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Yeah i try to look presentable maybe my face is just a turn off i dont know..
You must be pulling our legs. What's wrong with your face? Is water drooling from your month and snot coming from your nose?
I just have a hard time approaching random women i get real nervous and down on myself..
Plus in all my years when theyre were single women in my social circle or friends of a friend who were female came out they would always ask about my other male friends who were single and not me..
If i was attractive to women at all by know you would think by accident one women by now would have shown interest or been interested..
I disagree. There's someone for everyone. Maybe someone did, but you're so damn scared of rejection that you missed the hint. Listen, you're 31, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just be who you are and don't use those cheesy pickup lines. I know a guy who's both deaf and dumb and has tons of women. This guy is lacking 2 of the basic senses and women are still crawling over him.
The reality is this: some of us are just not 'right' for dating, relationships, love, sex, etc. Stop blowing sunshine up the OP's ass.
Well, if that's the truth about the OP, then he needs to own that, and live his live in a way that makes him happy. Fact is, he's on the interweb complaining about fearing rejection, which could lead one to infer that he's not happy the way he is.
Hedgehog Mom is right! You have to approach many women and not only hot, beautiful girls you want to bang, but women who you are not attracted to - just to get better at talking to others. Look, it's all about practice and being comfortable doing something that is very uncomfortable.
Instead of going from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds, take baby steps. Tomorrow, go out and on your way to work just say hello and good morning to every person you pass that looks at you.
If I told you how many times I was rejected, you'd understandingly think I had no luck with women, always got rejected and never dated girls I was into. For every girl that has talked to me, I've probably been rejected 10 times, no joke. And that is a lot of rejection. But when you start to get better, the results will follow. There was a time in college (after hundreds of rejection) that I would see an attractive girl, anywhere, and be able to get her. Not get her into bed, I wasn't like that, but get her number and get into a good conversation with her.
Keep your head up and your goals in mind and you will get there one day.
All this crapola about 'confidence', yada yada, 'hitting the gym', yada, 'abnormal' to not be in a relationship by the age of 'X', blah blah... it's really old, folks. The carpet has been worn down to the concrete with this tired clicheed muck.
The reality is this: some of us are just not 'right' for dating, relationships, love, sex, etc. Stop blowing sunshine up the OP's ass.
Well, if that's the truth about the OP, then he needs to own that, and live his live in a way that makes him happy. Fact is, he's on the interweb complaining about fearing rejection, which could lead one to infer that he's not happy the way he is.
No argument there. Relationships - especially in this age - are vastly overrated... too much drama, immaturity, poor communication, you name it. Better to invest in a pet, IMO, if you want a 'friend' and get into some serious hobbies/interests so that your life IS fulfilled - without all the crap.
Yeah i try to look presentable maybe my face is just a turn off i dont know..
I just have a hard time approaching random women i get real nervous and down on myself..
Plus in all my years when theyre were single women in my social circle or friends of a friend who were female came out they would always ask about my other male friends who were single and not me..
If i was attractive to women at all by know you would think by accident one women by now would have shown interest or been interested..
It probably has nothing to do with your appearance. It's probably all about your self-confidence. If you don't think you're worthy of female attention, then you're going to be overlooked.
If you have trouble approaching women, then you need something that lets you start up a conversation without it having to mean that you're interested. Set a goal of talking to a certain number of women each day...start with a small number. You can start with ugly women, too, and work your way up to the kind of women who intimidate you. Once you're comfortable talking to them, then try asking some out.
It really doesn't have anything to do with appearance at all...my husband has a buddy who's got very average looks and doesn't have a professional job or a ton of money, but he acts like he's God's gift to women, and he dates at least two different women a month. We've heard from some of his ladies that he's not that great in bed, but lots of them still keep begging him to call and to take them out again. It's all about attitude.
i think what's missing in this discusssion so far is a recognition of the fact that while everyone gets rejected, not everyone gets rejected equally. there are those that experience it only, say, 10% of the time, others experience it 50% of the time while some almost always get rejected.
furthermore, for those in the bottom half (>50% rejection), it also tends to come in ways that are much more harsh than it does to those in the top half. i have a friend of mine, good looking, great talker, whose complaints of rejection mainly revolve around women not sleeping with him on the first date. yet in any given month he goes out on at least two or three dates with young, attractive women (early 20s, he's in his early 30s) who keep texting him long after the first date. if he just hangs in there, he can almost certainly score with these girls (and he does get laid frequently enough as it is, so the rejection never really has time to seep in because he experiences success so frequently).
some of my other buddies, however - just getting a date is a battle. they get girls making faces and literally turning away when they so much as approach them. thus, their experience of rejection from the opposite sex requires an almost superhuman ability to overcome cynicism and feelings of desperation/hopelessness about romantic fulfillment.
i think what's missing in this discusssion so far is a recognition of the fact that while everyone gets rejected, not everyone gets rejected equally. there are those that experience it only, say, 10% of the time, others experience it 50% of the time while some almost always get rejected.
furthermore, for those in the bottom half (>50% rejection), it also tends to come in ways that are much more harsh than it does to those in the top half. i have a friend of mine, good looking, great talker, whose complaints of rejection mainly revolve around women not sleeping with him on the first date. yet in any given month he goes out on at least two or three dates with young, attractive women (early 20s, he's in his early 30s) who keep texting him long after the first date. if he just hangs in there, he can almost certainly score with these girls (and he does get laid frequently enough as it is, so the rejection never really has time to seep in because he experiences success so frequently).
some of my other buddies, however - just getting a date is a battle. they get girls making faces and literally turning away when they so much as approach them. thus, their experience of rejection from the opposite sex requires an almost superhuman ability to overcome cynicism and feelings of desperation/hopelessness about romantic fulfillment.
That in someway is why I don't believe in this idea that everyone gets rejected and everyone gets to reject. I guess for the OP he has to decide whether he wants to pursue a relationship with a woman or not. And then in either case he should probably seek professional help.
you aren't fearing rejection from another person so much as you are fearing the rejection of yourself.
when a girl rejects you,
it may lead you to think about what is "wrong" with you.... thus it leads to you "rejecting yourself"
as long as you support and love yourself and promise to never "reject yourself", no matter how others behave or what they do ---- then you will find in yourself the strength and courage to approach anyone and everyone.
who cares if a girl rejects you? you will be able to shrug your shoulders and move on to the next one, as long as you don't take it personally and reject yourself. that my friend, is the REAL problem.
if you can love yourself no matter what, that confidence will attract many many people to you. and before you know it, girls will be swooning over you.... that certain something that they can't quite put their finger on but it's there.
and life will be good. really really good.
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