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View Poll Results: is a 21 year old virgin a turn off?
Yes, very much so 19 19.79%
No, I don't think so 77 80.21%
Voters: 96. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
Old 02-25-2012, 06:00 PM
 
1,333 posts, read 1,899,014 times
Reputation: 1069

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I'm a 21 year old virgin, and I'm male. But I know for a fact that I'm very good looking. I'm VERY tall. No I'm not really religious, and I'm straight. I've had opportunities to to lose it before but I declined every time, I'm in no rush to lose my virginity unless it's to someone I really love. Why should I be?

That having been said, I haven't really dated enough to have ever been in "love," and I'm getting a little old to say that. I want to be with someone, but the dating process is such a hassle, I just don't feel the drive to start dating someone unless we really "click" before I even ask her out, which is a very rare occurrence. Like, why make the effort and jump thru all the hoops if it isn't a sure thing, if there really isn't anything there? Perhaps I simply don't have enough patience to give myself proper time to develop feelings for a girl. I also am very bad at hurting others, I don't like to risk hurting a girl by dating her, not developing stronger feelings for her, and dumping her.

I'm not the kind of guy who will check out a beautiful girl, hit on her, and then try to "get laid," (unless I'm drunk which doesn't happen too much)
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Old 02-25-2012, 06:12 PM
 
339 posts, read 514,003 times
Reputation: 461
FWIW I think you're on the right track. I was a virgin until age 21, with opportunities, but I wanted the first (and maybe only) to be someone I genuinely loved. You don't need to force a relationship but you do need to get yourself out there. Volunteer, work on a political campaign (good time to do now) attend church and bible study, let friends set you up (what have you got to lose-no pun intended). Just do yourself a favor and avoid bars. Most people are there for one reason and it's not just to get a drink.
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Old 02-25-2012, 06:22 PM
 
1,031 posts, read 2,307,472 times
Reputation: 820
It is not a turn off. Keep doing what you are doing, the right girl will show.
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Old 02-25-2012, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,308,275 times
Reputation: 9335
Quote:
Originally Posted by bradleyyo View Post
I'm a 21 year old virgin, and I'm male. But I know for a fact that I'm very good looking. I'm VERY tall. No I'm not really religious, and I'm straight. I've had opportunities to to lose it before but I declined every time, I'm in no rush to lose my virginity unless it's to someone I really love. Why should I be?

That having been said, I haven't really dated enough to have ever been in "love," and I'm getting a little old to say that. I want to be with someone, but the dating process is such a hassle, I just don't feel the drive to start dating someone unless we really "click" before I even ask her out, which is a very rare occurrence. Like, why make the effort and jump thru all the hoops if it isn't a sure thing, if there really isn't anything there? Perhaps I simply don't have enough patience to give myself proper time to develop feelings for a girl. I also am very bad at hurting others, I don't like to risk hurting a girl by dating her, not developing stronger feelings for her, and dumping her.

I'm not the kind of guy who will check out a beautiful girl, hit on her, and then try to "get laid," (unless I'm drunk which doesn't happen too much)
You will never find anyone at that rate--waiting til you click with someone before you go out with them. You have to take time to get to know people. This isn't the movies. Love at first sight is extremely rare--some will say it doesn't exist while others who are still together decades later know better but that's another topic.

What doesn't exist is a sure thing. And it's not jumping through hoops to slow down, make friends, have fun with no expectations and let things happen naturally.

As for not wanting to risk....I'm a big advocate on risk. Everything worthwhile started out as a risk. Without risk you simply exist.
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Old 02-25-2012, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Southern California
25,323 posts, read 24,133,744 times
Reputation: 23712
^^^ Oooo. Wise words, Whyte Bird. You really do need to try or it just won't happen...the UPS girl isn't going to show up at OP's door one day and ask him a question about his favorite philosopher or something. Feelings can take time to develop. (And probably should.)

That said, OP, nope, I don't think it's a negative at all that you're a virgin. It's way better to be cautious about that than to "do it just to do it," IMO.
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Old 02-25-2012, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,308,275 times
Reputation: 9335
I have a short story for you pertaining to being a virgin at your age.

I know a man who lost his virginity at almost 20. When it was over, he said he thought, "That's it?" A girl who was an acquaintance was trying to get closer to his brother and came on to him. He was disappointed, having heard all these stories, and didn't have sex again until he was 22.

His second time is what he now considers his first and at the age of 57, still makes an ocassional comment on how wonderful it was and attributes it to possibly taking time to get to know each other a few dates, spending time just relaxing and talking together. Btw, the first time, I suspect, was not his fault just because he was a virgin. He was wonderful his second time.

So be patient, take your time. Choose wisely. It will be worth it if you do.
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Old 02-25-2012, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,308,275 times
Reputation: 9335
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
^^^ Oooo. Wise words, Whyte Bird. You really do need to try or it just won't happen...the UPS girl isn't going to show up at OP's door one day and ask him a question about his favorite philosopher or something. Feelings can take time to develop. (And probably should.)

That said, OP, nope, I don't think it's a negative at all that you're a virgin. It's way better to be cautious about that than to "do it just to do it," IMO.
Right, I agree. I forgot to say, no, it's not a negative thing at all. Don't buy into that crap if anyone tries to say otherwise.
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Old 02-25-2012, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 14,540,277 times
Reputation: 7000
Hell yes. I'm straight and virgin or not, I'm not into guys
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Old 02-25-2012, 08:08 PM
 
73 posts, read 128,299 times
Reputation: 81
Since you're not religious i think they will be turned off by it. If i were in your situation i would'nt tell a woman that i was interested in that i'm a virgin because she most likely won't be, and she'll think there's something wrong with you.
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Old 02-25-2012, 08:15 PM
 
1,333 posts, read 1,899,014 times
Reputation: 1069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddie Felson View Post
Since you're not religious i think they will be turned off by it. If i were in your situation i would'nt tell a woman that i was interested in that i'm a virgin because she most likely won't be, and she'll think there's something wrong with you.
So just have sex with her anyway and if it sucks what do i do?
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