Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There are unsaid communications and cues for these.
If the woman remained in the car by the time I close my car door, then that's a signal she's waiting for me to open the door.
As for opening the restaurant door, it's tricky. The first door, sure I will hold and open it.
If it is one of those double door entry, it's very awkward to hold open the first door when the second door is already within reach as you enter.
As for pushing in the chair, an inquiry would be more suitable. A simple, "may I push your chair in for you?" should suffice. I think the most important part of the ritual is to let the lady sit first.
I was raised to be ultra-chivalrous. I learned to drop that act, over time, because it does not help you attract (or keep) women, regardless of what they might say.
The best advice I've ever gotten came from my brother: If a woman acts like a wh*re, treat her like one.
Most women don't act like wh*res, but then, they also don't act like "ladies" who are entitled to a "gentleman," either. So you should generally offer the sort of etiquitte to your date, that you think she deserves. (Now, Chivalry dicates you treat every woman like royalty, blah blah blah, but like I already said -- chivalry is from another era, and rarely does you any favors.)
That said, I enjoy playing the gentleman role, with a lady who also knows what's expected of her. I think that's an ideal relationship, but it's not how I treat the average woman.
Obviously we haven't met. I love that stuff. I was absolutely floored the first time a guy opened a car door for me.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,043,908 times
Reputation: 11862
Yeah that's not really my style. If the woman expects to be treated like a princess at the start (expecting men to open doors for her) then you can bet she'll be like that throughout the relationship.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,043,908 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph Marnix
There are unsaid communications and cues for these.
If the woman remained in the car by the time I close my car door, then that's a signal she's waiting for me to open the door.
As for opening the restaurant door, it's tricky. The first door, sure I will hold and open it.
If it is one of those double door entry, it's very awkward to hold open the first door when the second door is already within reach as you enter.
As for pushing in the chair, an inquiry would be more suitable. A simple, "may I push your chair in for you?" should suffice. I think the most important part of the ritual is to let the lady sit first.
I don't know many women under the age of about 40 who would do that.
I think about 70% of chivalry is politeness and the rest is trying to impress someone.
I ALWAYS hold the door behind me if there is a person within a few steps. I also grab the door when I see a woman struggling with a stroller. I expect the same from my dates at the very least. And I am extremely impressed if you pull out my seat or open the car door when I am getting in. For me, it isn't important to grab the door when I am getting out.
I did have so many awkward moments when I went out a few times with a really chivalrous guy. He was always trying to make a mad dash to open the door for me to the car every time. I had to wait in the car for him to open the door, he looked so sad if he didn't grab the door for me. And obviously, he had to open all the doors to the restaurant. And go get the car to pick me up so I didn't need to walk in the car in the cold.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,043,908 times
Reputation: 11862
In those old courtly times, when I see men getting on their knees to serenade a woman, show off how brave he is - I simply see a male bird displaying his bright plummage. In other words, nothing but a way to get sex. I don't see it as romantic, I see it cynically from an outsider's POV because I'm not a woman and I don't feel what a woman does, all warm and fuzzy inside. I wonder if gay men feel similarly.
But point is, a lot of chivalry was just the hoops men had to go through to get laid. How many of them remained just as chivalrous after they'd got what they wanted?
Which is why I don't buy most chivalry.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
does this mean, in English?
