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Old 02-27-2012, 09:31 PM
 
4,298 posts, read 3,448,865 times
Reputation: 1553

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I do it all together when it comes to my work (love what I do for a living), finances, salary, investments, education, family and friend but I keep all that private. Others like to brag. Lot of people do assume I am married and/or have kids though. I never have any issues with male co-workers though, why is that? Regardless of if they are single, married, kids, no kid.



Why did you leave?

Speaking of stocks, I actually trade stocks so people do come to me for investment advice.

I am in Texas but that does not matter right?





Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I read the title of the thread and didn't know what the deal was. Now I get it. If you wonder why you are getting this flack while other single guys may not be is because you may have it more together, possibly in education, appearance, personality, and the others single guys do not.

I was in a similar situation. I joined a firm where being a single male was just NOT cool. I think that, when they hired me, they assumed I was divorced and had a kid or two stashed away somewhere. It took about 6 to 8 months before their culture sank in. I just have left, but didn't want a short tenure on my resume. There were some other single, not married men, but one was a "paraprofessional" that was 5'8" and about 300 pounds. On the other hand, I was HWP, clean cut,* educated and knew how to talk to clients and consultants. NOT ENOUGH.

*clean cut - one day I was leaving work and a parking attendant on the street I was walking on asked me "how did stocks do today?" I told him "I'm not in that business" (not even close)

I know times are tough right now and I don't know where you reside. If it's not an issue with management and you are viewed favorably by them, it's probably worth trying to figure out how to handle it - that is, compile these responses and others. If it's a cultural thing in your organization, could your options consider a change? If it's just a bunch of gossipy admin. asst. types pulling this $h!t, they must have "small lives" and strive to see yourself as the bigger person.
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,157 posts, read 57,153,700 times
Reputation: 38426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
Hi, I am a 34 years old male. At work, I do get asked a few times about if I have a girflriend and/or kid(s) by female co-workers. When I tell them that I do not have a girlfriend and no kids, they seem surprised. I told them that I would rather be with someone who does not have any kids nor wants any. I did not mean to offend anyone but that is what I want. They said that I will have a hard time finding that type of girl and one girl at work said that 'I don't have kids and I don't want to be with you'.<--This is kinda rude right? I also tend to act shy when I meet someone new also and I know that is a turn off to females from my experience. They also might think I am gay.

Most of these if not all do have kid(s) and single mothers that ask me these questions.

I am really a extremely positive guy overall and I am not ashamed to be single today. I do have prospects but I just don't want to settle for less.

I am also a very private person and I don't discuss my private life with just anyone specially co-workers. I respect everyone even if they put me down so I am very down to earth. There are also other single guys with no kids at work and I wonder what they go through and if I am the only one that gets the spotlight.

I have also been hated and called weird because I am always positive. They think I am on some drugs. Normally, I do not care about what others say but when it comes to having a girl or not, it gets me everytime, it must be my weakness.

Also, what if that girl is on this board and finds out who I am? Then I might get terminated.


You contradict yourself

First of all, you admit to answering these rude people's prying questions, then you say, "I am also a very private person and I don't discuss my private life with just anyone specially co-workers"

Methinks you aren't nearly as private as you SHOULD be.

Don't let people pressure you into answering questions you don't want to answer. Try to remember to give generalized answers if you feel you have to say anything at all.
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
13,793 posts, read 11,035,717 times
Reputation: 23472
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
We have a lot of female workers in the office environment. Lot of gossiping gonig on and I am not into that. I am a very outgoing guy and usually smiling and I like to talk about just about any topic but sensitive ones at work. When I talk about others, its always positive about their work ethics and how awesome they are.

"Well, you're just the kind of girl to change my mind!" <<-- What does that mean? Sorry I am lost. Change my mind with what? To ask her out?

If I do make a comeback, then people may think I am arrogant also.
I meant if someone keeps asking about whether you want kids and you say no and then they tease you, that's when you could joke back and say, "Well, you might be the one to change my mind (about having kids)."

Even if it's not true. It just might throw her and shut her up.
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:40 PM
 
14,755 posts, read 15,407,308 times
Reputation: 8200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
I just think they are bored with their own life so they have to worry about mine.
Exactly. Bored...maybe even miserable.

Here's another statistic (I love this stuff): 5 out of 6 separations in the work place occur because of interpersonal dynamics while 1 out of 6 occurs because of inability to do the work. So many d-b s in the work place.
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
6,115 posts, read 2,310,879 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threerun View Post
I would just be professional and most importantly be yourself. Quite frankly I don't give a rats rear what anyone thinks of me. Some people (professionally) have called me aloof or unapproachable. Others think my dry sarcasm is biting at times. Other people think I'm a pretty decent, hardworking guy..

Point is I'm not out to really please or p*ss on anyone. I try not to let anyone's opinion, especially negative, get in the way of my career or my personality. I don't change for anyone (but my wife, that is )

Just be yourself. My brother-in-law just found Mrs. Right. He's 42. It happens, all when it's supposed to.
Bolded: What does that mean?
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
6,115 posts, read 2,310,879 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
I am not worried about not having a girl friend but its the others that don't agree when I tell them something.

I am well aware of a woman that does not want kids or have one but I will never lose hope because I am an optimist.

Aren't majority of 30+ men married with children? Or have been married at some point?

I rather be single all my life then settle for less and be miserable.
There is no reason why you should except less than what you really want.

Best wishes to you.
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:04 PM
 
14,755 posts, read 15,407,308 times
Reputation: 8200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy View Post
I never have any issues with male co-workers though, why is that? Regardless of if they are single, married, kids, no kid.
Good, then it sounds like your career is ok...and probably in a progressive place in TX. Was just wondering if you were stuck in Pueblo CO or Cheyenne WY.

The reason is that guys don't care because 1) they tend to be more focused on what you can do, 2) they're more chill about this sort of thing. Many women are "catty" and that's the way it is.
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Pa
34,249 posts, read 20,495,060 times
Reputation: 18324
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
Bolded: What does that mean?
Means relationships hit us at all different ages.
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
4,904 posts, read 7,662,718 times
Reputation: 3747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Means relationships hit us at all different ages.
Thanks. Yup. That's what I meant.
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:18 PM
 
4,298 posts, read 3,448,865 times
Reputation: 1553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threerun View Post
I would just be professional and most importantly be yourself. Quite frankly I don't give a rats rear what anyone thinks of me. Some people (professionally) have called me aloof or unapproachable. Others think my dry sarcasm is biting at times. Other people think I'm a pretty decent, hardworking guy..

Point is I'm not out to really please or p*ss on anyone. I try not to let anyone's opinion, especially negative, get in the way of my career or my personality. I don't change for anyone (but my wife, that is )

Just be yourself. My brother-in-law just found Mrs. Right. He's 42. It happens, all when it's supposed to.
I don't give a rats a** either but at work there are rules and one mistake can cost you your job. Freedom is speech is not free and does not apply everywhere,

I enjoy dry sarcasm.
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