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I'm not overly open and gay or straight I don't like to talk about my personal life at work. I'm just wondering what to expect. How nosey will people get? Or will anyone even care? I would prefer not to come out, but how much can I really hide.
Why wouldn't you want to be out at work? I'm not saying you have to send an email announcing your sexual orientation to the entire office, but you should be able to tell your boss that you may need to take a few days here and there for doctor visits, or if a colleague asks what you did this weekend, say, "oh, my partner and I went hiking." You can certainly be private, but you shouldn't have to hide your life and who you are.
Just out of curiosity... how are you going to get pregnant? Also, how does that work between you and your GF? Who decided which of you would be pregnant?
Again, strictly out of curiosity, you dont have to answer. Anyway, both might be something people may ask.
We're doing it artificially in the doctor's office She doesn't want to carry and I do so the decision was easy.
Why wouldn't you want to be out at work? I'm not saying you have to send an email announcing your sexual orientation to the entire office, but you should be able to tell your boss that you may need to take a few days here and there for doctor visits, or if a colleague asks what you did this weekend, say, "oh, my partner and I went hiking." You can certainly be private, but you shouldn't have to hide your life and who you are.
I think the reason I am like this is because in my first job out of college my supervisor was super private. And so I was too and then I would see people gossip about other people and I was like wow, I don't want them to talk about me, so I didn't say anything and have been that way ever since.
Gay, straight, or whatever, an office pregnancy is always news and people will talk and speculate. I would just continue on as usual. There's no reason to hide your sexuality or advertise it. It's your personal business and it really shouldn't be on the forefront at work.
Katestar... congratulations!!! it is so exciting for you and your gf to start a family
Where I work, we have a lot of old busybodies when my bff got pregnant, they gave her all sorts of advice, talked about all sorts of things that I was embarrased about hearing, from how to cure morning sickness, to how to get rid of strechmarks, to... you guess it!! how to enjoy sex while pregnant... OMG!! I was ten shades of red and my bff was just having a good laugh...
Any ways, what I meant to say, in my experience, a pregnant woman will spark all sorts of emotions on others, from the most tender, to the most bizarre (I have a friend who is terrified of pregnant women, is actually a phobia, I don't know the name of it). The only advice I can give you is to be yourself, if someone asks you something, you answer it honestly and respectfully. That is all you can do.
I do work at a very LGBTQ friendly place, but even here, I had a bump or two in the road when a couple of ladies saw my rainbow flag and Human Rights = sticker... like I said, all you can do is be honest and respectful, and keep your cool. People will respect your witt and your professionalism, and eventually those few who do not understand will either get educated, or ignore you, no great loss really, is there
I think the reason I am like this is because in my first job out of college my supervisor was super private. And so I was too and then I would see people gossip about other people and I was like wow, I don't want them to talk about me, so I didn't say anything and have been that way ever since.
I think this is a good reason TO come out. I've been in the office atmosphere for 20 years. You know what makes people gossip?
Speculation.
"What's her private life like? Who does she live with?"
"I don't know. There are no pictures on her desk. SHE MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING."
When everybody already knows about you, it becomes old news almost instantly. Also, hiding it will make some people think you are ashamed of it. Also, when you do come out, guys that came onto you or thought about romantically will feel silly and stupid. This will make them have a negative perception of you even though that isn't fair.
Bottom line is, if you don't have a story, people will invent one for you. And it will always be much less flattering than the truth.
I think this is a good reason TO come out. I've been in the office atmosphere for 20 years. You know what makes people gossip?
Speculation.
"What's her private life like? Who does she live with?"
"I don't know. There are no pictures on her desk. SHE MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING."
When everybody already knows about you, it becomes old news almost instantly. Also, hiding it will make some people think you are ashamed of it. Also, when you do come out, guys that came onto you or thought about romantically will feel silly and stupid. This will make them have a negative perception of you even though that isn't fair.
Bottom line is, if you don't have a story, people will invent one for you. And it will always be much less flattering than the truth.
^^This is exactly what I am thinking would happen. I just feel like maybe I should have done it sooner and now is too late?
Katestar... congratulations!!! it is so exciting for you and your gf to start a family
Where I work, we have a lot of old busybodies when my bff got pregnant, they gave her all sorts of advice, talked about all sorts of things that I was embarrased about hearing, from how to cure morning sickness, to how to get rid of strechmarks, to... you guess it!! how to enjoy sex while pregnant... OMG!! I was ten shades of red and my bff was just having a good laugh...
Any ways, what I meant to say, in my experience, a pregnant woman will spark all sorts of emotions on others, from the most tender, to the most bizarre (I have a friend who is terrified of pregnant women, is actually a phobia, I don't know the name of it). The only advice I can give you is to be yourself, if someone asks you something, you answer it honestly and respectfully. That is all you can do.
I do work at a very LGBTQ friendly place, but even here, I had a bump or two in the road when a couple of ladies saw my rainbow flag and Human Rights = sticker... like I said, all you can do is be honest and respectful, and keep your cool. People will respect your witt and your professionalism, and eventually those few who do not understand will either get educated, or ignore you, no great loss really, is there
That's hilarious!! I don't think the people I work with are too busy body...but some of them do like the gossip.
I guess the other reason I'm this way is that I had an eating disorder in HS and then and still I am somewhat self-consious...I don't like people thinking anything of me...good or bad, real or made-up.
To me, the question is more "who do I share info about my home life about" than "do I tell people I'm straight or gay." Some people you'll be closer to, and you'll share more. Other people you won't tell very much about yourself.
In my workplace it seems almost half the people are gay. I'm straight and I even catch myself referring to my boyfriend as my "partner" because it's the term I seem to hear the most and it just rubbed off on me.
Really, unless you have any people who are really bigoted, it should not be a problem. Even those of us who are politically conservative and Christian are mostly all fine with it, despite what gets shown in the media. The only people I've encountered who are really "anti-gay" are religious extremists who seem to misinterpret the real religious message, or very old people who have been really sheltered and are still weirded-out when women wear pants.
In my workplace, there are some people who I know are gay, some who I know are straight, and some I have no idea about because we just never really discuss our personal lives. I usually don't even notice when people are pregnant until they are about to pop. So I can't see people who don't know you well coming up and asking personal questions about how you got that way. I guess it depends on the culture in your workplace. We've have baby showers at work for straight and gay people, and no one really cared either way (we cared more about the food being served!)
Some of you have helped me in dealing with my mother and me coming out to her and her accepting my gf etc. Thank you to everyone for your input. We are actually doing really great!
My gf and I are starting the process to start our family and I hope to be pregnant in the next few months. No body at work knows that I'm gay. It's not that I hide it, I just don't talk about it and no one asks. Now obviously, there will be no hiding the pregnancy. I know it's really no body's business, but I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm assuming people will start asking questions...
I'm not overly open and gay or straight I don't like to talk about my personal life at work. I'm just wondering what to expect. How nosey will people get? Or will anyone even care? I would prefer not to come out, but how much can I really hide.
Well shug only you know your work environment... we don't.
You should know by now whether or not your have nosey co-workers.
But it doeesn't matter. They can't fire you, they can't even talk about you, so what's the problem?
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She doesn't want to carry and I do so the decision was easy.
when my bff got pregnant, they gave her all sorts of advice, talked about all sorts of things that I was embarrased about hearing, from how to cure morning sickness, to how to get rid of strechmarks, to... you guess it!! how to enjoy sex while pregnant... 
OMG!! I was ten shades of red and my bff was just having a good laugh... 
People will respect your witt and your professionalism, and eventually those few who do not understand will either get educated, or ignore you, no great loss really, is there 
