"Men telling their dates how to dress" (attraction, attract, school)

[amanda0808]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

Good grief! Stop trying to turn her into a man-hater

But you are making my point for me rather well, when you say this...

Man-hater? I have enough sense to know that not every man is like that!

[wordlife]

If she dresses like she's ready to go dance to "rack city", I won't complain at all about it but I won't treat her with any type of respect.

I make it known from the onset that I like quality, I love dressing up in tailored/custom outfits from time to time but if she feel's fine with wearing sweat pants that say couture on back of them...well I feel fine dropping her at that moment.

Here's the kicker, if she keeps a feminine appearance I don't have to tell her how to dress. It's not that she's keeping the appearance because of me, she's doing it because she takes pride in herself and how she looks.

[Vic 2.0]

Originally Posted by marilyn220

What?? Explain please.

Certainly. You said this:

Originally Posted by marilyn220

He waited several weeks before springing that on you, because he wanted you to get "into" him first. Once he believed he "had" you, then he'd tell you about all his "remodeling" he wanted done to yourself. Bastid.

Essentially, he waited until there was an emotional attachment, which is what enabled his controlling/"controlling" behavior to actually affect her in some way. But there's a considerable chance that he didn't even know he was the controlling type, and that he didn't strategically wait just to get her hooked before moving on to phase 2 in some ingenious plan to take over. If he'da made a certain supposed "social blunder" (telling her what he thinks right away, no restrictions), she would've known right away what she was getting into, before emotions could stand a chance of hindering an objective look and a swift kick out the door.

That's why I say you don't wait. You don't avoid expressing your feelings or strong preferences in lieu of ensuring the first dates lead to a relationship. You don't do it for fear of being labeled a jerk, either. Might just be abnormal, but it'd serve some invaluable practical purposes.

[marilyn220]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

Certainly. You said this:



Essentially, he waited until there was an emotional attachment, which is what enabled his controlling/"controlling" behavior to actually affect her in some way. But there's a considerable chance that he didn't even know he was the controlling type, and that he didn't strategically wait just to get her hooked before moving on to phase 2 in some ingenious plan to take over. If he'da made a certain supposed "social blunder" (telling her what he thinks right away, no restrictions), she would've known right away what she was getting into, before emotions could stand a chance of hindering an objective look and a swift kick out the door.

That's why I say you don't wait. You don't avoid expressing your feelings or strong preferences in lieu of ensuring the first dates lead to a relationship. You don't do it for fear of being labeled a jerk, either. Might just be abnormal, but it'd serve some invaluable practical purposes.

Cool. I agree with the above.

At least everyone will know where they stand on things.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

I explained why expressing your preferences is not criticism already.



Of course it happens. This thread was inspired by someone else telling of it happening to her. I'd imagine it doesn't happen very OFTEN, but I also gave my explanation as to why it doesn't.

Explaining and excusing are not the same thing, my friend. And I didn't say I didn't get offended by it to make a point; I said it to answer a question.

You clearly stated that you understand why doing it would hurt a woman's feelings. If you would choose to do so anyway, that just makes you a cruel person. That's the reality of your position. Period.

[UnexpectedError]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

Certainly. You said this:


Essentially, he waited until there was an emotional attachment, which is what enabled his controlling/"controlling" behavior to actually affect her in some way. But there's a considerable chance that he didn't even know he was the controlling type, and that he didn't strategically wait just to get her hooked before moving on to phase 2 in some ingenious plan to take over. If he'da made a certain supposed "social blunder" (telling her what he thinks right away, no restrictions), she would've known right away what she was getting into, before emotions could stand a chance of hindering an objective look and a swift kick out the door.

That's why I say you don't wait. You don't avoid expressing your feelings or strong preferences in lieu of ensuring the first dates lead to a relationship. You don't do it for fear of being labeled a jerk, either. Might just be abnormal, but it'd serve some invaluable practical purposes.

Geez, stop stereotyping men! Not all men are so naive and simple they don't realize when they're being creeps!


^^^
Said in sarcastic, mocking tone

[marilyn220]

Originally Posted by UnexpectedError

Geez, stop stereotyping men! Not all men are so naive and simple they don't realize when they're being creeps!


^^^
Said in sarcastic, mocking tone

I wanted to rep you UnexpectedError, but it says I've given you too much and need "too spread it around", but I'm dying at this! LOLOL!!!

It's true. They DO know what they're doing.

[calipoppy]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

Certainly. You said this:



Essentially, he waited until there was an emotional attachment, which is what enabled his controlling/"controlling" behavior to actually affect her in some way. But there's a considerable chance that he didn't even know he was the controlling type, and that he didn't strategically wait just to get her hooked before moving on to phase 2 in some ingenious plan to take over. If he'da made a certain supposed "social blunder" (telling her what he thinks right away, no restrictions), she would've known right away what she was getting into, before emotions could stand a chance of hindering an objective look and a swift kick out the door.

That's why I say you don't wait. You don't avoid expressing your feelings or strong preferences in lieu of ensuring the first dates lead to a relationship. You don't do it for fear of being labeled a jerk, either. Might just be abnormal, but it'd serve some invaluable practical purposes.

Controlling man is controlling

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by calipoppy

Controlling man is controlling

True, but a slu*t is a slu*t as well.

[UnexpectedError]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

True, but a slu*t is a slu*t as well.

Ladies of loose morals come in many packages.

Mmm, I sound like a fortune cookie.