to be with me knowing that the door is open if they want to leave, rather than be with someone who feels forced just because we're married.

But the security of marriage is a perk.

[Drover]

If anything, employers look for single women, not married women. The former are less likely to have family obligations interrupt their careers.

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by kansaslady

To some people, being married is a status symbol. But they are the same people who are very prideful and will boast about anything in an attempt to have the world view them as "better" than anyone else (I think they are trying to convince themselves more than us).

One gal I know will admit to her close friends that her husband has no respect for her and puts her down; but to others she claims that she and her husband are best friends. Before I got divorced she always used his first name when referring to him; however, after my divorce she began to refer to him as "my husband". If I ever mention about something I accomplished around the house by myself, she will reply with, "Oh, I have a husband to take care of those things."

My supervisor married a man completely wrong for her and one who mistreats her, just for the sake of being able to brag about having a man in her life. Soooo sad!

Of the few couples I know who are truly happily married, they never brag about it, or even talk about it at all.

IThe old adage, "Thou dost protest too much", can be the same in reverse, "Thou dost brag too much".

have noticed that too...they have to let you know how they have someone to do all these things, but you wonder...I agree, the happiest ones aren't competitive and don't brag.

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

Truthfully Ive found that when most people find out my age and how long Ive been married they start checking me out like Im some kind of exhibit at the zoo. So no status symbol here. Im just shocked and amazed I havent killed him yet .

Altho they do ask me for advice. LIKE I KNOW ANYTHING. Good grief I havent dated since the 60's. So yes I do feel sorry for single people. But thats cause of the way I would feel if something happened to the Huz and I was out there dating. I still have 1960's standards so Im sure I would be a fish out of water for sure.

Now that I think about it I think maybe the Huz considers me a status symbol. I think he likes having a independent snippy wife who does landscaping and builds things. Now if I could just convince him hes not a guest.

Why do you feel sorry for single people??

[Drover]

Originally Posted by twixcookie

Why do you feel sorry for single people??

She supplies the context right there in her post right after her statement:

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

So yes I do feel sorry for single people. But thats cause of the way I would feel if something happened to the Huz and I was out there dating. I still have 1960's standards so Im sure I would be a fish out of water for sure.

[twixcookie]

Originally Posted by moonsavvy

I think these women you are talking about enjoy the security that marriage brings them. As far as the status goes, yes being married shows your employer that you are "stable". Just look at the candidates who run for president, you will never see a single person in the white house because it doesn't look right.

I personally would rather be with someone who chooses to be with me knowing that the door is open if they want to leave, rather than be with someone who feels forced just because we're married.

But the security of marriage is a perk.

Perceived security. A lot of men seem not to want to support a woman, so those women who think they are being taken care of could find themselves out in the world someday having to eck out a living.
I think there is no security. Someone can leave you tomorrow in a wink, and it all changes. Maybe that is why married people are not comfortable around singles, it reminds them of that.
I think single people look more stable to an employer, because they don't have to go running home to someone.

[Cecilia_Rose]

Originally Posted by twixcookie

Why do you feel sorry for single people??

What Drover said. And since you asked. This is how it looks from my side of the fence. It probably looks a whole lot different from your side cause your there and Im not. Since Ive retired Ive become sort of a hermit. Dont really have many friends now so maybe things have changed.

The world of dating seems a lot more dangerous to me than when I was young way back when in the 60's. Aids and STD's are biggies. Also the horror stories I read about and people tell me about internet dating. Also Ive seen threads on here aboutn ot being able to find a significant significant other. So how DO you find a nice peep to date. Add to that Im tall and very independent and probably whats considered a prude by todays standards so voila no dates for me.