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Old 09-10-2007, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Hermitage, Tennessee
119 posts, read 620,970 times
Reputation: 122

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Okay. I'm 34, newly single. Been with two guys in the last 16 years. Never marriet yet. Went out on a date with this really nice guy and he's called and texted me since and wants to take me to Frightmares at the amusement park when it comes. How do you know if a guy wants a relationship or sex? That night he complimented me a lot. He said I was cute, liked my hair and my outfit and my shoes and my eyes. I asked him and he said he wants to get to know me, but who knows. Thanks for your response.

 
Old 09-10-2007, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Northern, VA
980 posts, read 2,054,777 times
Reputation: 521
There's no real cut and dry way to know if he means what he tells your or not other than taking your time to get to know him. Just follow your intuition...and don't give in just because he says nice things to you.
 
Old 09-10-2007, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX Southwest
3 posts, read 147,955 times
Reputation: 40
Is there a real way to tell if a guy just wants sex or a relationship, oh yea, from a guy you should hear the advice, most men won't tell you and if I said hell I'd proabably be banned from outings lol but in all seriousness if you want a relationship with him, then just do one simple thing, don't give in off the bat and make sure that when you do, you feel comfortable that way when you make that decision to go further you will find that if he has fooled you then at least it will have been your choice.
 
Old 09-10-2007, 10:31 PM
 
Location: California
9,653 posts, read 10,814,228 times
Reputation: 10819
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbane21 View Post
Is there a real way to tell if a guy just wants sex or a relationship, oh yea, from a guy you should hear the advice, most men won't tell you and if I said hell I'd proabably be banned from outings lol but in all seriousness if you want a relationship with him, then just do one simple thing, don't give in off the bat and make sure that when you do, you feel comfortable that way when you make that decision to go further you will find that if he has fooled you then at least it will have been your choice.
I agree, make him wait on the sex, if he focuses on sex and bails or gets upset when you don't give in he is just after sex, if he really wants to get to know you he will not pressure you and he will be more focused on doing things toward that.
 
Old 09-10-2007, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Miami. Florida
943 posts, read 1,814,891 times
Reputation: 866
Gotta agree with Urbane and Roaddog, I have three brotheres and the dogs that they were would always say the same thing. If a girl gave it up quick she was pretty much history, the ones that held out, well they ended up marry them. I now have three boys, which are all sexually active, guess what they say the same thing.
 
Old 09-11-2007, 12:00 AM
sun
 
Location: Central Connecticut
683 posts, read 1,512,279 times
Reputation: 437
If you make a guy wait too long, he just might think that he's wasting his time. Just because a guy is interested in sex doesn't mean that he just wants to use you for sex. Maybe he wants to see how compatible both of you really are.
After all, you could have sex and then find out that neither of you enjoy each other enough to continue seeing each other. Then at least neither of you will have wasted too much time just to find out the inevitable.
So if you're 34 and you can't decide how to determine when your relationship is ready for the next level, than I'm not going to suggest that you hold out too long. Just hold him off long enough to insure that he's genuinely interested, but not so long that it will cause him to go away, unless you think that he's really unworthy.

Last edited by sun; 09-11-2007 at 12:10 AM..
 
Old 09-11-2007, 01:07 AM
 
4,438 posts, read 5,942,180 times
Reputation: 1345
There is no sure way to tell... best advice is if he is complimenting you that much.. I'd say its on his mind much more than you know.

Just my opinion though
 
Old 09-11-2007, 04:57 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
8,081 posts, read 14,059,114 times
Reputation: 9893
Most men want sex. The ones who really try to avoid sex usually don't have the ability to have sex. Or the interest. There are some who just want companionship.

If he is nice, I vote give him a chance.

A male friend once told me the 'other side' of this situation. He had been with a woman who wasn't interested in sex for a long time. He vowed never to get into another relationship like that. He needed and wanted a sex life. He said that made him try to perhaps have sex too soon. That was his acid test. The woman had to want him. I can see both sides of this one.
 
Old 09-11-2007, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Under the SUNNY WARM SUN ....
14,937 posts, read 6,985,219 times
Reputation: 17371
My son is 22 years old, good looking and popular in college. He says if she
is too eager and gives in quickly then he doesn't want her - she's too
"loose."
I agree the "loose" girls are not the ones he would bring home for Sunday
night dinner or marry. I think I did the right thing when I taught him about
sex.
I agree to keep him at bay for awhile and get to be friends first, follow
your instincts.
 
Old 09-11-2007, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Virginia
6,530 posts, read 9,118,419 times
Reputation: 3055
Go on your own time frame and when you're ready. I mean this is the age long question that women ask that makes me really wonder....

-You ask the question, so obviously YOU are thinking about sex as well.

-Sure, I'm guessing the guy would LOVE to have sex, so what???

So it sounds like you'd love to go ahead and just do him, but are afraid that he might take off afterwards. Well, then the answer seems pretty simple. Give in when you're ready to and don't worry about it so much. The problem is that if the guy is a dog and you just don't know it yet and you're dating and not having sex, that most likely he's having sex with other people and dating you. A true dog isn't going to "give up" if he's interested in bedding you like everyone here seems to be claiming. He'll simply get it outside the relationship and even after you have sex the relationship will continue, but he wont' stop getting the extra on the side.

YOU have to be a bit intuitive, but not overly and outwardly cautious because treating a good man like he can't be trusted won't really be tolerated either.

I know I probably scared you more than helping, but you can't have some false sense of security here. Some guys are like that and if women could sniff them out so easily they wouldn't have a market. Just do what YOU want to do and have no regrets about it whatever happens....
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