Dealing with Relationship Problems: Key to Success?

[Miss Crabcakes]

Originally Posted by scocar

She and the world are better off if she remains picky and single versus the multitude of people out there that can't stand to be alone so they hop into a relationship with the first warm body they can find and ignore all the red flags.

I'm also starting to think she is better off alone but doesn't even realize it.

[Suncc49]

Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes

True but her reasons for dumping the last guy I did not understand. Basically, he adored her and would do anything for her but he liked staying in more while she wanted to be dressed up and go out more. And while he did go out for her sometimes, on the times when he wouldn't, she couldn't deal. I just think her tolerance for differences is incredibly low.

Maybe she isn't looking for a guy who caters to her every whim?

[Miss Crabcakes]

Originally Posted by Suncc49

Maybe she isn't looking for a guy who caters to her every whim?

I don't know. She finds something wrong with every guy and to that I say there is something wrong with every guy and every person. The question is are there any flaws that she can deal with?

Maybe she is her best companion. Who knows. I just know I have no more advice for her.

[Celestyn]

Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes

Well this was the same girl that was crying because she hadn't had a boyfriend in 8 years (I didn't know her then) and then gets a good one and was bitching from month 2. Over every last thing. Then whined for the next year and change about not being able to find a good man. Meets another and he's nearly on the curb. And he's a helluva match from what I can see.

If she were happier single, then I wouldn't be as curious but she always seems miserable while looking for dates.

She sounds unhappy in general. If she is unable to find happiness within herself she is unlikely to find it in another person. I don't really have any recommendations other than to be the best friend to her that you can, because it sounds like she really needs it.

[Miss Crabcakes]

Originally Posted by Celestyn

She sounds unhappy in general. If she is unable to find happiness within herself she is unlikely to find it in another person. I don't really have any recommendations other than to be the best friend to her that you can, because it sounds like she really needs it.

You are right.

She is never truly happy and finds fault with everything. For V-day, she was griping all morning because she hadn't received a gift yet and how her V-day sucked. She then came home to a homemade lobster & spaghetti dinner, shaped in a heart by candlelight, chocolates and flowers. Now one week later, she's sick of him.

I'm going to just be a friend and be supportive cause is never enough for her.

[LoveBoating]

I was single, divorced after a very short marriage, for 21 yrs. I loved being married/having that wedding band on my finger and really missed that after the divorce (that I didn't ask for).

I spent most of those 21 yrs in and out of relationships and engaged a couple of times. "Just what kind of lady do I really want?" was a question I would ask myself quite often. Kids, no kids? Smoker, non-smoker? Drinker or non? Younger or older? Christian or ? I really had to sit down and think/write down what I really wanted and what I'd accept. "What about me?", I'd think to myself. "What do I have to offer?" One thing I did know, I didn't make enough money to support a "high maintenance" lady! Another thing, which turned out to be extremely IMPORTANT, I was a part-time/weekend rodeo cowboy who loved horses and swinging a rope.......had to have a gal that liked that and doing a 2-step! I didn't have any, but I liked firearms and knew how to use them (Navy training).
So, I decided to place yet another Personal Ad in a local magazine and that one worked! No kids, non-smoker, light drinker, my generation (1 1/2 yrs older), Christian and loved rodeo, 2-step and wearing Western attire (including a nice cowboy hat), very nice looking and accepted me and what I didn't have! The lady has been my wife for 11 yrs now and boy can she shoot a handgun and rifle!

A lot of singles don't know what they want, but then again, some do, get it and turn it away for whatever reasons. Some have this feeling: "I don't like being single, but I do like being single". As for me, I didn't like being single PERIOD and I knew that. Some singles will find problems with someone no matter how nice/kind/loving the other person is.

To me, "key to sucess" in a relationship is KNOWING what YOU want and NOT running from it when you get it!!