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Old 06-20-2012, 03:27 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,973,653 times
Reputation: 20084

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Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post

I meant at face value, those men were not noticing her because her personality, motivation and drive made her a different person than her heavier 30# self. They were noticing her because she was slimmer.

Keeping them interested would be the work of her "new" self. But she just said she had more noticeable difference in male attention after her weight loss.
Yeah, I'm definitely the same person to them. They don't know me from Eve as far as personality goes. They just see the physical.

 
Old 06-20-2012, 03:37 PM
 
254 posts, read 341,005 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
Not a bad point, however the attention is NOT from the fact that she is living a fitter lifestyle and therefore is now a different person, it's because of the weight loss.

I lost a good deal of weight about 7 years ago. At my heaviest, when I wasn't trying to lose weight yes, I agree...different mentality and drive.

However, after losing 40lbs and having that "fit person" mentality, and running everyday and working out at the gym 5 days a week, I had that motivated personality. I was also still about 45lbs overweight so there wasn't much in the way of positive attention. 45lbs later and all of a sudden people start treating me differently. I was the same person I was 45lbs earlier...motivated, fit, living the lifestyle..etc.

It really IS all about the weight loss and the smaller body.
I couldn't agree more.

I think it's sad that when you're 20, 30, or maybe 40 lbs overweight, the opposite sex seems to completely ignore you. As a woman who went from 6 pack abs, size 6, to 200 lbs (when I got pregnant w/ my son) and got a few stretch marks, you'll be surprised just how quick people will judge you for it. Especially if you don't lose the weight in the time frame you should (a month or maybe 2 at most). After I had my son, I have continued to struggle with my weight. The smallest I ever got to after having my son was 150, and I'm 5'9"! I remember how good it felt and how much people complimented me, guys where stopping me on the street or in stores to talk to me. It felt good. But then My dad died and I went back to 175/180 lbs due to depression, and haven't been able to get it off since. And I've been active and trying since winter of 2011!

You can't tell me people don't treat you different based on your weight. I'm living proof of it!
 
Old 06-20-2012, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Metro Phoenix
11,048 posts, read 16,814,482 times
Reputation: 12949
Quote:
Originally Posted by SingleMommy1087 View Post
I couldn't agree more.

I think it's sad that when you're 20, 30, or maybe 40 lbs overweight, the opposite sex seems to completely ignore you. As a woman who went from 6 pack abs, size 6, to 200 lbs (when I got pregnant w/ my son) and got a few stretch marks, you'll be surprised just how quick people will judge you for it. Especially if you don't lose the weight in the time frame you should (a month or maybe 2 at most). After I had my son, I have continued to struggle with my weight. The smallest I ever got to after having my son was 150, and I'm 5'9"! I remember how good it felt and how much people complimented me, guys where stopping me on the street or in stores to talk to me. It felt good. But then My dad died and I went back to 175/180 lbs due to depression, and haven't been able to get it off since. And I've been active and trying since winter of 2011!

You can't tell me people don't treat you different based on your weight. I'm living proof of it!
Oh, it's DEFINITELY true, sadly. It's weird to me, because why should someone's physical shape dictate how you get along with them? It's never bothered me to be in the presence of people who are overweight... I've always had overweight friends...

I got sick of being called "big guy," which was just a silly stand-in for "fat boy." I got sick of the fact that I knew that I wasn't being taken as seriously as a potential romantic interest than I should have been. And beyond all this, I was just sick of looking and feeling the way I did.
 
Old 06-20-2012, 04:47 PM
 
254 posts, read 341,005 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by 415_s2k View Post
Oh, it's DEFINITELY true, sadly. It's weird to me, because why should someone's physical shape dictate how you get along with them? It's never bothered me to be in the presence of people who are overweight... I've always had overweight friends...

I got sick of being called "big guy," which was just a silly stand-in for "fat boy." I got sick of the fact that I knew that I wasn't being taken as seriously as a potential romantic interest than I should have been. And beyond all this, I was just sick of looking and feeling the way I did.
These attitudes that people have is quite disgusting. I'm not kidding you, I have seen women who are dog sh*t ugly in the face, but because they have that tiny body and are slim, they pull these guys and I'm like wtf?

But then again, I'm cute/pretty in the face, nice personality but because I'm 30lbs overweight (and I'm trying to lose it) those same guys wouldnt even glance twice in my direction.

