How long do you date a chick before you start telling her how to dress? (dating, woman)

[xxbabeechick]

Have been seeing this guy that lives in Pennsylvania for several months, we're making a go of it, but not jumping into exclusivity (I'm dating others).

Main reason I love hanging out with him is that we both have a blast. I honestly don't see long term dating potential, and his life is complicated with his kids and stuff, but we like going out and doing the same things and we literally have a ball when we have a night out together.

But like, third time we hung out, he commented that next time he wanted me to dress more modestly. Now people who hang out with me know me, I change my look like people change their underwear. I'll go on a leggings kick that all I'll wear is leggings, I'll go on a jeans kick, I'll go on a dresses kick. I was on a short skirt kick when out with him. For some reason he doesn't mind (and actually enjoys) cleavage, but he doesn't like my legs to be exposed. Talk about weird.

He phrased it in the way that he wanted "his woman" to dress. Well, I'm not your woman, so I'm glad we cleared that up. I was smiling but underneath my blood was boiling.

The point is, we're not even to that point yet that he should be asking me to modify the way I dress. I've only modified my way of dress for one person, and that's when I actually started living with him.

I hate when dudes do stuff like this. I'm a non-confrontational person who doesn't like to make an apparent big deal out of anything, but I get really annoyed...

[North Beach Person]

Run away now, he's trying to assert ownership. What's next? You're a grownup and have sense so you know how to address for occasions.

The only thing might be "I really like you in _____________" or "That___________ is really nice on you".

But then again I'm nearly 58 and may be descending into old-fashionedness.

[Red On The Noodle]

The last man that told me how to dress was my father and I was under 18

[Chowhound]

Just tell him it's how you roll. If he doesn't like it, well, you know what to do.

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by North Beach Person

Run away now, he's trying to assert ownership. What's next? You're a grownup and have sense so you know how to address for occasions.

The only thing might be "I really like you in _____________" or "That___________ is really nice on you".

But then again I'm nearly 58 and may be descending into old-fashionedness.

I agree with North Beach, now that he is developing feelings and investing more of his attention and devotion into you, he doesn't like the idea of you dressing sexy and drawing the attention of other men. Since you have always dressed this way and he was perfectly happy with it while trying to impress the panties off you, now that he wants more than just a casual fling he wants to wart making wardrobe changes, which is just the beginning.

Either you explain to him that this is the way you dress and he can take it or leave it, or expect more "constructive criticism" from him at will ultimately escalate into control freak status.

[Slartibarfast]

I don't give an opinion on how a woman dresses unless asked. Fear keeps my mouth shut.

[PurePugx3]

A guy can state his preferences all day long but if it isn't what I want to do, he can hit the road. He sounds like the type of person who wants to mold you into whatever type of person he wants, I'd dump him. One day it's your clothes, next day it's the type of job you have (or whatever). Life's too short for control freaks.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by xxbabeechick

For some reason he doesn't mind (and actually enjoys) cleavage, but he doesn't like my legs to be exposed[/b].

The rule of thumb is showing one or the other. Showing both at the same time (if you do that) gives trashy vibes. Of course, if he doesn't want to be with such a woman, he should just walk away instead of trying to modify her.

[Rakin]

Originally Posted by Slartibarfast

I don't give an opinion on how a woman dresses unless asked. Fear keeps my mouth shut.

Smart man. I only tell them how I like them to Un-dress

[xxbabeechick]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

The rule of thumb is showing one or the other. Showing both at the same time (if you do that) gives trashy vibes.

I usually do one or the other (or none), but sometimes I've done both. Depends where I'm going. I don't like to stick out wherever I am, and I'm already sticking out in the bulk of places he takes me since I'm always the only black person where we go.