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Old 02-26-2012, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 22,965,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020 View Post
Bad idea.
Damn right, bro.
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 22,965,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
What do you suggest they do? They're most likely going to be involved in one another's lives now from time to time anyway. It's like I said, they should have thought about the consequences of their actions. They got themselves into this mess and they have to make due with that they have now.
Dealing with the consequences != making another bad decision
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:04 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,012,570 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
What do you suggest they do? They're most likely going to be involved in one another's lives now from time to time anyway. It's like I said, they should have thought about the consequences of their actions. They got themselves into this mess and they have to make due with that they have now.
I suggest they do what is best for the baby. Obviously I don't know these two people from Adam or Eve, but I would never suggest someone get married simply because they are having a baby.

It might be that one of the parents is completely unstable, or maybe cannot financially support a child. Maybe she's a crack addict. Maybe he's a player and lives in his mama's basement.

I would NOT be giving blind advice other than he get a paternity test when the baby is born and go from there.

I'm not sure why you would eve suggest they get married. Two miserable parents aren't exactly beneficial to a child's upbringing.

Like Bosco said, I think this one is out of your league.
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:04 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,599,736 times
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Marriage to a one night stand that you got knocked up isn't conducive to a loving nurturing relationship. It helps when mom and dad have a sustainable stable relationship before having a child. Forcing a relationship where there shouldn’t be one is a perfect storm of trouble. It is better to pony and be as supportive as possible. A relationship with the mother isn’t wise.
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 22,965,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020 View Post
Marriage to a one night stand that you got knocked up isn't conducive to a loving nurturing relationship. It helps when mom and dad have a sustainable stable relationship before having a child. Forcing a relationship where there shouldn’t be one is a perfect storm of trouble. It is better to pony and be as supportive as possible. A relationship with the mother isn’t wise.
Exactly.
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,585,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
they should have thought about the consequences of their actions.
I think we're well past that point now.

A thousand wrongs don't make it right.

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Old 02-26-2012, 10:03 PM
 
4 posts, read 10,488 times
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I forgot to mention, when I first met her, she was frequently going to another town, that is ten miles away. I asked why she was going there, she mentioned it was none of my business. So I'm assuming there was another man when we first met. Not saying she is a ***** by any means, just figuring out that she is a liar and realizing that maybe this isn't my child. Thats the reason why I posted this thread in the first place, to get outsiders opinions. I've made alot of dumb choices in life but that doesn't mean I'll just up and run away, just things seem fishy with this girl. BTW thanks for everyones comments, even the smart ass ones. Gotta have some kind of comedy in a time like this.
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Tampa (by way of Omaha)
14,561 posts, read 22,965,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timthebiker25 View Post
I forgot to mention, when I first met her, she was frequently going to another town, that is ten miles away. I asked why she was going there, she mentioned it was none of my business. So I'm assuming there was another man when we first met. Not saying she is a ***** by any means, just figuring out that she is a liar and realizing that maybe this isn't my child. Thats the reason why I posted this thread in the first place, to get outsiders opinions. I've made alot of dumb choices in life but that doesn't mean I'll just up and run away, just things seem fishy with this girl. BTW thanks for everyones comments, even the smart ass ones. Gotta have some kind of comedy in a time like this.
Want a piece of advice? Don't put your name on the birth certificate until paternity has been confirmed by a DNA test.
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:13 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,980,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timthebiker25 View Post
I met a woman off a sex site and had intercourse with her on November 9, 2011. The condom broke during intercourse and I kept going and pulled out once I climaxed. A week later the woman started having flu like symptoms, then on November 24, 2011 she toke a pregnancy test and sent me a text that she was pregnant. Now, here is where it comes off weird, when I first met this woman, she said she just got a divorce from her verbally abusive husband who is in the air force, the couple also have four kids together which the husband has full custody too. So I recently wrote the ex-husband and find out alot of information like for one, the woman just up and left two years ago, so he filed for a divorce and got full custody because she had abandoned her family. Also the woman said she had seen her husband in october and she mentioned that they had, had intercourse with each other, the husband told me that he hasn't seen her in a while and he hasn't had sex with her in over two years. So its weird how either she has been lying from the start or the husband is, which I dont see why he would lie.

Also I started contacting the girl at her supposedly three month mark and she wants to do spilt custody, I mentioned to her that I don't want my child living on a couch like she was when I previously met her, living on a couch at her brothers house, working at wal-mart. She now doesn't have a job and when I mentioned full custody due to her living situation she started crying and I see the reason for this baby now. She lost her family due to her past actions and now she is using this baby to start a new life, also she had told me that she doesn't want me in this babys life which is giving me the idea that it isn't my child. So if you were the outsider to this soap opera what would you concluded? Plus her dates are not coming up right, now she is appearing to be due almost a month early and she sent me a pic of the ultrasound of the baby that was done on jan 26,2012 and it seems to me the baby is more developed then if I had conceived the baby, so I'm guessing that she might of gotten pregnant by her ex-boyfriend b/c her period ended on October 31, 2011 and if she wasn't with her family then, then where was she, which she said she was with her kids, her husband said she was never there???? So Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

I currently dont have any children and I'm 25 years of age and I have never had a situation like this, never so I dont know what to expect, if its mine then I'm wanting to be in his/her life, if not then thank god. So thanks again for looking and I'm attaching the pic the woman sent me of the ultra sound that was taken jan 26, 2012. So if I conceived the child on November 9, 2011 then this pic would be week 11 day 1, does this pic look like that to you?
After the baby is born have a paternity test done, problem solved. Then you know if the child is yours and you either make legal arrangements with her or you walk away, straight, simple, to the point, done.
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Old 02-26-2012, 10:32 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,772,073 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosco55David View Post
Want a piece of advice? Don't put your name on the birth certificate until paternity has been confirmed by a DNA test.
OP, write this down and put it in your wallet where you'll see it every time you pull money out of it.
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