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Old 03-25-2012, 01:12 PM
 
474 posts, read 123,911 times
Reputation: 224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
My female Indian friend is not interested in Indian men, either.
And my female Uruguayan friend only feels attracted to Nordic men.

Maybe it is even normal to be interested in the exotic. Maybe it would always have been that way if people had been able to move all around the world like today.
That's quite typical of most Indian American women who grow up in the States, also it's not that they want to date men of other ethnicities, they exclusively go for White men because of their fixation towards skin color and "going" White or having a White trophy bf/hubby is a social status thing for them. I would be wary of such women to be honest.

 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:14 PM
 
4,190 posts, read 1,990,117 times
Reputation: 5208
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging-Hetero View Post
Right, but I don't think it's any worse than feeling disgusted around men of a different ethnicity.
Who said that wasn't sad either?
 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,468,554 times
Reputation: 11309
Why is everyone having their panties in a bunch? She is just one woman. Does her decision exterminate the male species of her ethnicity? Relax.

She could use some glory hole treatment and we can put a man of her own ethnicity behind the wall and cure her of her illness. Some serious therapy there. It worked in another thread.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:17 PM
 
15,960 posts, read 8,817,090 times
Reputation: 6023
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Siobhan View Post
I agree that a person is just as likely to find their match outside of their ethnic group as finding one inside it; but I also feel that same way when it comes to limiting yourself to a 50 mile radius (dating sites), I just never understood that.


The biggest problem that I have with dismissing an entire ethnic group is that when one does it, it usually is because of some negative perception, interaction, or belief from their own history. As a hypo, let's say that a teenage Black girl living in a predominately Black neighborhood is constantly picked on by her peers because she "speaks Whites" and "acts White"; I would imagine that this would create a form of resentment towards her community and ethnic group. Likewise, in another hypo, if we placed that teenage Black girl in an all-White situation, she may grow up not regularly socializing with Black people outside of her family, so she may be reluctant to have large group interactions once she is an adult.

Ultimately, simply because you share a similar ancestral origin, language, religion, or national identity, it does not mean that you hold the same values, ambitions, goals, or expectations as everyone else; and surely that means that if you can be different, then there are others who are different, so you should not dismiss the entire group without meeting everyone of that entire group.
Yep. So at the end of the day who you will end up with depends largely on who you socialize with more. Plus, say you dislike your own ethnic group, but work in an office where mostly people of the same group are employed, would you block a relationship to a person you like very much just because they belong to your ethnic group? Hopefully not.
But when someone lives in a big city with lots of ethnic groups present, I guess it is natural to automatically kind of filter out the ones that don't appeal as much to you. Thus the mere likelihood of meeting and getting to know and like someone of one's own ethnicity is very reduced from the start.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:24 PM
 
15,960 posts, read 8,817,090 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpapayas View Post
That's quite typical of most Indian American women who grow up in the States, also it's not that they want to date men of other ethnicities, they exclusively go for White men because of their fixation towards skin color and "going" White or having a White trophy bf/hubby is a social status thing for them. I would be wary of such women to be honest.
She is very nice actually, and very progressive, which is her problems in India. Most men there still aren't interested in a woman who is superior to them intellectually. They expect their wives to quit their jobs and have children etc.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:27 PM
 
474 posts, read 123,911 times
Reputation: 224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
She is very nice actually, and very progressive, which is her problems in India. Most men there still aren't interested in a woman who is superior to them intellectually. They expect their wives to quit their jobs and have children etc.
Stereotypical assumptions again. You should go to a modern metro in India right now and see how many working women you would find over there, and I highly doubt people like Sudha Murthy and Indra Nooyi would be what they are today if their husbands thought the same way.

I have around 200 Indian friends in USA and none of their wives had to quit their jobs to take care of their children, on the contrary all their wives work and a lot of them have their PhD's. So much for your outdated theory, as I said your friend just offers a convenient negative stereotype to cover up her hatred of her ethnicity.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:33 PM
 
15,960 posts, read 8,817,090 times
Reputation: 6023
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenpapayas View Post
Stereotypical assumptions again. You should go to a modern metro in India right now and see how many working women you would find over there, and I highly doubt people like Sudha Murthy and Indra Nooyi would be what they are today if their husbands thought the same way.

I have around 200 Indian friends in USA and none of their wives had to quit their jobs to take care of their children, on the contrary all their wives work and a lot of them have their PhD's. So much for your outdated theory, as I said your friend just offers a convenient negative stereotype to cover up her hatred of her ethnicity.
Nah, she has had various interested men sitting in her family's living room over the years. They were simply unacceptable to her, some outright obnoxious. She lives in a big city near Mumbai by the way.
I am not talking about Indians in the US, but real Indians living in India. She has never been to the US or Europe.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
16,771 posts, read 10,777,805 times
Reputation: 12163
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Siobhan View Post
I agree that a person is just as likely to find their match outside of their ethnic group as finding one inside it; but I also feel that same way when it comes to limiting yourself to a 50 mile radius (dating sites), I just never understood that.


The biggest problem that I have with dismissing an entire ethnic group is that when one does it, it usually is because of some negative perception, interaction, or belief from their own history. As a hypo, let's say that a teenage Black girl living in a predominately Black neighborhood is constantly picked on by her peers because she "speaks Whites" and "acts White"; I would imagine that this would create a form of resentment towards her community and ethnic group. Likewise, in another hypo, if we placed that teenage Black girl in an all-White situation, she may grow up not regularly socializing with Black people outside of her family, so she may be reluctant to have large group interactions once she is an adult.

Ultimately, simply because you share a similar ancestral origin, language, religion, or national identity, it does not mean that you hold the same values, ambitions, goals, or expectations as everyone else; and surely that means that if you can be different, then there are others who are different, so you should not dismiss the entire group without meeting everyone of that entire group.
Great post!

It is one thing to say: everyone in my ethnic group (or cultural group) is disgusting, horrible and evil and I am nothing like any of them.

It is completely different to realize that on your list of must haves for compatibility is made ups of certain beliefs, views and traits that can be find in our outside your ethnic or cultural group.

I am a lot like the hypothetical girl. I am black and grew in white neighborhoods and have been accused of "sounding white" and so on. So anyone who harps on my speech pattern is automatically dismissed no matter what their ethnicity is. Everyone else is totally fair game, and I have dated a variety people in and out of my ethnic group and american and non american.
 
Old 03-25-2012, 02:16 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 3,100,799 times
Reputation: 1519
Quote:
Originally Posted by cj31young View Post
I am not trying to create a controversial post but I've enjoyed my interactions with men from other ethnic background a lot more than my own. Now I think I am not attracted to my own. I almost feel disgusted around men of my own ethnicity. Is that crazy or what?
What is your ethnicity?
 
Old 03-25-2012, 02:18 PM
 
474 posts, read 123,911 times
Reputation: 224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuling View Post
Nah, she has had various interested men sitting in her family's living room over the years. They were simply unacceptable to her, some outright obnoxious. She lives in a big city near Mumbai by the way.
I am not talking about Indians in the US, but real Indians living in India. She has never been to the US or Europe.
Maybe she's extremely picky and might have voted out any man she considered less smarter than her, there's no rule that states that a man has to be smarter than his woman btw.
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