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Actually, all above was so helpful. I just am not good at pretending. It was hard to avoid this subject since she stayed with us 24/7 for several days, but now she is not here. I am trying very hard to feel genuine love and care, but struggle with it. I hope I am never in her shoes. I know she has it harder than I can imagine now. But you are right, people don't change overnight, and I think best bet will be to force yourself to act extra nice and helpful no matter how you feel about the past. Thank you all.
A relative who never cared and actually offended me several times in the past has lost her husband of many years. I didn't really know the diseased and had no emotional connection with him at all. The relative is here to visit and take her mind off her loss, we are during a move with two small children, stressful time, very busy cleaning, packing, loading and waiting on everybody (five people to cook for). How to find time and comforting words for someone who never ever cared for you and refused help and emotional support several times when I needed it? I don't seem to have much love and sympathy in me toward her and I feel terrible about it. I can't imagine what she is going through, want to be a bigger person and sincerely say how much I feel sorry for her. I forgave her coldness and selfishness in the past but I just can't forget and make myself care as I should now. Please help find the right words if you ever were in the same situation.
I wouldn't give her the time of day honestly. It seems she hasn't earned any respect throughout your lifetime so why should you put forth any more effort especially if you are trying to pack and move. She made her choices long ago and everyone loses someone to death eventually.
*Delivery pizza is a good way to feed those who have decided to visit in the middle of your packing and moving*
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