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I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
I wasn't aware that "old-fashioned" people provided for kids who weren't theirs.
I don't feel that just dating would merit an obligation to provide for a woman and her kids. Will I pay for her dinner on the date? Yeah. We'd probably take my car. I'd even throw in for a babysitter if I really, really wanted to do something... but my relationship at that point is with the woman I'm seeing, not so much with her kids.
Now, if I was dating her long-term and planned to marry her, I'd probably help out here and there. But that's going way past just "dating".
I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
As a woman... heck no!! The bf has no obligation at all to help support his gf's kids that she had with another man. The only moral obligations in a situation like this is that the sperm donor/father of those kids should be helping his baby momma to support his progeny.
I'm single with no kids but even if I did have kids I wouldn't expect someone I dated to support them. If we got married, tht's a different story
Somewhere in the middle would be best, imo. That's why I say once you're in a committed relationship with them. You need a system in place (regarding financial, disciplinary, and all other forms of teamwork) before you leap into marriage.
People can say all they want that the boyfriend shouldn't be obligated to do anything. But it's one thing to give your theory, and another to make that plan work. I gotta figure that sooner or later, the mother's gonna get tired of being a single mom with a boyfriend and might just want to be part of a family, marriage or no marriage
I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
You are going to go broke quickly if you keep dating women with kids.
The only obligation you have to her children is to make sure you are not taking her away from them ALL THE TIME. Financially, they are her children and whomever fathered them biologically and they are the ONLY ones OBLIGATED TO TAKE CARE OF THOSE CHILDREN FINANCIALLY.
If you move in together or get married, different story, then you are financially obligated for normal monthly expenses but not the exclusive expensive of the children.
You are not being "Old Fashioned" you my dear are being taken advantage of.
The only thing this guy is morally obligated to do is make sure not to come between the mom and the kids or compromise her ability to be the best mother she can be.
The only thing this guy is morally obligated to do is make sure not to come between the mom and the kids or compromise her ability to be the best mother she can be.
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Quote:
Originally Posted by beiyang
I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.
Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
Are you kidding us, or is this just wishful thinking on your part? Why in the world would anyone think he is obligated? She gives up her time and attention for a reason, because he is willing to spend some money on her and take her places she could not afford to go on her own. I don't know if you are a male or a female, I can only hope you are a woman because I don't think any man would have such a thought. This is about the worse entitlement attitude I have ever heard from a woman. If I were still dating and a woman even hinted such a thing I would drop her so fast her head would spin. I don't think you are going to find any men that agree with this insane idea. If you actually feel this way, it would be best if you didn't mention it to any one dating you. Your children and the cost of raising them is your responsibility and the responsibility of the father, no one else's. What if you were dating a guy that had two kids, would you help support them? There is a vast difference in supporting a woman and helping the woman you are dating with expenses once in a while. I have nothing against paying the kids way if they are included in a date, but paying day to day expenses is crazy.
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 03-05-2012 at 08:03 PM..
No I can handle it myself. If he even asked to help it would be insulting to me as a parent. Down the road if we married maybe, I would never want him to throw back at me (Well I bought YOUR kid this and that!) It's a rough situation. Many do adopt the wife's child. I commend the OP for being nice, however it takes a special individual to do this.
There's no need for a guy to help out a woman financially with her kids.
The government is going to get right on that pretty soon by supplying free around the clock baby sitting service for single mothers. It will go well with the free birth control with no co-pays that women already enjoy.
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
