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I'm seriously shocked at the type of things women do to each other. I just recently found out an old coworker gave me a bad recommendation to her boss who was considering me for an open job. She wasn't a reference for me, she just works there so the manager thought she'd get her opinion because they are close. I have no clue what I could've done to prompt this as she and I were always friendly at work. We weren't super close but we chatted quite a bit and she would ask me for guidance when it came to running as it's one of my favorite things to do. Anyway-that's all beside the point, I just want to know why women continually cut each other down instead of working together to make significant changes in the workplace or supporting each other during the good, bad and ugly. I think I'm drawn to men as friends because it's a pretty drama-free zone...except now that we're all married and one of the wives doesn't like it when you talk to their husband..ahh does it ever end?
Jealousy, sweetheart, jealousy. Looks like that mean hag is jealous of your professional accomplishments, and feels "threatened" by you. Instead of being upset about it, I'd take her negativity as a compliment
Most women have insecurity issues. I'm from small town NC and I'm a rare breed. I'm 26, single, no kids, own place, and a good job. I don't think I'm better then anyone, but for some reason women seem to be jealous of me. I prefer to let others influence. IF I see an accomplished woman I admire her and take notes, but never duplicate!
Jealousy, sweetheart, jealousy. Looks like that mean hag is jealous of your professional accomplishments, and feels "threatened" by you. Instead of being upset about it, I'd take her negativity as a compliment
Yes! Take is as a compliment! I dated a guy, who was in a long relationship and his girl left him. He moved on to me. His ex and I looked similiar, both have 4 year degrees, good jobs, but she had her first child at 15 and I have no kids and my own place. She started back calling him and going to my page to look at my picture. She even told him seeing us together made her jealous. So now when I see her I do a little extra to give her a show and I eat up the attention.
Coleslaw has nailed this one....
It is absolutely lack of education, exposure and being well-rounded. I find the same thing in my small community in Massachusetts. Lots of at-home moms with too much time on their hands. Many of whom grew up in the vicinity of the town and really haven't seen much outside of the 495 area.
It can be quite claustrophobic at times. And the gossip and judging that goes on is just intolerable. My husband is foreign and I find at simple summer cookouts there is very little outreach for friendship as he doesn't fit their stereotype. I mean, if you're not talking about sports or your blackberry - there's no place for you at the table. Really, it's that small minded most of the time.
My new approach is that I am now avoiding the "click" of women that carry on in such a manner. I have started to put my energies into more positive, community based situations. Believe me, I spent many a day trying to figure out "why" and what makes these people tick and it's such a waste of precious time. We plan to move in '09, as the community we will be heading to is a much better fit for us. Education (life-lessons/school etc.), experience, exposure, open-mindedness, progressiveness - qualities you should look for in people and hope to find in your community.
That's my two cents.
when I USE to be insecure I found that I FELT more catty towards women..... but ever since I gained confidence in myself and am a HECK of a lot less insecure, I don't feel catty one bit. And i can't STAND cattiness in other females because i know WHY they are being catty and it's REALLY annoying to know they are picking me apart PHYSICALLY rather then trying to get to know me........ GROW UP
what do you mean insecure? Like you didn't know you were smart and attractive in your own special and cool way??
Quote:
Originally Posted by SubaruFiend
when I USE to be insecure I found that I FELT more catty towards women..... but ever since I gained confidence in myself and am a HECK of a lot less insecure, I don't feel catty one bit. And i can't STAND cattiness in other females because i know WHY they are being catty and it's REALLY annoying to know they are picking me apart PHYSICALLY rather then trying to get to know me........ GROW UP
I don't really understand it either. I get along great with other females for the most part. I do not have any competitive jealousies or what not. You seldom see men doing to other men how women do to other women whereas cattiness is concerned. To be honest, I steer CLEAR away from other women that say, "I do not like other women, I do not trust them - I generally do not get along with other women, but you are cool and different!" In my experience, they are the 1st to dog you behind your back.
I don't really understand it either. I get along great with other females for the most part. I do not have any competitive jealousies or what not. You seldom see men doing to other men how women do to other women whereas cattiness is concerned. To be honest, I steer CLEAR away from other women that say, "I do not like other women, I do not trust them - I generally do not get along with other women, but you are cool and different!" In my experience, they are the 1st to dog you behind your back.
To be fair, literature is riddled with stories (real and imagined) of men who slept with their friends' mate(s). Men are hardly better than women in that regard ...
Also, as far as cattiness is concerned, it boils down to self-confidence. Women who do not have self-confidence will be more resentful (of themselves and others) overall. They are generally not good company for anyone, male or female.
...To be honest, I steer CLEAR away from other women that say, "I do not like other women, I do not trust them - I generally do not get along with other women, but you are cool and different!" ...
I don't have friends like that and never have. We have a very close knit circle of friends and we are very loyal...I have seen it but never been involved...it seems pretty trashy though.
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