Like I said, the attitudes these people have are disgusting. And I'm ashamed that I used to behave like that. But when you get thrown on the other side of the fence, you start seeing the errors of your former ways.

Karma's a *****.
 
Old 06-20-2012, 11:24 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,128,504 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by 415_s2k View Post
Oh, it's DEFINITELY true, sadly. It's weird to me, because why should someone's physical shape dictate how you get along with them? It's never bothered me to be in the presence of people who are overweight... I've always had overweight friends...
Getting along with someone has nothing to do with being physically/sexually attracted to them.

The fatty logic in this thread is ridiculous. If you are fat, people are going to stereotype you and will not be as attracted to you as they would be if you were thinner. What's wrong with that? Is there something fundamentally wrong with wanting someone physically attractive? I don't get it.

If I see an overweight woman, and I'm not attracted to her, I could give a crap what her reasons are for being fat. The fact is that she is fat, there is no attraction, end of story. It isn't my responsibility to figure out what's going on, why she's overweight, whatever. The idea that looks are irrelevant is beyond idiotic. The first thing I see is how you look; if you look slovenly, why shouldn't I assume you don't care about yourself? If you're fat, why shouldn't I assume you're lazy? All I have to go by is your appearance. Again, it's not my responsibility, nor anyone else's, to determine if those things are true. You literally have seconds to make a first impression, so make the best one you can.
 
Old 06-21-2012, 06:34 AM
 
3,417 posts, read 3,067,220 times
Reputation: 1241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
Getting along with someone has nothing to do with being physically/sexually attracted to them.

The fatty logic in this thread is ridiculous. If you are fat, people are going to stereotype you and will not be as attracted to you as they would be if you were thinner. What's wrong with that? Is there something fundamentally wrong with wanting someone physically attractive? I don't get it.

If I see an overweight woman, and I'm not attracted to her, I could give a crap what her reasons are for being fat. The fact is that she is fat, there is no attraction, end of story. It isn't my responsibility to figure out what's going on, why she's overweight, whatever. The idea that looks are irrelevant is beyond idiotic. The first thing I see is how you look; if you look slovenly, why shouldn't I assume you don't care about yourself? If you're fat, why shouldn't I assume you're lazy? All I have to go by is your appearance. Again, it's not my responsibility, nor anyone else's, to determine if those things are true. You literally have seconds to make a first impression, so make the best one you can.
Thank you. I never really understood why it's so wrong not to be attracted to someone because of weight. How is that any different than not being attracted to someone because of height, race, hair color, etc. More people find thinner people attractive, did people not get the memo on this one? one more thing, i get the feeling women are more insulted by this topic than men, but the reality is women are big hypocrites. I was close to 290lbs and I couldnt get a woman to talk to me. I lose 100lbs and all of sudden I'm a GQ model (somewhat of a exaggeration, but you get the point). You cant have it both ways.
 
Old 06-21-2012, 06:41 AM
 
254 posts, read 341,005 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
Getting along with someone has nothing to do with being physically/sexually attracted to them.

The fatty logic in this thread is ridiculous. If you are fat, people are going to stereotype you and will not be as attracted to you as they would be if you were thinner. What's wrong with that? Is there something fundamentally wrong with wanting someone physically attractive? I don't get it.

If I see an overweight woman, and I'm not attracted to her, I could give a crap what her reasons are for being fat. The fact is that she is fat, there is no attraction, end of story. It isn't my responsibility to figure out what's going on, why she's overweight, whatever. The idea that looks are irrelevant is beyond idiotic. The first thing I see is how you look; if you look slovenly, why shouldn't I assume you don't care about yourself? If you're fat, why shouldn't I assume you're lazy? All I have to go by is your appearance. Again, it's not my responsibility, nor anyone else's, to determine if those things are true. You literally have seconds to make a first impression, so make the best one you can.
Oh give me a d*mn break!

So even though I'm working off my weight, and have been you're telling me that because I have a little weight, you're still gonna assume I'm some lazy person?? That's crazy!

This is a perfect example of why I said these attitudes are disgusting.

I remember when I lost weight and went down to 150, and while the attention was nice and felt good, I did not take one of those guys seriously, nor did I give them the time of day. Why? Because If I was 20 or 30 heavier (which truly isn't much btw), those same guys would have looked at my outer shell and not given me the time of day.

It's another elitist attitude that America has. "I'm better than you because I'm thinner that you."

