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I had recently come out of a breakup, I was bitter in fact very bitter to begin with but slowly understood that what had happened was for my own best perhaps and learnt to forgive both the other person involved in the relationship as well as myself which I did. So I finally decided to move on and find out what else life had to offer.
Anyway I met this woman online the other day and we instantly had a spark, we kept chatting for a while and finally decided to meet 2 days ago. I met her at a restaurant she liked, ordered some food and spoke about each other for a couple of hours. I was doing the talking for quite a bit as I am usually someone that talks quite a bit, but then I also let her talk and listened for a while about what she had to say. She was very soft spoken and I find that a very feminine and appealing quality, we spoke at length about what we had done with our career, lives, ambitions, expectations and of course just the current happenings and life/society in general.
Anyway we spent like 3 hours together and I am very interested in her. I don't know if she's but the fact that she could have made an excuse and left earlier but still stayed for 3 hours made me feel that she might be interested in me too. I would like to find out how I should proceed from here, I am not asking this not because I don't know what to do but based on my previous negative experience, I thought it was best to get a second opinion and get as many opinions as possible, esp. from the women of CD.
Give each of you space. Don't crowd her. Go on a few more dates and get to know each other more, rather than just projections that each of you may have about the date/relationship. Projections are fun, exciting, but 90% of the time lead to problems down the road. Get to know the person slowly over a few dates.
Sounds like you may need some personal growth on your own side. no dis intended, just my slight observation (i'm ready to be flamed if you feel i've crossed the line).
You don't win if you don't try. If you had a good time, then send her a note and ask her to meet up again. Worst thing that happens? She says no and you don't have to wonder what might have been. Otherwise she says yes.
greenpapayas: I notice a lot of relationship insecurity with you through your posts. You won't find a girlfriend until you address some of them. It seems like you have already taken yourself out of the game because you assume there is not hope for a relationship with anyone.
If you do not have the guts to ask for a second date, you should not be dating at all. Because of your insecurity, there is a girl out there wondering what she did wrong because you never called again.
Your immaturity has consequences. You should not be out there in the dating pool, ruining it for the grownups who are trying to do it right.
Alright everyone, this is weird now. I did text her based on the feedback given here and she did agree to meet me again, however this time she wants me to meet her when she's hanging out with a bunch of her friends, why would this be? Do you think she's just thinking about me as a friend and nothing beyond that?
Alright everyone, this is weird now. I did text her based on the feedback given here and she did agree to meet me again, however this time she wants me to meet her when she's hanging out with a bunch of her friends, why would this be? Do you think she's just thinking about me as a friend and nothing beyond that?
First of all, good for you for pursuing it further, and see? it paid off.
Secondly, don't think so negatively of yourself. She has definitely shown some interests here. Maybe she wants a second opinion from her friends or wants to parade you in front of her friends. Confidence is the key. Don't act like you are constantly expecting the worst from every single of her actions.
Alright everyone, this is weird now. I did text her based on the feedback given here and she did agree to meet me again, however this time she wants me to meet her when she's hanging out with a bunch of her friends, why would this be? Do you think she's just thinking about me as a friend and nothing beyond that?
Maybe you're a hot piece and she wants to show you off? It's quite early to be meeting a bunch of her friends. My last G/F, this is what happened so I wouldn't discount that she might still like you.
Relax! She wants her friends to meet you. Plus it takes some of the pressure off of the two of you. Find out who her best friend is and make sure you find something you have in common with her or just be extra gentlemanly and polite. Chat them all up casually and ask them questions about where they work or go to school or whatever. Be interested in them. Get them to talk about themselves and be a good listener. They'll love you for it. And smile when you talk to them.
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Confidence is the key. Don't act like you are constantly expecting the worst from every single of her actions.
