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Unread 03-13-2012, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
14,523 posts, read 6,458,569 times
Reputation: 14220
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
So after my hubs told me he'd prefer me to work, not only would he not want me to stay home but if I made enough money, he'd prefer to be the one to stay home with the kids!

My friend stayed home with their daughter while his wife worked and he loved it. He and his daughter are super close and he loved getting to take care of her. His wife makes a ton of money.

 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Texas
25,973 posts, read 19,061,201 times
Reputation: 29436
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfcambridge View Post
Of course, in my field/career tract, I will be lost if I take off time now to have kids. That's why I "need a stay-at-home wife".

Know any guys who are interesting, well educated, hopefully attractive to me, good with kids who want to be a a stay-at-home wife?

Didn't think so.... Most guys aren't looking for a wife like me either.
Lol...yes, I do know a handsome, fit, educated househusband...and yes, I do know plenty of men married to verrrry successful women.
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,710 posts, read 3,319,604 times
Reputation: 4592
I should also mention a big con for my husband agreeing to let me stay home with the kids is that he's known 4-5 other couples that did this in which the wife began cheating and sleeping around.

Not saying this to challenge anything. Just thought it was interesting. Whatever!
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Texas
25,973 posts, read 19,061,201 times
Reputation: 29436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
I should also mention a big con for my husband agreeing to let me stay home with the kids is that he's known 4-5 other couples that did this in which the wife began cheating and sleeping around.

Not saying this to challenge anything. Just thought it was interesting. Whatever!
A good time to understand the difference between causation and correlation.
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,247 posts, read 9,603,652 times
Reputation: 9953
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
I should also mention a big con for my husband agreeing to let me stay home with the kids is that he's known 4-5 other couples that did this in which the wife began cheating and sleeping around.

Not saying this to challenge anything. Just thought it was interesting. Whatever!
I can say I know 4 or 5 couples where the wife or husband cheated when they were both working outside the home. I think a cheater is a cheater.
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
11,758 posts, read 8,507,564 times
Reputation: 17150
Most stay-at-home moms I know don't have the time or the energy to even consider cheating (not that they would in the first place.) When would this all go down? Between the toddler's nap and the 3rd grader's soccer practice?
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Allergy Hell
3,664 posts, read 3,039,043 times
Reputation: 5251
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Most stay-at-home moms I know don't have the time or the energy to even consider cheating (not that they would in the first place.)
Thank you. Cheating is way too much work and I get tired just thinking of it. I can't believe some people actually enjoy doing that.
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,463 posts, read 4,564,155 times
Reputation: 3465
It just wouldn't make financial sense to us to ever do it, even if I wanted to, unless there were 4+ kids.

a) Day care per kid runs about $1500/month for an infant (less for a toddler, less for a school aged kid). Additional kids have a sizable discount. (So $18-30k/year for 1-2 kids)
b) My income is far higher than the $42k it would take to cover daycare expenses for 2 kids. Even when you take into account commuting costs (minimal, I'd still need a car for errands), new clothes (very minimal), and food (I pack my lunch, so no savings there).

We'd be saving over $30k by me working with 2 infants, $45k with one infant. Assuming no raises and ridiculously high priced daycare for the rest of their childhood, that's their college right there. If it's a choice between staying home with them while they're little, or affording to pay for their college and family vacations, it's a no brainer.

The numbers change with 4+ kids.

Now, if one of us made soooooooooo much money that paying for their college in full wasn't going to be a stretch at all, then great. But as long as our earnings stay in the range they're currently in, daycare costs will never outweigh earning potential.

Emotional reasons for staying home are a completely different story.
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,247 posts, read 9,603,652 times
Reputation: 9953
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Most stay-at-home moms I know don't have the time or the energy to even consider cheating (not that they would in the first place.) When would this all go down? Between the toddler's nap and the 3rd grader's soccer practice?
Thats true for a saty at home mom, but I can see maybe just a stay at home wife/husband who has the time and means to run around much of the day. Of course I still think a cheater is a cheater and where there is a will theres a way.
 
Unread 03-13-2012, 10:31 AM
 
7,687 posts, read 4,583,441 times
Reputation: 15524
I tried being a stay at home Mum when my kids were very little but I was bored stupid. I ended up doing my nursing training during that time and when they started school, I started working. Their Dad looked after them when I had clinicals and they went to daycare when I was in class. It actually worked out pretty well.
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