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Didn't want to hi-jack the other thread on disability...But, what would happen if suddenly thru no fault of anyone your SO was disabled? Not to the point that they can't walk/talk/everyday life...but, just enough that they are in pain when doing their job, and of course other activities as well, and has been for years, but the Doc said, "no more work."
Now you're the bread winner, no monie coming in on their part(takes awhile for Social security and Disability and retirement) to kick in...
Maybe their suffering guilt ridden days, along with the pain...what do you do? How would you handle the chores at home...juggle the bills, life in general?
Do what is necessary of course. What else would one do? I make a good income, we are responsible with money, have never extended ourselves, and have money in savings and investments. We also have three teenaged children who know how to do their chores with minimal griping.
Didn't want to hi-jack the other thread on disability...But, what would happen if suddenly thru no fault of anyone your SO was disabled? Not to the point that they can't walk/talk/everyday life...but, just enough that they are in pain when doing their job, and of course other activities as well, and has been for years, but the Doc said, "no more work."
Now you're the bread winner, no monie coming in on their part(takes awhile for Social security and Disability and retirement) to kick in...
Maybe their suffering guilt ridden days, along with the pain...what do you do? How would you handle the chores at home...juggle the bills, life in general?
This is why after a certain age disability insurance is a good thing to invest in.
Loving, successful couples would just cope and adjust their lifestyle - work through the difficulties. I'd personally rely on my faith for strength.
This is why after a certain age disability insurance is a good thing to invest in.
Loving, successful couples would just cope and adjust their lifestyle - work through the difficulties. I'd personally rely on my faith for strength.
All others would likely fall apart.
MrsCPG knows a couple where that happened. He was in an accident and was confined to a wheelchair. His wife went back to work and was able to provide for the both of them.
The only problem was the conjugal relations. After a couple of years of celibate marriage, he evidently gave her permission to seek relief elsewhere.
Didn't want to hi-jack the other thread on disability...But, what would happen if suddenly thru no fault of anyone your SO was disabled? Not to the point that they can't walk/talk/everyday life...but, just enough that they are in pain when doing their job, and of course other activities as well, and has been for years, but the Doc said, "no more work."
Now you're the bread winner, no monie coming in on their part(takes awhile for Social security and Disability and retirement) to kick in...
Maybe their suffering guilt ridden days, along with the pain...what do you do? How would you handle the chores at home...juggle the bills, life in general?
I want to know what your solution is. I think a normal solution is you make due with what you can and do your best. Its the risk you take when you have a SO that you love. That should be the only option.
The other option is to get rid of them to make your life easier, and seems like its what you are suggesting. Kudos.
If I married that person and loved them, then I'd adjust whatever I needed to to make things work. In sickness and in health and for better or worse aren't vows I take lightly.
You do what you need to do... If you love that person - You help them and keep the home afloat as well.
I can't fathom getting rid of someone who became disabled. Especially if I loved that person and "if" i was married to them. Things happen in life. We take the good with the bad...
This happen to myself and my husband. I caught a virus on our honeymoon that practically damaged a part of my brain that controls the central nervous system and within two weeks I wasn't even able to get out of bed (we had JUST turned 22 been together since we were 17) I had lost my job at the state attorneys office, I did nothing but practically live at hospitals and doctors. My husband was pushing 80 hours to support us..
Fast foward 8 years we are now almost 30... Im still sick, was able to hold very short jobs here and there but nothing solid, still going to doctors (under care of Mayo Clinic 8 hours from my house). My husband doesn't have to work 80 hours a week anymore but he never left me, never complained ONCE about what had to be done (god love him cause I spent many days in bed crying as to why i was so sick) I had/and still have such guilt over this happening ,esp literally right as we got married. I couldn't pay the bills, or help with anything. I thought my god I've ruined his life he'll never be able to buy a house without two incomes or a nice car he wants, go on vacations etc. BUT we had each other, that was a lot. There were some years in our early 20's where the best we could do for Christmas was a bottle of nail polish and shoe shiner. We made it work though.
I'm chronic but things are better now, his job is better we can make it just fine now on his income and I can be a stay at home mom and give my daughter all the things she needs, what more can one ask for. He makes it a point to say daily he loves me and that he loves his life and that he doesn't regret one min.. As he says "I made a vow for better or worse, sickness and in health I just wish you didn't have to endure the latter" . We have a pretty good life considering what has transpired and if you marry someone you take the punches and roll with em.
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