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Unread 03-12-2012, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Allergy Hell
3,662 posts, read 3,034,330 times
Reputation: 5251
Quote:
Originally Posted by quenelle View Post
What a load of BS! Women who can afford to stay home (as I did) are usually far more interesting as they have been doing things, not just stuck in an office. I was able to visit museums and go to concerts and always had something to discuss with my husband. I also had very many hobbies which my husband was interested in. He appreciated coming home to contented children (and wife), a clean home and a well cooked meal on the table.
Careful, you are going to blow our boring, unexcitable, humorless, drone cover

 
Unread 03-12-2012, 05:35 PM
 
3,115 posts, read 4,415,285 times
Reputation: 2146
I will allow my wife to do whatever she wants in terms of personal, professional pursuits. This is a non-issue.
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 05:36 PM
 
Location: NC
13,270 posts, read 6,189,617 times
Reputation: 9957
I stay at home and my husband goes to work everyday.

We have 4 children that are in school (youngest is in 1st grade, oldest is in 7th).

My husband makes enough money to support us, live in a comfortable home, take vacations often, and have money left over for investing, 401K and whatever else we need. We are not scraping by.

I was a teacher but won't go back into teaching. They pay peanuts down here and it would cause more issues with me working than not. My 2 older children play travel sports and the two youngers play sports as well. I get chores and errands done while they are in school and in the evenings I run them every which way, help them with their homework and get dinner going.

My husband travels for work often enough that it would be a huge issue if I worked a regular 9-5 job as well. There is just no way we could swing it because someone HAS to be here to juggle all their schedules. We tried it for 2 yrs and it was a total disaster...he resented me because he had to leave work early to get kids or stay home when they were sick, I resented him for the same reasons, the kids were miserable and even though we had a cleaning lady that came once a week for a deep clean, I spent a lot of my free time cleaning, doing laundry..etc. There was no leisure time for anyone in this family.

He has the time to pursue his own interests because he's not a slave to the kids and the chores when he comes home from work, and I have my time in the daytime to pursue my interests.

This is what works for our family but I can see how it may not work for others. I'm looking at going back to school for nursing, first because I would LOVE to be a nurse, second because I might be able to find a schedule that works for me without interfering with my kids and his travel schedule too much and finally, when they kids are a bit more grown, I'll be bored to death if I continue to stay home.
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,462 posts, read 4,555,116 times
Reputation: 3465
I just asked my husband. His response was, "Which way would you be happier?" I said, equal happiness, would you rather have the extra income, or a clean house and good dinner on the table each night? "Oh, I don't care about that stuff--it takes 10 minutes to eat!"

Guess it's a good thing I want to work
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
6,338 posts, read 7,420,823 times
Reputation: 8083
Quote:
Originally Posted by loose cannon View Post
I will allow my wife to do whatever she wants in terms of personal, professional pursuits. This is a non-issue.
You'll "allow" it?
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,243 posts, read 9,592,442 times
Reputation: 9953
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfcambridge View Post
All I'm saying is that higher education is not wasted on people who leave the work force for a period of time. If you can complete a graduate degree in ANY field, it says a lot about you.... your determination, your dedication, your goals......and you are getting training that few people have, and it will have an impact on your children that is immeasurable. And it will even mean something to a future employer 20 years from now. OF COURSE, you cannot complete for the same jobs you did 20 years ago, but you will have more going for you nonetheless.

Of course, in my field/career tract, I will be lost if I take off time now to have kids. That's why I "need a stay-at-home wife".

Know any guys who are interesting, well educated, hopefully attractive to me, good with kids who want to be a a stay-at-home wife?

Didn't think so.... Most guys aren't looking for a wife like me either.
I know a few guys that would fit that description that think or thought they wanted to be a stay at home dad. I could use a "stay at home wife as well". I cant even find a boring, uneducated, average joe that wants to be a productive stay at home.
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 06:24 PM
 
8,004 posts, read 3,004,191 times
Reputation: 9457
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aganusn View Post
No, I wasn't born in the 20s. I'm aware there are still men like this, though, and I don't care to associate with them.

Edit: Since someone may have a problem with me deciding not to associate with sexists: I can't respect a person who thinks someone shouldn't do what they want just because of the way they were born. It's wrong to assume someone should assume a role whether they want to or not in this context.

What if she wants to raise her kids? What if they BOTH want that?
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
3,883 posts, read 4,344,333 times
Reputation: 3342
Smile An observation

I'm in my 50's and my children are now in their 20's.

Looking at many people I know, the ones that did the following seem the happiest today -

After the couple got married, they saved and lived on one income even though both were working.

During this time, they usually bought their home and planned for the future.

After having children, it was the wife who usually stayed home. (I was the only one I knew who worked) - I used to take a few hours off each Thursday to go a play group - I remember as I turned the corner, my son would be in the yard and get so excited when he saw me. That made my day. I did envy these women though.

After the children entered elementary and some waited till later, some of the moms would work part time.

I would say by looking at these couples today, most are still married, most still live in the same home they bought way back when and most of their children are now married and having children of their own.

They seem happy. They made a statement that family mattered and it made a difference in their lives.

(I actually loved it when I grew up that my mom was there when I came home).
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 07:44 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
822 posts, read 446,488 times
Reputation: 1242
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
what about yourself
What about me? I'm not gay, so this question is irrelevant.
 
Unread 03-12-2012, 08:17 PM
 
8,205 posts, read 9,997,684 times
Reputation: 5852
Quote:
Originally Posted by quenelle View Post
What a load of BS! Women who can afford to stay home (as I did) are usually far more interesting as they have been doing things, not just stuck in an office. I was able to visit museums and go to concerts and always had something to discuss with my husband. I also had very many hobbies which my husband was interested in. He appreciated coming home to contented children (and wife), a clean home and a well cooked meal on the table.
If I lived on another planet, I might be inclined to agree with you. But, I don't and I don't. I spend a lot of time out and about and I know who I see at museums and concerts and who I see at star bucks and the mall. So save your claim for someone who will buy it.
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