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Old 03-14-2012, 04:29 PM
 
13,569 posts, read 23,099,277 times
Reputation: 9997

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Folks.. everyone is entitled to their opinion. Do not attack or make snide comments to each other as it goes against the spirit of this board.

If you can not be civil then you need to move along.

You can agree to disagree.. after all if we all felt the same we wouldn't need this forum.
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Last edited by Keeper; 03-14-2012 at 04:44 PM..

 
Old 03-14-2012, 05:18 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 5,000,543 times
Reputation: 7294
Quote:
Originally Posted by southshorelady View Post
With my first, I made a group of friends through the internet (meetup) in my area and we did weekly playgroups. It was great. No cleaning involved. I don't think anyone would have been comfortable with that. Now that those kids are all older, we don't do that anymore. The kids are all in preschool with at least one other sibling. The younger siblings have varying nap schedules that conflict wildly with the older kids' activities, etc. I'm hoping once the baby moves to a once a day nap schedule that we can begin to do more things outside the home again.

that's so true I didn't think about them being older kids, just the younger ones.
 
Old 03-14-2012, 06:25 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
6,763 posts, read 7,509,276 times
Reputation: 10897
Quote:
Originally Posted by carlitasway View Post
Yeap! It's called multitasking to those who think we don't move. If I was sitting the whole time while on here my house would be on Hoarders!
That's just because you're a couponer that you fear the hoarder moniker.
 
Old 03-14-2012, 09:28 PM
 
Location: between here and there
1,031 posts, read 1,954,621 times
Reputation: 895
I was a sahm of 4 children decades before there were computers, cell phones, or even cable in every home. It was both a thankless and fabulous job that varied from monotonous to heartwarming in an hours time. I lived in a rural town and mother groups were few and far between so isolation was my biggest complaint ( one car family too). We lived frugally and all my kids knew the value of a dollar early on.

Today, I work in the education world, entering the "paying" workforce (sahms DO work )when my youngest began school. There, I watched as younger co-workers struggled with the demands of juggling working and raising children and it was then that the true gift (and I speak for me) of being home really sunk in. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Now my daughters are parents and I see how they struggle with a job, a home, and babies. And I'm their go-to-grandma when they are in a jam but they both are looking at taking a few years off to " stay home" until the little ones are school ready. And I'm thrilled.

Their brothers are both still single and childless......

I know this is toe stepping opinion for some, but I believe younger kids need to be home with a parent for some part of the early, formative years until they get their bearings......it's a well-worn phrase, but they DO grow up soooooo fast and getting back to work after they are older is always a possibility. And with the types of negative influences that are flooding young kids today, parental influence is needed, now more than ever, to give our kids some roots to "hang on to" when the going gets tough.

I probably sound like an old lady but sometimes we oldies know a thing or three

Last edited by Fallingwater79; 03-14-2012 at 09:51 PM..
 
Old 03-14-2012, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,155 posts, read 57,115,654 times
Reputation: 38418
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZinniaDreamer View Post
I was a sahm of 4 children decades before there were computers, cell phones, or even cable in every home. It was both a thankless and fabulous job that varied from monotonous to heartwarming in an hours time. I lived in a rural town and mother groups were few and far between so isolation was my biggest complaint ( one car family too). We lived frugally and all my kids knew the value of a dollar early on.

Today, I work in the education world, entering the "paying" workforce (sahms DO work )when my youngest began school. There, I watched as younger co-workers struggled with the demands of juggling working and raising children and it was then that the true gift (and I speak for me) of being home really sunk in. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Now my daughters are parents and I see how they struggle with a job, a home, and babies. And I'm their go-to-grandma when they are in a jam but they both are looking at taking a few years off to " stay home" until the little ones are school ready. And I'm thrilled.

Their brothers are both still single and childless......

I know this is toe stepping opinion for some, but I believe younger kids need to be home with a parent for some part of the early, formative years until they get their bearings......it's a well-worn phrase, but they DO grow up soooooo fast and getting back to work after they are older is always a possibility. And with the types of negative influences that are flooding young kids today, parental influence is needed, now more than ever, to give our kids some roots to "hang on to" when the going gets tough.

I probably sound like an old lady but sometimes we oldies know a thing or three
Nothing like the voice of experience, not just the conjecture some here like to tout

You've had the best of both worlds and proved it can be done.

Hats off to you
 
Old 03-14-2012, 10:52 PM
 
2,015 posts, read 1,541,701 times
Reputation: 2027
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Wow! hahaha! Really? Go for it .

Don't see why it is so difficult for American parents to delegate house chores to their children. I know children can sue their parents for different reasons in the USA but can they sue their parents for expecting them to do house chores? If so, then I can understand why parents don't want to tell their children to chip in.


Love the mental image of a "luxuriating toddler" complete with a velvet chaise longue and a box of bon bons.
 
