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My bad. Most of my friends/family (in mid to late 20's) are in school (grad school) and are either single or in LTR/married and none of them have children. Don't find it common at all.
My bad. Most of my friends/family (in mind to late 20's) are in school (grad school) and are wither single or in LTR/married and none of them have children. Don't find it common at all.
It's very self centered to think just because it doesn't happen in your environment it isn't common. there is nothing unusual about the OP's daughter situation; just read the paper and you will see plenty of articles describing women like her. I honestly can't believe anybody would think this is unusual or unhead of, unless you're somebody who is just very sheltered.
The guy lied. How does this make him a good guy? He is a leech and a user. He will be gone when something better comes along.
She begged him to move in and incentivized him by telling him he would never have to pay for anything, change a diaper or babysit. She is paying him to have sex with her, basically. How can you, as a father, condone that?
Tell her to knock it off, have some self respect and get this loser away from your grandkids. That is the advice you should be giving to your daughter. Not enabling her by finding excuses for this rotten-to-the-core deadbeat she has latched onto.
I don't see it as lying. In his mind he does not have enough money. Part of his budget has always included his walking around money. Plus he has a credit card that he charges on and makes large payments on every month. So whenever he has extra money he puts it towards his credit card. But he also buys stuff with it. So whatever extra money has he spends. To him he doesn't have any money.
I had a female friend move in with me many years ago after I was divorced and living alone. She was going through a divorce and didn't have a lot of money. I asked her how much she thought she could afford. It was not much at all. Well after a little while I sat down with her and we wrote down what her bills where and what her income was. And I convinced her that she could afford to pay me a more reasonable amount for rent. She had to cut back in other areas but was able to do it. She was not comfortable without that extra money as a fallback. I think that's where he's at.
I suppose it depends on the people you know. The people I know would be mortified to be in this category. Not to mention the fact that their parents would disown them. LOL
Right, whether he can afford it or not, it's not up to you or her to judge. It's solely at his own discretion. Even he has $100,000 a month leftover, it is still up to him to decide whether he can afford his share of the bill or not.
I do not understand how you cannot see this. The point that he can afford it or not is irrelevant. Frankly, I would just ask him if I were you daughter. Please make sure you do not get involved. When I ask, I would have an attitude of "either way is OK with me" because I was the one who asked him NOT to pay at the first place and now I am going to eat my words.
Integrity, integrity and integrity. I thought that's one thing you tried to teach your daughter.
Keep in mind, once he pays 1/4 of the bill, he has no obligation whatsoever to spend a second with her kids. If she asks him to watch the kids, she should offer babysitting fee.
It's shocking to me that you have this opinion. It's so bizarre I'm wondering if you are just stating it for shock value and to see people's reactions.
They are a couple. So that fact that he can afford it is painfully relevant. Couples are supposed to work together on things. He's not some boarder she took in off the street.
And once again she did not "beg" him to move in. They had been basically living together before they split up (he still was renting a room at a friends house but he spent all his time at my daughter's apartment). He begged her to take him back, telling her the he loved her and had made a mistake by leaving in the first place. Then he told her that he was going to move most of his stuff back, and she said that if he was going to do that then he needed to just move in so it could be their place. He then told her that he could not afford to pay her any money and she said that was o.k., not knowing that he actually could.
I suppose it depends on the people you know. The people I know would be mortified to be in this category. Not to mention the fact that their parents would disown them. LOL
20yrsinBranson
that's nice to know. But there are a lot of people in the OP's situation and they are not at all concerned what you or your relatives think.
To whoever wrote me the message that i must live in a poor area where people don't value education can kiss my a$$. You don't have to live in a poor area to know that single parenthood is not uncommon.
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