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One more thing I will say on the subject is this,if you want a gentleman the least you can do is carry yourself like a lady.
It's only fair.
As a woman, I agree with this. If you want to get technical about it, in fact, the original "Codes of Chivalry" in the middle ages involved steps for both sexes to take. It wasn't one-sided or just the idea of "the man doing everything and the woman sitting there helplessly," which is the feeling I'm getting from some of the answers on this thread.
In real chivalry, when it came to woman/man romance (there's more to chivalry than "sexual" romance the way we tend to think of the word), both the man and the woman were responsible for maintaining the association and both were expected to act with manners.
We're talking 15th century here, and I realize it's not the 15th century, and of course many parts of so-termed "chivalry" seem quite silly now (to me), but I'm just sayin', for anyone interested.
Sorry Charlie, with the advent of feminism , door opening and many other things considered chivalrious are over.
Thank the feminist movement for that.
You don't need to open doors or any of that, women are equal to men on every front.
Its not 1950, its 2012.
Guys, you don't need to do that, and you have to be careful.
In today's world, some woman might run and call the aclu if you open the door, trying to sue you or something.
Again, ladies, if you don't like this, blame the feminist movement.
Chivalry is over, its been over.
Everyone is treated equally, and can open their own doors.
You need to go back to that world you were just thrown out of. We don't do things like that here. It never hurts to open a car door, or hold a door open, I don't care what you or any one else thinks, it is a polite thing to do. Period. I also think you will never find a woman who will call the ACLU or try to sue you for being polite. I don't know where you got your ideas, but they are not what the rest of us think.
I was single throughout my HS career anyway due to lack of demand. Not like I had much to lose.
We understand why you were single, and you probably do too. You would get ACLU involved over parking places? Maybe you should have spent more time studying...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder
We understand why you were single, and you probably do too. You would get ACLU involved over parking places? Maybe you should have spent more time studying...
I was single mainly because I'm not Lil Wayne in money or Tyson Beckford in looks and I didn't give a . I graduate college in 3 months, so I likely studied just enough in HS.
It's 2012, I would have thought that ladies first should have expired by now.
Think you hit the nail on the head here Alan, you said "I would have thought", thinking is where you make the first mistake. Being polite will never expire unless you are a real scum bucket who doesn't know the difference.
OK, so I was telling one of my female co-workers about a date I had with this woman I'm interested in. It was our second date, so I was telling her about it and she stops me and asks "did you open the car door for her?" And I go...no? And she responds "well, that is the gentleman thing to do." And I think of myself as a gentleman, I treat women right, I treat them with respect. In the case of this date, I picked her up and dropped her off, I had a rose for her waiting in the passenger seat (since we were seeing each other a few days after Valentine's Day), we had a great dinner and we watched a movie (all of which I paid for by the way, but I'm not trying to throw that out there to pump myself up). We laughed, we had a great time, we made out.
But according to my co-worker, I should have opened the car door or whatever. I think that would have been a bit much? If you treat the lady with respect and as an equal, why do I need to go around and open the door? I personally think it's too much, but that's just me. And I did tell her there are other ways for guys to show their appreciation for someone besides opening a car door. Different women have different standards and the one I'm dating, doesn't seem like the "open my car door, push my chair in after I sit down" type. I just think a big deal is being made out of it, and if she didn't like the way I am treating her she wouldn't have asked me if she wanted to spend the entire weekend, this weekend with her.
Edit: BTW, the co-worker in question is in a relationship of 4 years and is complaining that her boyfriend no longer does these things for her, open the car door, whatever. Welcome to the world of settling, population: you two. He's no longer trying. And I feel like she's using her relationship as an
example. She doesn't like the fact that he doesn't do this anymore yet she's still with him.
"I was a lady when he started dating me and I should still be a lady and treated as such." Whatever. She shuts up real quick about all of this when he gets her jewelry though.
Well, she sounds like she is projecting and is bitter, certainly. She wants other men to feel bad based on her terrible, unfullfilled expectations with her own man.
I think chivalry takes many forms, and there are ways to do it and to receive it pertinent to each couple. For me, it can look as simple as a guy remembering the things I have told him and acting accordingly. The reverse is true, too. I will always re-fill his drink and take care to do the female version of chivalry in return. It does NOT have to look stereotypical.
And no, I don't care at all about the stupid car door. One guy insisted on doing that for me EVERY time I entered the car. Kinda became tedious and made me think he was obsessing.
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