Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He already put down 20 bucks before saying he had no change. You should have known by then that he wasn't interested in going dutch. All he needed was a dollar or two to cover the rest of the bill.
I was getting my money out at the same time and that's when he mentioned he didn't have change. Honestly, I wasn't really paying attention to how much he was putting in at the time. I was just getting out what I knew I owed. If I didn't go for my purse at all, I don't know what he would've done if he really only had $20. I mean, who puts in just $20 when the bill is $21?? That's why I thought that maybe he was going to wait to get change from the server for his $20 to only cover his half.
Giving him only $5 would've looked like I was expecting him to cover the majority of the bill.
So? It was a DATE. That's what he's SUPPOSED TO DO, unless it was agreed upon BEFORE the date that you guys would be paying separately.
If I was going to be paying SEPARATELY for a DINNER DATE OR LUNCH DATE, then I wouldn't have wasted my time going, but that's ME. I have a different expectation of these things.
I would have given him the $5, said my goodbyes and never would have spoken to him again.
So? It was a DATE. That's what he's SUPPOSED TO DO, unless it was agreed upon BEFORE the date that you guys would be paying separately.
If I was going to be paying SEPARATELY for a DINNER DATE OR LUNCH DATE, then I wouldn't have wasted my time going, but that's ME. I have a different expectation of these things.
I would have given him the $5, said my goodbyes and never would have spoken to him again.
Cheapskate.
LOL, yes I know a lot of women who feel the way you do also. I just handle Internet dating a little differently because I don't really think it's fair for the guy to be stuck with a complete stranger's bill (although most of the ones I've met are ok with paying it). Yes, he was the one who asked me out, but I always pick the place for the first meeting and I drive myself there, so I don't view it as a date where he's taking me out and automatically treating.
First, I always pay the entirety of the meals. No questions asked and when I see my date offer to pay, I tell her to save her money.
But I Think this situation could have been handled better by the OP via communication.
the bill was only $21, and the guy put in 20, I didn't read the entire thread but at that point, when you reached for your purse to grab some cash, you should have asked if he was paying for all of it and needed a few bucks to cover the rest, or if he's covering his half with the 20. Easy yes/no answers for either question. If the guy didn't have any singles, you could have tossed in the 5 and said keep the change as tip. If he said he was covering his half, you should have then asked the waitress to split the check up before paying your half so you knew how much you needed to pay. That pretty much solves all the issues.
To me, I think both of you looked dumb, for lack of communication. I think money is important enough to talk about when it comes to bills. When it comes to complete strangers, don't ever assume he's going to do what you want him to do.
To me, I think both of you looked dumb, for lack of communication. I think money is important enough to talk about when it comes to bills. When it comes to complete strangers, don't ever assume he's going to do what you want him to do.
You're right. Since he's the man, I was expecting him to take charge and handle things (since that's the kind of man I want), but I should've communicated better also.
Yeah, I just think it's polite to order lightly when you're meeting someone for the first time. I'm always prepared to pay for whatever I order, but I know lots of guys do offer to pay the whole bill, so I make it easy for them to do that.
I got caught at this point and had to stop -- just really wanted to THANK you for this.
NOT because of any "cheapness" on my part, or resentment toward women over the whole "who pays for dates" thing -- that's just nuts.
Rather, because you come prepared to pay, you recognize that you're meeting for the first time and don't want to overstep any bounds or presume a guy's eagerness to pay in the event the date goes badly.
It speaks volumes on several subtle levels, and YOU ROCK for this, no matter what else I may or may not ever end up thinking of you throughout various threads in the future.
As for the guy...
Odds are he KNEW it was too much, and he probably felt as uncomfortable for the quality of the date as did you. He may have felt flustered by the bills you handed him, perhaps expected HALF that amount and then just kind of brain-farted for a moment and didn't want to THINK, so dropped it all there.
In all likelihood just a glitch in the Matrix moment, nothing more. And on his way home he was probably embarrassed by this having happened.
LOL, yes I know a lot of women who feel the way you do also. I just handle Internet dating a little differently because I don't really think it's fair for the guy to be stuck with a complete stranger's bill (although most of the ones I've met are ok with paying it). Yes, he was the one who asked me out, but I always pick the place for the first meeting and I drive myself there, so I don't view it as a date where he's taking me out and automatically treating.
AND AGAIN!!!!
You rock. It's not anything to do with cheapness on a guy's part, or at least wouldn't be on MY part. I'm part of the "whoever asks pays, or it's understood the guy does unless previous discussed" crowd -- BUT I'm a smidge older and falling more into a semi-traditional sense.
And as you said, an INTERNET date. It tends to be a bit different.
If you and I went out and the date didn't go well, I'd still pick up the bill but I'd appreciate that you hadn't just lived it up on a stranger's dime during an otherwise failed outing. However, if the date WAS going well and you'd ordered so lightly, at some point I'd probably ask, as well as explain that I was serious, whether or not you wished to order a bit more, because in the spirit of good company I'd actually want you to relax and enjoy yourself.
It speaks volumes on several subtle levels, and YOU ROCK for this, no matter what else I may or may not ever end up thinking of you throughout various threads in the future.
Thanks!
Quote:
And on his way home he was probably embarrassed by this having happened.
Yes, I'm probably being too hard on him and I didn't really start thinking about this until I was on my way home too, so that's when I became annoyed.
Definitely no second date with him. If I was asked out on a date, then why would I have to pay? I think whoever does the asking out pays.
That would feel like paying for my own birthday.
If I'm not mistaken, in a previous post you stated he admitted to being a pothead. LOSER....
My father is old-fashioned on this. I once went out on a date a long while ago and the only question my father asked was ''You didn't pay for anything did you''?
If I'm not mistaken, in a previous post you stated he admitted to being a pothead. LOSER....
No, the pothead was a different guy. I actually liked him and he paid for our first date but I couldn't keep seeing him because he wasn't boyfriend/husband material.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
