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Old 02-22-2012, 03:25 AM
1 posts, read 2,691 times
Reputation: 10


Hi there,
i am a girl from Holland, Amsterdam, that wants to do research for an essay about love. Because the topic LOVE is overly discussed and sang about in lovesongs, I wanted to talk about the not wanting to love, or not being able to love. This might be because it is too painful? Have you never felt love? Do you maybe love things more than humans?

It would be amazing if you could share your story with me. Anonymously I will interweave your story into my essay.

Thank you so much!


Old 02-22-2012, 03:35 AM
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,930 posts, read 6,463,695 times
Reputation: 44187
Welcome to the board, Phebe. Best wishes with your research project.

I think most here want it or already have love in their life or they wouldn't be posting here. At least that is my observation in my short time here.

Many who are scarred from a previous bad experience will usually move on.
Old 02-05-2014, 11:09 PM
19 posts, read 23,647 times
Reputation: 12
In my experience, I am just hesitant to love. I have been burned by men badly in the past and it makes me nervous to try to trust someone new. However, I would think most everyone wants love. Even if they won't admit it.
Old 02-05-2014, 11:23 PM
2,087 posts, read 2,355,474 times
Reputation: 1527
I want love but I can't get it.

I think we evolve our thinking to adapt to our life scenario. Like young boys dream of growing up and being pro baseball players. Well, once they realize that is not going to happen, they become accountants and convince themselves that was their dream all along.

I think almost everybody wants love, but those who can't get what they feel they deserve in terms of looks and status convince themselves they don't need love and are happier without it.

As for myself, my reality is that I literally cannot get anything for large stretches of life. If I really focused and put in the mucho effort, I think I could, but I have some things to get straightened out before I go on the offensive again.
Old 05-26-2015, 02:16 PM
330 posts, read 184,757 times
Reputation: 461
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
I want love but I can't get it.
Same here.

Damn wheelchair......
Old 05-26-2015, 02:59 PM
Location: Colorado
11,628 posts, read 7,195,062 times
Reputation: 20939
Another question is what does love mean to each person?

Some of us want love, and get love, but our idea of what that is, it is very different from another person's idea.

For my recent former husband, love is when you and another person partner up and are loyal to each other for life. You belong to each other. No one else. To him, love is being wanted and needed, because he wants and needs the person he loves.

To me, love is not possessive. Love is wanting happiness for your partner even if that means letting them be free, and being comfortable to have adventures with others but there is only one that you want to be part of your life, day after day. Love is giving. Love is caring. Because that is my understanding of how to show love. It's what I know, and it's what I do. When someone gives me care, I feel loved. Love is respecting another person enough to not treat them like property, and respecting yourself enough to not allow anyone else to do so either. Love isn't controlling or threatening.

Two people can be in the same relationship where one feels loved and the other one does not. Because love is something that means different things to each of us, I think. Maybe that's why relationships are so difficult.
Old 05-26-2015, 03:30 PM
2,601 posts, read 3,088,580 times
Reputation: 3026
I think everyone wants it. It just doesn't always work out the way we planned unfortunately.
Old 05-26-2015, 03:32 PM
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,784 posts, read 3,763,138 times
Reputation: 15988
I would like to be in love... Eventually. But right now ( not afraid to admit it) it's all about me and doing what I want to do without being encumbered with someone's else's feelings, wants, needs , desires... etc. too many places to go and people to meet. I believe that becoming a more well rounded person and getting some things out of my system will make me a much better partner later on.
Old 05-26-2015, 04:08 PM
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,622 posts, read 12,121,200 times
Reputation: 25924
I would love to fall in love again, but I'm with Sydney at this point of my life.

Being in love is an amazing feeling. Anybody that has been fortunate to have experience it, knows what I mean. The pain of ending my failed relationships was a small price to pay for all the great loving moments/fond memories, and self growth I acquired.

Most my life, I've thought having the right woman beside me would make me a better person, and that life was meant to be shared with someone special....Boy, was I wrong. Happiness does come within and not from someone else.
Old 05-26-2015, 04:56 PM
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,536,369 times
Reputation: 24023
Tons of love stories online!
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