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I'm not sure if this is the right place, so I'm sorry if it isn't.
My mother recently passed a month ago and I'm now living with my elderly father. My mother was 67 with multiple illnesses and my father is 72 just getting over colon cancer. I am taking care of his finances and such. I'm 26 years old so I guess you could say they had me a little late. They were great parents and I wouldn't change a thing.
A couple of my aunts have been cleaning up the house recently and they found a lot of our old photo albums. I have been going through them and I cannot help but get emotional. The past was such a happier place. The quality of life was so much better. Sometimes, I honestly don't know what I'm living for now. When my father passes, what then? I have friends that I care about but I just don't know. I just wish sometimes I could go back in time just to relive them and prolong the future.
I have a good new job I'm starting monday and I'm not even looking forward to it even though it's a big step up from my current job. Better pay and an awesome benefit package. I should be happy about this, but I'm not.
I have had multiple family members pass in the last 5 years and I just feel like my family is just dying off. I just don't feel like life is going to get any better.
I just don't know how to feel about certain things anymore. I just feel so lost sometimes.
I'm sorry to hear this. My father passed away after declining health. My mother is still alive. When she passes, only one sibling remains. I have relatives on the other coast that I only know through Christmas cards, but all my relatives that I'm very close to are overseas.
Yeah, the past was better. I remember all the road trips I took as a kid and a teenager with my healthy and combative (with me, that is) parents.
I'm sorry to hear this. My father passed away after declining health. My mother is still alive. When she passes, only one sibling remains. I have relatives on the other coast that I only know through Christmas cards, but all my relatives that I'm very close to are overseas.
Yeah, the past was better. I remember all the road trips I took as a kid and a teenager with my healthy and combative (with me, that is) parents.
Sorry about your father. I remember all the vacations me and my parents took as well. Great times.
No, OP I don't feel this way yet, but I know the day will come when my parents are gone and I will be pretty much alone.
You are grieving for your loss and I am sorry you have to go through this at such a young age. I am sure it's overwhelming right now. Enjoy the time with your father. Right now your memories of your mother are painful, but in time it will get better...I hope.
I'm not sure if this is the right place, so I'm sorry if it isn't.
My mother recently passed a month ago and I'm now living with my elderly father. My mother was 67 with multiple illnesses and my father is 72 just getting over colon cancer. I am taking care of his finances and such. I'm 26 years old so I guess you could say they had me a little late. They were great parents and I wouldn't change a thing.
A couple of my aunts have been cleaning up the house recently and they found a lot of our old photo albums. I have been going through them and I cannot help but get emotional. The past was such a happier place. The quality of life was so much better. Sometimes, I honestly don't know what I'm living for now. When my father passes, what then? I have friends that I care about but I just don't know. I just wish sometimes I could go back in time just to relive them and prolong the future.
I have a good new job I'm starting monday and I'm not even looking forward to it even though it's a big step up from my current job. Better pay and an
awesome benefit package. I should be happy about this, but I'm not.
I have had multiple family members pass in the last 5 years and I just feel like my family is just dying off. I just don't feel like life is going to get any better.
I just don't know how to feel about certain things anymore. I just feel so lost sometimes.
Has anyone felt this way?
Yes, I have felt similar and in very recent times. My dad died last fall and I've felt a lot of different things in that time. His father/my grandfather is also dying and isn't expected to live another year. Same medical issue as my dad (same heart condition worsened by alcoholism).
I don't have a ton of advice but I do know you can't let your own health slide in the meantime. I made that mistake. I wasn't making good food choices for a time and got very anemic, not really recognizing the symptoms as my mind was on a lot of other things. I started sleeping 16 hours at a stretch and missing a LOT of work. My depression/grief also felt much worse. Once I started eating better again and taking iron supplements, my physical health and state of mind improved greatly. Of course, I'm still grieving but I can live my life and function without hibernating or feeling lethargic all the time.
So make sure to take care of yourself and try to do some of the things you enjoy.
I think it's normal in this situation to want to go back to happier times of the past. Those times felt a lot better than grieving does. You may find you feel one way on one day, totally different the next. Or week, or every couple weeks....grief is different for everyone. My dad died in October and I'm think from then to just past the holidays, I was mostly just numb and in shock. January I was all over the map but mostly ok. February was the worst yet, by far. Since my health has been getting back on track, March has been pretty good.
