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Old 04-23-2012, 10:04 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,936 posts, read 13,555,951 times
Reputation: 4370

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A guy who grew up with a SAHM mom does not always become a mama's boy. I had a SAHM and these days I have little to no contact with my mother (long story). I'm the opposite of a mama's boy. My parents are now divorced and I do talk to or see my father at least a few times a week.

 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:10 AM
 
4,230 posts, read 5,900,702 times
Reputation: 5308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Yuk View Post
A guy who grew up with a SAHM mom does not always become a mama's boy. I had a SAHM and these days I have little to no contact with my mother (long story). I'm the opposite of a mama's boy. My parents are now divorced and I do talk to or see my father at least a few times a week.
That's why I said "not making a generalizations about everyone raised by a SAHM".

Just like everyone raised in daycare doesn't necessarily find it to be a bad thing.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,512 posts, read 22,763,826 times
Reputation: 45313
Until very recently, most childcare in America was the domain of women, so using that logic all men would have to be mama's boys, which isn't the case.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Middle America
35,827 posts, read 39,473,952 times
Reputation: 48650
My SO seems to think that he's not "arrived" professionally until we are at the point as a household where we can afford for me not to "have" to work." I don't know where men get these ideas. Oh, wait, yes, I do, in his case. From his family, which for several generations has been comprised of doctors and attorneys and ladies who lunch and hold court at the country club. Not my world.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,459 posts, read 1,447,274 times
Reputation: 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
My SO seems to think that he's not "arrived" professionally until we are at the point as a household where we can afford for me not to "have" to work." I don't know where men get these ideas. Oh, wait, yes, I do, in his case. From his family, which for several generations has been comprised of doctors and attorneys and ladies who lunch and hold court at the country club. Not my world.
You don't have to be so bitter about it. It's a nice idea as long as he's open to whatever your final decision is on the subject.

It is sad that prices have increased on everything so much that for most couples it takes two incomes to live the lifestyle that one income provided 50 years ago.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:23 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,936 posts, read 13,555,951 times
Reputation: 4370
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrueRulz View Post
You don't have to be so bitter about it. It's a nice idea as long as he's open to whatever your final decision is on the subject.

It is sad that prices have increased on everything so much that for most couples it takes two incomes to live the lifestyle that one income provided 50 years ago.
I don't think its the increased prices, because wages are also much higher than they were 50 years ago. I think its the addition of things that people consider "necessities" these days that didn't exist or didn't happen as often back then.....cable/satellite TV, internet, cell phones, multiple cars, newer and bigger houses, expensive vacations, frequent eating out, multiple extracurricular activities, etc etc etc.

One of the most expensive costs is daycare. And unless both parents earn a hefty salary, daycare costs wipe out a majority of the second income anyways, especially for more than 1 child.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,459 posts, read 1,447,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Yuk View Post
I don't think its the increased prices, because wages are also much higher than they were 50 years ago. I think its the addition of things that people consider "necessities" these days that didn't exist or didn't happen as often back then.....cable/satellite TV, internet, cell phones, multiple cars, newer and bigger houses, expensive vacations, frequent eating out, multiple extracurricular activities, etc etc etc.

One of the most expensive costs is daycare. And unless both parents earn a hefty salary, daycare costs wipe out a majority of the second income anyways, especially for more than 1 child.
That is all definitely part of it.

However, here in SoCal, even just the HOUSE is far more expensive, if you want to live in an area that isn't a war zone.

One thing I look forward to in Ohio when we move, even though I'll miss CA dearly.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:42 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,936 posts, read 13,555,951 times
Reputation: 4370
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrueRulz View Post
That is all definitely part of it.

However, here in SoCal, even just the HOUSE is far more expensive, if you want to live in an area that isn't a war zone.

One thing I look forward to in Ohio when we move, even though I'll miss CA dearly.
Yeah we are lucky in a sense living in northeast PA, where the cost of lving is, while average for the US, much lower than nearby metros along the east coast like NYC, Boston, DC, Philly, etc, and definitely lower than the west coast.

Its not uncommon here to find older but decent houses in good neighborhoods for less than 100k.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Middle America
35,827 posts, read 39,473,952 times
Reputation: 48650
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrueRulz View Post
You don't have to be so bitter about it. It's a nice idea as long as he's open to whatever your final decision is on the subject.

It is sad that prices have increased on everything so much that for most couples it takes two incomes to live the lifestyle that one income provided 50 years ago.
I'm not bitter about it. I'm sad for him that there is much about his life that he defines by what other people see from the outside. It's no way to live, and it causes problems, when you define your own worth by what you think other people might think of the fact that your partner "has to" contribute to the household financially.

It's might be a nice idea for some, but it's not very realistic. And because he doesn't get/accept that it's not, he'll beat himself up over it, because in his mind, that's one of the nonnegotiable measures of success...having a spouse who doesn't "have to" work.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,459 posts, read 1,447,274 times
Reputation: 1373
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I'm not bitter about it. I'm sad for him that there is much about his life that he defines by what other people see from the outside. It's no way to live, and it causes problems, when you define your own worth by what you think other people might think of the fact that your partner "has to" contribute to the household financially.

It's might be a nice idea for some, but it's not very realistic. And because he doesn't get/accept that it's not, he'll beat himself up over it, because in his mind, that's one of the nonnegotiable measures of success...having a spouse who doesn't "have to" work.
OK, sorry. That makes more sense then.
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