Men: Do You Prefer a Stay-At-Home-Wife? (wives, married, woman, love)

[Miss Crabcakes]

The "ladies of leisure" thread got me thinking about the breadwinner husbands in the deal where they work to support the entire family and the wife stays home to raise kids and tend to the home.

I didn't grow up in an environment where this was common and grew up thinking both parents were supposed to work and when I was older and heard of the SAHM concept, I thought it was odd; to have one parent work and pay for everything. I've since opened up and better understand but I still wonder sometimes if the husband ever feels some resentment from having to shoulder the full financial burden. I know I'm the breadwinner in the family (as well as the chief financial officer) and I don't care for it. I don't like the pressure of knowing that without my paycheck, we would not have a home.

So for the men, if you earned enough to support an entire family, would you prefer your wife to stay home? What about when the kids are school-aged? Are there any men who would prefer their wives to work and help with finances?

Just curious.

[Aganusn]

No, I wasn't born in the 20s. I'm aware there are still men like this, though, and I don't care to associate with them.

Edit: Since someone may have a problem with me deciding not to associate with sexists: I can't respect a person who thinks someone shouldn't do what they want just because of the way they were born. It's wrong to assume someone should assume a role whether they want to or not in this context.

[UnexpectedError]

I think it's actually pretty great if one of the parents can stay home with the kids before they're school aged or even longer if you want to go the homeschooling route. It's a luxury that I would take if I find myself in that position when I get married.

[ChiGuy2.5]

I definitely prefer a stay at home spouse. My mom was a single mother who worked too much to ever watch over us. I was raised by a baby sitter which kind of sucks. To have a stay at home dad or mom, would be ideal. However, this is only if you can afford it.

I hope that I someday have a stay at home wife. If she makes more then me, I would gladly be a stay at home dad.

[BirdieBelle]

As far as one spouse working and "paying for everything," it's not as if SAHMs are freeloading.

Back when I was ONLY raising kids and not working, our financial advisor was working up some insurance quotes and figured out that it would cost my husband $112K/year to hire someone to replace me and do the family-oriented jobs I did if something happened to me: We're only talking domestic stuff, of course: child care, housekeeping etc. Not other wifely stuff

[brocco]

it makes sense if there are young children and the spouse staying at home would only be making a small income otherwise. the working spouse would gain extra time by having someone to run all of their errands, and that time may very well be more valuable than the income the stay at home spouse would otherwise bring in, esp when you bring saved childcare and commute costs into the equation.

[carlitasway]

My husband loves it but he's also appreciated when I work when things got tight with money and when I worked it was always my idea, not his. He's always been the main breadwinner, though. His face does beam when he comes home to a hot meal and clean home. It's not that we TRY to "live in the 20s" it's just that I don't mind doing the domestic stuff and he doesn't mind being the main breadwinner. It works for us.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes

The "ladies of leisure" thread got me thinking about the breadwinner husbands in the deal where they work to support the entire family and the wife stays home to raise kids and tend to the home.

I didn't grow up in an environment where this was common and grew up thinking both parents were supposed to work and when I was older and heard of the SAHM concept, I thought it was odd; to have one parent work and pay for everything. I've since opened up and better understand but I still wonder sometimes if the husband ever feels some resentment from having to shoulder the full financial burden. I know I'm the breadwinner in the family (as well as the chief financial officer) and I don't care for it. I don't like the pressure of knowing that without my paycheck, we would not have a home.

So for the men, if you earned enough to support an entire family, would you prefer your wife to stay home? What about when the kids are school-aged? Are there any men who would prefer their wives to work and help with finances?

Just curious.

I would want my wife to work if I could support the whole family. I don't plan on having kids but I would want my wife to stay home if it made more financial sense to do so with the cost of daycare when they were small, then once they become school-age to go back to work.

[Wilson513]

I thought I did. But I was wrong. If a woman can stay at home full time, with or without kids, she is not a very interesting person. If she is, she will make mischief, which is probably worse.

[findly185]

Originally Posted by Wilson513

If she is, she will make mischief, which is probably worse.

If she is the type of person to "make mischief" shes going to do it regardless. If shes in the workplace with constant day-to-day contact with the opposite gender the same thing will happen.