Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I tend to come off as reserved around people I don't know, and also around guys that I like because I'm actually shy and tense up around them.
There have been guys who have been interested in me, but the more invested I get in them, the more tense/nervous I get, so then I think I start to act reserved and appear unfriendly and cold.
For example, one guy I went to lunch with him and his friends (we had hit it off well the day/night before). He wanted to go outside just the two of us to talk and hang out, but I expressed that we should stay with his friends instead since he hadn't seen them in awhile. I also just ended up talking and walking with his other friends instead of him most of the time, because I felt awkward and tense around him.
He had been pretty affectionate before but I haven't heard from him since, not sure what is going on.
I can see how this can come off like I'm not interested in him, or was more interested in talking to the other guy... Is this enough to make the guy lose interest or get offended? Or if a guy likes a girl enough, this won't make him dislike her?
I tend to come off as reserved around people I don't know, and also around guys that I like because I'm actually shy and tense up around them.
There have been guys who have been interested in me, but the more invested I get in them, the more tense/nervous I get, so then I think I start to act reserved and appear unfriendly and cold.
For example, one guy I went to lunch with him and his friends (we had hit it off well the day/night before). He wanted to go outside just the two of us to talk and hang out, but I expressed that we should stay with his friends instead since he hadn't seen them in awhile. I also just ended up talking and walking with his other friends instead of him most of the time, because I felt awkward and tense around him.
He had been pretty affectionate before but I haven't heard from him since, not sure what is going on.
I can see how this can come off like I'm not interested in him, or was more interested in talking to the other guy... Is this enough to make the guy lose interest or get offended? Or if a guy likes a girl enough, this won't make him dislike her?
TIA
If you come across as not interested, the guy will think your not interested.
Yes, but will the guy stop being interested? Or, if I initiate later and show interest will I get shut down, or will a guy give a girl more chances if he likes her?
Yes, but will the guy stop being interested? Or, if I initiate later and show interest will I get shut down, or will a guy give a girl more chances if he likes her?
Depends on the guy. I would give more chances, simply because I'm sort of like this myself, just not as bad. It takes me a little bit to get comfortable around new people.
Your best bet would have been to just go out and talk to him one-on-one. I personally find it more difficult when more people are around, trying to associate with us. Eventually you would loosen up around him.
Be happy you're a girl, lol. Shy guys have it rough.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
Reputation: 11862
It depends. Like the above poster I too can come across as shy and I don't project my interest strongly at first (more like keep my emotions from the boiling over) but there has to be a point where you make known your interest, shy or not. If it feels like squeezing blood from a stone, or cents from a scrooge (to coin a phrase), why would any guy put in so much effort unless he was getting anywhere? He wants a human being who is responsive not a statue.
OP, I am this way also. I am quiet in person until i get to know someone. I have been told by female friends that they thought I didn't like them at first. I now tell guys that I am very quiet at first and a little shy until I know someone better. That seems to help them understand.
I'm afraid there's no simple formula to answer your question.
We all like different things, as you can probably tell from some of the threads on the forum.
Hard to say from just a few lines in a post, but it sounds like he thinks you're not interested.
Stay shy if you wish, but I think you'll have to find a way to communicate your interest somehow.
Men have told me that they thought I was "cold". Because I am also very reserved, and not a "huggy" person. But, I have found, just asking men to talk about themselves makes them think you are pretty interesting. "Who is your favorite team?", "Where do you like to eat Pizza?"...
Men have told me that they thought I was "cold". Because I am also very reserved, and not a "huggy" person. But, I have found, just asking men to talk about themselves makes them think you are pretty interesting. "Who is your favorite team?", "Where do you like to eat Pizza?"...
Yes, yes, yes! Food and sports, two great man topics!
If a guy likes a girl... then there it is, he's going to go for it at some point.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