Old 03-14-2012, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 589,167 times
Reputation: 914
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZinniaDreamer View Post
I know this is toe stepping opinion for some, but I believe younger kids need to be home with a parent for some part of the early, formative years until they get their bearings......it's a well-worn phrase, but they DO grow up soooooo fast and getting back to work after they are older is always a possibility. And with the types of negative influences that are flooding young kids today, parental influence is needed, now more than ever, to give our kids some roots to "hang on to" when the going gets tough.
Hmm ... I admire and respect this POV. However, I'm not sure if SAHMs are doing it for their children or for themselves.

My mother went back to work two weeks after I was born. I was "co-raised" European-style by my grandmother, aunts and older cousins. Personally? I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I became an outgoing, independent child. Even though I had plenty of caretakers, I remember begging my mom to enroll me in daycare so I could be around other little kids. And she did just that.

As I grew older, I cultivated mad respect for my mom. No, she didn't stay at home and cook or bake. In fact, she was a crappy cook, and we had to hire a housekeeper to come in a couple of times a week to help tidy up. But she held a very prestigious title at the hospital, had worked her way through college on scholarship. She truly cared about her patients and their families. She saved lives. She made lives comfortable at the end. She rocked it.

When my dad was paralyzed, my family could have easily lost everything. But because my mom also worked and had listed my dad on her policy for secondary insurance (through work), they didn't lose their house or life savings. If she hadn't been a career woman, I'd be paying my dad's hospital bills until the end of my days. Yes, me. I am so relieved that I don't have that burden.

I am so proud of my mom. We don't always see eye to eye, but yes, I am proud. I am so grateful that she wasn't a SAHM. Anyone with a couple of brain cells to rub together can do that. But she managed a high-pressure career and balanced it with motherhood.

I think I turned out really good, too.
 
Old 03-15-2012, 07:32 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,768 posts, read 4,145,671 times
Reputation: 4752
While I think the idea of having one parent stay home with the kids is great when you can afford, it also makes me wonder why does one find a spouse that makes enough money to afford this?

When I was single, while I met lots of successful guys that made good money, none were looking for anything serious and treated me like an afterthought. I finally met a man that adored me and treated me the way I like but he isn't remotely career-oriented and doesn't earn much. Many of my girlfriends also find that not only is meeting Mr. Right hard but meeting a Mr. Right that will earn enough to support a family is even tougher. The majority of my married friends are not in the financial position to live off one income. And these are not big spenders. Just folks me like trying to stay afloat in this new economy.

I think even if I made $20k more than I do now, I can't see taking care of all the bills, retirement, college savings, food, car insurance for 2 cars and still have savings for emergencies, the future, home repairs and pocket money so we all don't go crazy.

Where do you find these men that not only earn a lot but are willing to take that kind of financial responsibility on?
 
Old 03-15-2012, 07:53 AM
 
455 posts, read 304,613 times
Reputation: 714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
While I think the idea of having one parent stay home with the kids is great when you can afford, it also makes me wonder why does one find a spouse that makes enough money to afford this?

When I was single, while I met lots of successful guys that made good money, none were looking for anything serious and treated me like an afterthought. I finally met a man that adored me and treated me the way I like but he isn't remotely career-oriented and doesn't earn much. Many of my girlfriends also find that not only is meeting Mr. Right hard but meeting a Mr. Right that will earn enough to support a family is even tougher. The majority of my married friends are not in the financial position to live off one income. And these are not big spenders. Just folks me like trying to stay afloat in this new economy.

I think even if I made $20k more than I do now, I can't see taking care of all the bills, retirement, college savings, food, car insurance for 2 cars and still have savings for emergencies, the future, home repairs and pocket money so we all don't go crazy.

Where do you find these men that not only earn a lot but are willing to take that kind of financial responsibility on?
I found him through friends of friends when we were 17. LoL. He made $8 an hour at the time, but I loved him. To be fair, though, I knew he was going to be successful. He majored in a field that not many people are good at and he was a natural at it. At the time, he didn't see it for himself. I kept telling him that I knew he was going to be a big success. He tells me now that all my encouraging and affirmative words made him strive harder to make my thoughts a reality. It took 13 years but it all came true.
 
Old 03-15-2012, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Middle America
18,271 posts, read 15,722,472 times
Reputation: 21421
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernaut112


I am so proud of my mom. We don't always see eye to eye, but yes, I am proud. I am so grateful that she wasn't a SAHM. Anyone with a couple of brain cells to rub together can do that.
I don't get this sentiment.

I've worked outside the home for years, know the world of navigating high-pressure careers. If I become a parent and go on sabbatical to be home with my child, for whatever length of time I deem fit, I don't suddenly become a less intelligent person with only "a couple of brain cells to rub together." I think that it bears saying that parenting full-time is a choice, and one that can be made by intelligent, motivated people who find it to be the choice most in line with their priorities. The argument that it's the refuge of lazy morons with no job experience or ability is just plain meanspirited, as well as inaccurate.

I'm actually really proud of my mom, too (put her own career on hold to raise four children full-time, reentering the workforce when I went to college/my youngest sibling entered middle school). She was awfully selfless, but stuck to her guns and made a hard choice- to pause her own career in favor of something she found more personally important, with the knowledge that the choice would be disrespected by many and would represent a sacrifice of income. I really respect her convictions. Many couldn't/wouldn't make those sacrifices.
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