My condolences to you on your mother's death and I hope you start feeling better soon.
I'm not sure if this is the right place, so I'm sorry if it isn't.
My mother recently passed a month ago and I'm now living with my elderly father. My mother was 67 with multiple illnesses and my father is 72 just getting over colon cancer. I am taking care of his finances and such. I'm 26 years old so I guess you could say they had me a little late. They were great parents and I wouldn't change a thing.
A couple of my aunts have been cleaning up the house recently and they found a lot of our old photo albums. I have been going through them and I cannot help but get emotional. The past was such a happier place. The quality of life was so much better. Sometimes, I honestly don't know what I'm living for now. When my father passes, what then? I have friends that I care about but I just don't know. I just wish sometimes I could go back in time just to relive them and prolong the future.
I have a good new job I'm starting monday and I'm not even looking forward to it even though it's a big step up from my current job. Better pay and an awesome benefit package. I should be happy about this, but I'm not.
I have had multiple family members pass in the last 5 years and I just feel like my family is just dying off. I just don't feel like life is going to get any better.
I just don't know how to feel about certain things anymore. I just feel so lost sometimes.
Has anyone felt this way?
You sound like an excellent human being. The world needs people like yourself in a very needy way. If you retain and hold on to your special ability in appreciation, it can do nothing but bring good will, example and hope to many. Appreciation is by far one of the most important qualities an individual can have.
I hope you have good outcome with your new job, the lack of real enthusiasm is understood. Theres alot of decent people in this world and I believe you are one of them. Part of being honest, sincere and able to face the inner feelings head on, is letting them just be what they are....don't fight them and have confidence that your doing what you always do....the best you can.
I think the new job circumstances sound pretty good..in honesty you've picked me up a little because we all need to see how much courage is possible in all these things which life can unfold. Many may say time will heal but truly the healing is largely in others who may cross ones path...allowing the being a genuine meaning... rich in attribute.....please continue to be yourself and all the best.
Last edited by stargazzer; 03-06-2012 at 08:17 PM..
Treasure those old photographs and make copies for other family members. My mother went through different stages of grief after Dad passed away. Unfortunatey, when she got to the 'anger' stage of grief, she destroyed all the old photographs. So, please....
I lost my dad when I was 19, my mom when I was 29, and my oldest sister when I was 33. I'm 35 now. It gets better. It's going to hurt for a long time, but it does get better. You will come to accept loss as a part of life and become a stronger person.
I've been down this road myself. You are still young, and it is clear that you value family and sharing fond memories. Now is the time to live in accordance with your values and start forming new friendships and new memories. Not always easy to make new friends as you get older, but it seems it would be worth the effort.
One thing you need to remember while reminiscing over good times and fond memories is that we sometimes tend to forget the bad times too. It's easy to fall into that trap. I can think back to happier simpler times, but if I take a moment to reflect I can also recall the not so good times as well. As much as I enjoy looking through old photos, they sometimes sadden me. I try to focus on the present best I can and make an effort to get out and do the things I enjoy so life doesn't pass me by while looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm not sure if this is the right place, so I'm sorry if it isn't.
My mother recently passed a month ago and I'm now living with my elderly father. My mother was 67 with multiple illnesses and my father is 72 just getting over colon cancer. I am taking care of his finances and such. I'm 26 years old so I guess you could say they had me a little late. They were great parents and I wouldn't change a thing.
A couple of my aunts have been cleaning up the house recently and they found a lot of our old photo albums. I have been going through them and I cannot help but get emotional. The past was such a happier place. The quality of life was so much better. Sometimes, I honestly don't know what I'm living for now. When my father passes, what then? I have friends that I care about but I just don't know. I just wish sometimes I could go back in time just to relive them and prolong the future.
I have a good new job I'm starting monday and I'm not even looking forward to it even though it's a big step up from my current job. Better pay and an awesome benefit package. I should be happy about this, but I'm not.
I have had multiple family members pass in the last 5 years and I just feel like my family is just dying off. I just don't feel like life is going to get any better.
I just don't know how to feel about certain things anymore. I just feel so lost sometimes.
Has anyone felt this way?
OP you are feeling this way because you are depressed. This is normal. You just lost your mom. I feel for you. Please be kind to yourself and take it easy.
You are a strong, strong person. A lot of people don't know how to cope with death without sedatives or something else. God bless you.
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