Whats truly disgusting about all of it is it shows at an alarming rate how uncaring people are/are becoming towards their fellow human beings. Like I said, former skinny girl who found out the hard way, just how this feels. I'm ashamed that I used to think this behavior was acceptable.

And guys here's a tip: if you don't look like a Calvin K. model, don't expect women to look like Victoria's Secert angels.

And before any of you boys think you're gonna get smart and use that same line in reverse for a defense (please get more creative than that), truth be told we don't have as high of expectation on men's looks as you do for women. That's a fact.
 
Old 06-21-2012, 06:52 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,482 times
Reputation: 5372
As someone who has never been overweight I can say that I pass no judgment on those who are struggling. I am not physically attracted to overweight men, but that in no way means I am going to treat an overweight guy poorly, ignore him, judge him or pretend he doesn't exist and turn my nose up if one approaches me. Likewise, I am not going to rule out having overweight female friends either. If she is fun to hang out with (and can deal with my crazy antics), the more the merrier.

I think the difference between men and women is that men will harshly verbalize, judge, ridicule, laugh at and turn down advances from overweight women, which is really where the issue starts.

ME (if approached by overweight man):
"I'm flattered, but I'm not interested"

Men (if approached by overweight women):
*Laughing* "You're joking, right?!"
 
Old 06-21-2012, 06:56 AM
 
3,417 posts, read 3,067,220 times
Reputation: 1241
Quote:
Originally Posted by SingleMommy1087 View Post
Oh give me a d*mn break!

So even though I'm working off my weight, and have been you're telling me that because I have a little weight, you're still gonna assume I'm some lazy person?? That's crazy!

This is a perfect example of why I said these attitudes are disgusting.

I remember when I lost weight and went down to 150, and while the attention was nice and felt good, I did not take one of those guys seriously, nor did I give them the time of day. Why? Because If I was 20 or 30 heavier (which truly isn't much btw), those same guys would have looked at my outer shell and not given me the time of day.

It's another elitist attitude that America has. "I'm better than you because I'm thinner that you."

Whats truly disgusting about all of it is it shows at an alarming rate how uncaring people are/are becoming towards their fellow human beings. Like I said, former skinny girl who found out the hard way, just how this feels. I'm ashamed that I used to think this behavior was acceptable.

And guys here's a tip: if you don't look like a Calvin K. model, don't expect women to look like Victoria's Secert angels.

And before any of you boys think you're gonna get smart and use that same line in reverse for a defense (please get more creative than that), truth be told we don't have as high of expectation on men's looks as you do for women. That's a fact.
Not based of my experience. I was 290lbs and obese, nothing crickets when it came to female attention. Lose 100lbs, complete 180 with the women. Women are just as shallow as men, but dont want to admit it. There is nothing wrong with finding overweight people not attractive. Even if you are in the process of losing weight, you are still overweight and to that guy or girl, you are not attractive. I will agree its wrong to assume that somebody is lazy if they are overweight, but I dont think it is wrong not to be attracted to somebody because of their weight

Last edited by nighttrain55; 06-21-2012 at 07:05 AM..
 
Old 06-21-2012, 07:00 AM
 
254 posts, read 341,005 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
As someone who has never been overweight I can say that I pass no judgment on those who are struggling. I am not physically attracted to overweight men, but that in no way means I am going to treat an overweight guy poorly, ignore him, judge him or pretend he doesn't exist and turn my nose up if one approaches me. Likewise, I am not going to rule out having overweight female friends either. If she is fun to hang out with (and can deal with my crazy antics), the more the merrier.

I think the difference between men an women is that men will harshly verbalize, judge, ridicule, laugh at and turn down advances from overweight women, which is really where the issue starts.

ME (if approached by overweight man):
"I'm flattered, but I'm not interested"

Men (if approached by overweight women):
*Laughing* "You're joking, right?!"
Exactly.

Just goes back to what I was say, an elitist attitude that says, "I'm better than you because I'm thinner than you."

I'm glad that you're at least humble about it if an overweight guy approaches you. It shows compassion which seems to be a fleeting thought in our society now-a-days.

As for these guys and girls who want to look their noses down on it, remember one thing: looks fade. You won't be that skinny and physically attractive person forever. Would you want someone by your side that actually cares about you? And if women and men are genetically engineered to seek out a stable mate, good looking mate, then why are overweight people being laughed at for just doing the same basic human function that you yourself are doing? Oh that's right, it's because we're a little overweight! Can you not see how stupid that is??
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