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No judgement, all of this happens in places with a rich density of hillbillies and rouges-cous.
Hmm... Well, I don't live in an area with many hillbillies or rednecks. I live in a large city on the west coast and the hillbillies you refer to don't enjoy the city much. But many thanks for offering that one up, sure does make a lot of sense .
You should probably go outside and get a breath of fresh air .
You could have described similar problems I have with one of my very old friends. She was OK until her divorce, then something inside of her seemed to snap, and now she makes some VERY unhealthy choices — along the lines of your friend, only frankly, to the power of five at the least.
After listening to the drama-drama-drama, I finally sat her down and let her know that I was concerned about her well-being due to the types of men she was letting into her life, quite intimately. And I played the "Super Auntie" card (concerned about how this will affect her kids). After that, I dropped it.
But ... our friendship did cool off a tad after I aired these concerns. Be prepared ... anything that you could tell your friend may make her back off, too. Which might be a good thing. For me, it worked out both good and bad. Good because I no longer worry about her and her kids incessantly. Bad, because I don't ever seeing us being as close as we were.
A friendship should be mutually beneficial to both parties. What do you get out of this friendships besides getting to play therapist to her problems for free? Problems SHE creates herself no less.
I have a friend I've known for about three years or so. When I met her she was coming out of a two-year relationship with a guy; he left her for someone else. In that two years' time they racked up $17K in debt on her credit cards. He was supposed to make payments to her but, of course, never did. She is now in a credit/debt counseling program and despite making good money, she is always broke.
Since then I have seen her let a guy she knew from high school move in with her (platonic) after he was released from prison...that didn't work out. She also almost let a co-worker of hers move into her house. The co-worker's teenaged son (14) has big issues, is currently a suspect in an arson involving a neighbor's home.
Her recent dilemma, she is engaged to someone she's known for almost two months . He and his three small children (+ a dog) moved into her home after she and the guy dated a week. He is unemployed, has a home in foreclosure with his very recent ex-wife (they've been divorced less than 2 weeks), in the middle of a bankruptcy, and recently had to return a car to the dealership because he couldn't make the payments any longer. One of his kids has quite a few behavior problems.
My friend, we used to work together and get together for lunch here and there, never more than that (level of drama in her life is a bit much for me). However, more and more our conversations involve these ridiculous situations she gets herself into. Prior to meeting this guy it seemed she was really getting her life together, accomplishing things she had always wanted to do, etc.
Then she meets this guy in the middle of his divorce (his wife cheated) while he was couch surfing at friends' houses. Just about all of his unemployment income goes to his now ex for child support. He told my friend if he could get his kids full-time, he'd still be willing to pay his ex child support to avoid court . As it is, he has his kids far more often than their mom does.
She thinks this guy is her Prince Charming and I think his situation is a train wreck. I know people are more than money or a credit score but this guy's got serious baggage, IMO. The more I hear about the decisions she makes, the
less interested I am in spending time with her. Am I just cynical or too judgmental?
I don’t think you are being either, I got exhausted jut reading it.
Not to be mean but your friend sounds a little codependent and
Reminds me a lot of my friend and her mother whom I have posted about on this forum in the past.
I love my friend dearly since I have known her most of my life and I care for her mother as well but I came to the realization that some people thrive on drama and chaos.
That believe it or not they need this in their lives in order for them to feel needed.
This is not to say that your friend is not a good person because she seems very empathetic and giving however she seems to have poor boundaries she also seems very impulsive and this combination is no bueno,
What I found effective with my friend is to ask her how all of this made her feel?
She would answer with excuses instead of how overwhelmed she felt, like, “ I know he loves me, he just makes bad choices” “ He is planning to get help, he applied to several jobs” But was very evasive on making a decision that she knew she needed to because she is afraid of being alone. ‘
I finally told her after months of being a sounding board “Look, you know I love you and I would never go out of my to hurt you however I can see that this is taking a toll on you, this is a huge issue one that you cannot fix and you are going to end up getting hurt” I recommend you thinking long and hard at what you are getting out of this and start making moves towards getting your life back” As far as my listening to you? It Is hard for me to keep listening to you since I get frustrated and angry so if you want to hang out? This is fine, we can have fun and talk about other things but I am done hearing on this issue.”
It took her a year and getting takn to the cleaners, doing reconciliation with banks and creditors, here we are three years later and she is still paying on “his” debt..
However she is rid of him since 3 years ago and Is rebuilding her life.
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I live in a large city on the west coast and the hillbillies you refer to don't enjoy the city much. But many thanks for offering that one up, sure does make a lot of sense 
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. He and his three small children (+ a dog) moved into her home after she and the guy dated a week. He is unemployed, has a home in foreclosure with his very recent ex-wife (they've been divorced less than 2 weeks), in the middle of a bankruptcy, and recently had to return a car to the dealership because he couldn't make the payments any longer. One of his kids has quite a few behavior problems. 
