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Old 03-12-2012, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,819 posts, read 7,004,086 times
Reputation: 4961

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The "ladies of leisure" thread got me thinking about the breadwinner husbands in the deal where they work to support the entire family and the wife stays home to raise kids and tend to the home.

I didn't grow up in an environment where this was common and grew up thinking both parents were supposed to work and when I was older and heard of the SAHM concept, I thought it was odd; to have one parent work and pay for everything. I've since opened up and better understand but I still wonder sometimes if the husband ever feels some resentment from having to shoulder the full financial burden. I know I'm the breadwinner in the family (as well as the chief financial officer) and I don't care for it. I don't like the pressure of knowing that without my paycheck, we would not have a home.

So for the men, if you earned enough to support an entire family, would you prefer your wife to stay home? What about when the kids are school-aged? Are there any men who would prefer their wives to work and help with finances?

Just curious.

 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:27 AM
 
2,447 posts, read 2,553,078 times
Reputation: 2202
No, I wasn't born in the 20s. I'm aware there are still men like this, though, and I don't care to associate with them.

Edit: Since someone may have a problem with me deciding not to associate with sexists: I can't respect a person who thinks someone shouldn't do what they want just because of the way they were born. It's wrong to assume someone should assume a role whether they want to or not in this context.

Last edited by Aganusn; 03-12-2012 at 09:38 AM..
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:37 AM
 
3,517 posts, read 5,397,597 times
Reputation: 5553
I think it's actually pretty great if one of the parents can stay home with the kids before they're school aged or even longer if you want to go the homeschooling route. It's a luxury that I would take if I find myself in that position when I get married.
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,010 posts, read 5,046,134 times
Reputation: 3450
I definitely prefer a stay at home spouse. My mom was a single mother who worked too much to ever watch over us. I was raised by a baby sitter which kind of sucks. To have a stay at home dad or mom, would be ideal. However, this is only if you can afford it.

I hope that I someday have a stay at home wife. If she makes more then me, I would gladly be a stay at home dad.
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
38,124 posts, read 36,906,774 times
Reputation: 72045
As far as one spouse working and "paying for everything," it's not as if SAHMs are freeloading.

Back when I was ONLY raising kids and not working, our financial advisor was working up some insurance quotes and figured out that it would cost my husband $112K/year to hire someone to replace me and do the family-oriented jobs I did if something happened to me: We're only talking domestic stuff, of course: child care, housekeeping etc. Not other wifely stuff
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:46 AM
 
3,666 posts, read 5,720,171 times
Reputation: 4204
it makes sense if there are young children and the spouse staying at home would only be making a small income otherwise. the working spouse would gain extra time by having someone to run all of their errands, and that time may very well be more valuable than the income the stay at home spouse would otherwise bring in, esp when you bring saved childcare and commute costs into the equation.
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 5,850,738 times
Reputation: 6681
My husband loves it but he's also appreciated when I work when things got tight with money and when I worked it was always my idea, not his. He's always been the main breadwinner, though. His face does beam when he comes home to a hot meal and clean home. It's not that we TRY to "live in the 20s" it's just that I don't mind doing the domestic stuff and he doesn't mind being the main breadwinner. It works for us.
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:49 AM
Status: "FT Shot caller and PT Lyfter" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
22,753 posts, read 31,635,623 times
Reputation: 29955
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
The "ladies of leisure" thread got me thinking about the breadwinner husbands in the deal where they work to support the entire family and the wife stays home to raise kids and tend to the home.

I didn't grow up in an environment where this was common and grew up thinking both parents were supposed to work and when I was older and heard of the SAHM concept, I thought it was odd; to have one parent work and pay for everything. I've since opened up and better understand but I still wonder sometimes if the husband ever feels some resentment from having to shoulder the full financial burden. I know I'm the breadwinner in the family (as well as the chief financial officer) and I don't care for it. I don't like the pressure of knowing that without my paycheck, we would not have a home.

So for the men, if you earned enough to support an entire family, would you prefer your wife to stay home? What about when the kids are school-aged? Are there any men who would prefer their wives to work and help with finances?

Just curious.
I would want my wife to work if I could support the whole family. I don't plan on having kids but I would want my wife to stay home if it made more financial sense to do so with the cost of daycare when they were small, then once they become school-age to go back to work.
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:54 AM
 
10,139 posts, read 22,242,429 times
Reputation: 8236
I thought I did. But I was wrong. If a woman can stay at home full time, with or without kids, she is not a very interesting person. If she is, she will make mischief, which is probably worse.
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:56 AM
 
4,230 posts, read 5,831,825 times
Reputation: 5302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilson513 View Post
If she is, she will make mischief, which is probably worse.
If she is the type of person to "make mischief" shes going to do it regardless. If shes in the workplace with constant day-to-day contact with the opposite gender the same thing will happen.
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