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That's a good question. It could as easily have been written by a woman.
I am 40 years old, so I wasn't alive during the just past wartime era--is that when this is from?--but I do a lot of these things!!! I feel like a right dork. I was in fact raised to be independent and to have a career and earn an income. Which I did, for 18 years (and am home now for the past two years due to our son having special needs). But ya know what's funny? I have always done most of these things (minus the smiling, probably...I mean please...all that plus smiling? Throw me a few Xanax first and then maybe you'll get a lobotomized grin)...even while I was working. I was of the unfortunate in-between generation when we were told to have careers...PLUS deal with every last household issue. Boy. We really sc r * wed ourselves!
I find the younger generation to be more self-forgiving in this area. Just as few slobby chicks as dudes. I think I was born a couple decades too early. LOL...
The saddest part to me is not that we did, and many still do, these things (the dinner, cleaning the children, hush-hushing everything so "Daddy can relax"). It's that each and every one of the items listed here, and many of the things we do every single day without even thinking about them, put everyone before ourselves. The children; the husband. And then IF there's anything left (usually there isn't)...you, the woman.
This reinforces my run-away-from-home-when-I'm-57 plan.
ETA: Oh. D'oh! In the midst of all that I totally forgot to explain how all that ties into Rance's question. What I was trying to get across is that yes, it could have been a woman who wrote the article, because we tend to internalize things and play them over and over again even if we don't need to! We tend to keep *ourselves* "in line" as much as feel we're being asked to get in line; sometimes more so. If that makes sense. Nobody's holding a gun to my head telling me I'd better clean the house...what's the worst that would happen? The house would fall down? Probably not. But it's way internalized, and I myself bring it to my relationships! I know this because I'm a thousand times pickier about the state of the house, the cleanliness of the children, etc. than any man I've ever been with.
This internalizing thing holds true for both women and men and in a variety of situations, of course, but I was just adding to Rance's comment regarding this particular article.
My parents worked seperate shifts and barely saw eachother, us kids sort of...fended for oursleves, the house was ok, not a mess, and I think I do just fine now.
The question I have, is if the role was reversed, would the husband do those things to please his wife?
Maybe, in some instances, but I am thinking, not, in the case of how it was back then.
We can laugh all we want....however, there is valuable information in that article we can all learn from. I'm not into the slavery of women; but if a women does NOT have to work outside of the home and is able to make her family/children/home her job...then it is imperative she take responsiblity for doing a good job and not spend all day at the mall and bring home fast-food for dinner.
Oh, I can just hear all the comments now....
But, before anyone gets their feathers ruffled...think about how important it really is for either parent to take excellent care of their children, and how important it is to teach them, guide them, be good role models. How important it is for men and women to treat each other well and show how much they care. How important it is to have harmony in our homes, to have a family nucleus, to sit down together and share a family meal...a healthy family meal, not one from a fast food joint. To spend quality time together actually talking with each other...not everyone staring at a television, or in separate rooms playing on the computer, or listening to ipods....I am referring to speaking and looking at each other, listening to each other - - truly getting to know each other. Not running around town to take this kid or that kid to whatever sporting event and then getting home at 8 o'clock at night..driving thru Mickey D's, no quality time, kids getting to bed whenever - both kids and parents not getting enough sleep...kids going to school half awake, sitting in class yawning. Everyone at home grumpy due to lack of sleep. No schedule, no structure.
Sure, the article is overdone on the "stepford wife" bit...but again, we can read between the lines and see the value of being good parents and good partners (no matter which parent is at home, and which parent goes out to earn the bread).
I work with many women who are not able, or choose not to stay at home. Not one of them is truly happy with her situation. They come to work exhausted, they are grumpy, they spend most of the day yawning. They are not thrilled with the way things are. None of them jump for joy because they have to hit the road every morning, work all day then head for home and pick up the kids and take them wherever...etc., etc., etc. Maybe I just work with the wrong bunch of women??? There must be some who truly enjoy that chaos.
Read some of the posts about why there are so many women at work who are bitchy and mean to each other....did anyone ever think that maybe these women are very unhappy with having to be at the salt mines all day and then having to go home to a second job?
I was talking to my brother on the phone yesterday when he said "I'll call you back its Samantha on the other line." (his wife)
He calls me back and said boy is she miserable. I said what happened?? He wakes up at 4 am to work construction, is usually woking until 5 pm or sometimes even nigh shift. Well it turns out this particular morning he left crumbs on the counter which he says never happens. He always cleans up after himself. She was bitching about the crumbs (he swears it must have been very few). His response "sweetie you have a great job, raising our three beautiful children and are awesome at it BUT the reason you get to have this wonderful job is because I work my ass off over sixty hours a week. So if while I was rushing out of the house trying to get to work on time while you were sleeping and left crumbs on the counter...get over it. Love you dear."
I would have loved to see the face on the other end of the receiver. My brother usually keeps quite about things like this.
If one spouse works, and the other does not, that's the way it SHOULD be. Regardless of if it's the man or woman.
I was very sick for a month and stayed home. After that time my wife kept telling everyone " I need to keep him at home". She came home every day to a clean house, fresh laundry and a hot dinner. There is no shame in this!
If one spouse works, and the other does not, that's the way it SHOULD be. Regardless of if it's the man or woman.
I was very sick for a month and stayed home. After that time my wife kept telling everyone " I need to keep him at home". She came home every day to a clean house, fresh laundry and a hot dinner. There is no shame in this!
I was the one to stay at home and did my best to keep things going smooth. When every one in the house, wife and 3 step children, were all down sick for a couple weeks I worked my ass off taking care of them. Then when I came down with it after they were all over it and back to normal I didn't get any care from them. With laryngitis and the flu I asked the wife for some soup. She went and got a can of soup and threw it at me and said "here's your f---ing soup and stormed off. Needless to say really, but I left that mess and divorced her and she cant figure out why I left.
I was the one to stay at home and did my best to keep things going smooth. When every one in the house, wife and 3 step children, were all down sick for a couple weeks I worked my ass off taking care of them. Then when I came down with it after they were all over it and back to normal I didn't get any care from them. With laryngitis and the flu I asked the wife for some soup. She went and got a can of soup and threw it at me and said "here's your f---ing soup and stormed off. Needless to say really, but I left that mess and divorced her and she cant figure out why I left.
Sorry to hear that. That was just plain mean on her part.
But I think the majority of men I have met do not want a woman they would have to support. I have a good job, and it surprises me how guarded men are about their money. They think every woman wants their money.
I was talking to my brother on the phone yesterday when he said "I'll call you back its Samantha on the other line." (his wife)
He calls me back and said boy is she miserable. I said what happened?? He wakes up at 4 am to work construction, is usually woking until 5 pm or sometimes even nigh shift. Well it turns out this particular morning he left crumbs on the counter which he says never happens. He always cleans up after himself. She was bitching about the crumbs (he swears it must have been very few). His response "sweetie you have a great job, raising our three beautiful children and are awesome at it BUT the reason you get to have this wonderful job is because I work my ass off over sixty hours a week. So if while I was rushing out of the house trying to get to work on time while you were sleeping and left crumbs on the counter...get over it. Love you dear."
I would have loved to see the face on the other end of the receiver. My brother usually keeps quite about things like this.
I said "GOOD FOR YOU."
But those are the type of women men marry. Time and time again they marry that type.
They think working for Mary Kay or Tupperware is a career, and the only reason they can do this is because someone is supporting them.
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