Common Sentiment Among AA Males? (date, non-black, marry, woman)

[Oscillatory]

When I was in elementary school I actually got made fun of by black girls in my grade for "acting too white" . And in high school they seemed to be more interested in the hoop stars and other ball players than a tech nerd like me . From my own experience it seems like white and asian girls are more receptive to my interests and personality than the sistas, so I guess I gravitate towards them?

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by krissyIII

I have recently been hanging out with some friends who introduced me to a newly single African American male friend of theirs (I am white). I have hung out with the group of them a lot recently and I think he is beginning to like me. (Asked me for my number, talk several times a week, whenever the group goes out he always wants to know if I am coming). I have never dated out of my race and I am finding him attractive. So for now I am just seeing where this takes me. Keeping things casual.

The other night at happy hour he revealed to me that he has only had one relationship (6 years) and it was with a white girl. He then went on a rant about how he "will only date/is only attracted to white girls and he stays clear of black girls because they are way too much drama:"eek:.

Just wondering if this is a common idea young African American males have? I mean obviously not everyone feels this way (I know I certainly don't). The comment was off-putting.

A small but growing sentiment among the AA males I encounter.

I'm a 23 yr old black guy myself and I know better than to believe that white girl stereotype. Even though my current top prospect for a SO is white, I'm into her for her character and I'm also a sucker for nice eyes and a smile but not her skin color.

You can't judge a book by it's cover. My mother learned this lesson the hard way.

[L'Artiste]

Originally Posted by scocar

I just moved from Phoenix to St. Louis. I'm a teacher and am currently teaching an ACT Prep class at a local high school. The school I taught at in Phoenix was 80% white. The school I teach at in STL is 98% black. The biggest difference I have noticed is the behavior of the black girls. There is almost a "macho" attitude from many of them. Most of them are very loud, and aggressive. The so-called "lady like" behavior that some men expect from girls is far less prevalent in the African-American community from what I've seen. So I can see an African-American man that goes out with a white girl, especially one that is more passive, would compare that to what he was used to seeing from black girls and decide to stay that course.

Now I will say this is probably more prevalent in inner-cities and such. If you look at black girls that live in middle-class suburbs, I'm sure they would have a different attitude and would behave differently.

then i must be an unicorn because i'm nothing like that

[L'Artiste]

Originally Posted by Percentage

I had to do it you guys....

i tried this as a child after seeing this movie with a garage door.. i almost died..literally

[Percentage]

Originally Posted by L'Artiste

i tried this as a child after seeing this movie with a garage door.. i almost died..literally

Glad you didnt die but i betchya didnt make the same mistake of trying to reenact stunts from movies again I'd say you learned a valuable lesson

[Aganusn]

Anyone with common sense should know that black women aren't born "ghetto". What he meant to say was that he'll date anyone with a personality that's compatible to his.

Little things like this are why subtle racism exists. People aren't informed and don't seek knowledge, instead staying ignorant and thinking whatever they want.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by krissyIII

The other night at happy hour he revealed to me that he has only had one relationship (6 years) and it was with a white girl. He then went on a rant about how he "will only date/is only attracted to white girls and he stays clear of black girls because they are way too much drama:"eek:.

Just wondering if this is a common idea young African American males have? I mean obviously not everyone feels this way (I know I certainly don't). The comment was off-putting.

I can see how the comment would be off-putting. I'm black and I recently went out with a Jewish guy who told me that he's only ever dated one Jewish girl because he doesn't like them. He didn't rant about it or go into further details though and I appreciated that because I don't want to spend my dates talking about other women anyway.

Anyway, I would say that it's common knowledge that some black men and women absolutely have negative feelings about each other, but I don't think every young black guy you run into is going to feel that way. If you're really interested, just talk to more of them and find out for yourself.

[scocar]

Originally Posted by Aganusn

Anyone with common sense should know that black women aren't born "ghetto". What he meant to say was that he'll date anyone with a personality that's compatible to his.

Little things like this are why subtle racism exists. People aren't informed and don't seek knowledge, instead staying ignorant and thinking whatever they want.

I find it ironic that you are the one using the term "ghetto", yet blaming others for "subtle racism". I did not say that the way I've noticed black girls acting as "ghetto" or even wrong. I just observed that they had a harder, more aggressive personality than many white girls. I am not "staying ignorant", my knowledge is based on personal experience. Notice that I stated "many", and "most", not once did I say ALL.

I don't think it's simply about being "ghetto". It is a reality that when black kids from middle and upper class backgrounds "act white" they get labeled as "uncle toms". So even outside of the "ghetto", there is some pressure on black girls, to not "act white". This is not "subtle racism". It's awareness of reality.

[jzhang1]

There is a movie about this.
Diary of a Tired Black Man - The Movie

I have very little contact with the African American community so I have no idea if this is just hyperbole for laughs or is this really the way it is. I have to say though, the few African American women I have come across have been pretty cute/nice. It's really hard for me to imagine real women acting the way shown in the movie.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by jzhang1

There is a movie about this.
Diary of a Tired Black Man - The Movie

I have very little contact with the African American community so I have no idea if this is just hyperbole for laughs or is this really the way it is. I have to say though, the few African American women I have come across have been pretty cute/nice. It's really hard for me to imagine real women acting the way shown in the movie.

I saw that on Netflix. For those who don't know, it is a documentary about how certain black men feel that certain black women are angry and have bad attitudes. As for the fictional lead husband and wife characters, I did not agree that their dysfunctional relationship was the norm for black couples, but I'm sure those things do happen in some relationships. Basically, the husband was a great, loving, patient guy and the wife allowed her negative girlfriends and abuse that happened in her past to cause her to lash out at him in horrible ways and destroy their marriage. The husband tries interracial dating, but in the end he finds out that not all black women are psycho and he just married the wrong one.