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I'm not a man, and not married, but am in a very LTR living with a man who absolutely refuses to have any kind of sex with me and refuses to let me try to get it elsewhere. On top of that, he's always insecure and suspicious, like if I come home late (from shopping or errands), he tries to accuse me of cheating. I really wish I could find someone to cheat with. I'm going crazy, and this is not how our relationship started out many years ago! Back then, we went at it at least 2x/day. His kids are grown and I have no kids, so that's not the excuse. He never wants it, ever. I can't get laid to save my life. I didn't sign on for this, and it's pathetic. I guess in a way, it's better than what I had before him: I used to get laid left and right, but those men just hit it and quit it, never to be seen again. I wanted a relationship, just not a platonic one.
When men have shared that they lack sex in their marriage, people tell them to be sweet to his wife, romance her, cherish her, cook for her, buy her something, take her out, send flowers, be sweet, groom himself and look good, and so on and on. I suppose this works the other way around. Have you tried doing any of those things for him?
I can totally understand that. Happiness comes in different forms for different people. But from what I gather - your choice in lifestyle doesn't have anything to do with the negatives of marriage but of the positives of your chosen path - correct?
No, it's both. Plain and simple, marriage is a union that benefits Government, religion, women, and children all at the expense of men.
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
So even if you knew tons of extremely happily married couples who couldn't keep their hands off of each other -
I see people happily drink and smoke everyday but I still chose not to do either because it's harmful to my body..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
you still would be happier with your alternative life - right?
When men have shared that they lack sex in their marriage, people tell them to be sweet to his wife, romance her, cherish her, cook for her, buy her something, take her out, send flowers, be sweet, groom himself and look good, and so on and on. I suppose this works the other way around. Have you tried doing any of those things for him?
It doesn't work that way, because there is a double standard. The guy should be lucky that he's being offered sex, therefore its a reward within itself. That's what makes marriage a fools game.
No, it's both. Plain and simple, marriage is a union that benefits Government, religion, women, and children all at the expense of men.
I see people happily drink and smoke everyday but I still chose not to do either because it's harmful to my body..
YES!
So - if you thought marriage was more favorable to me - you'd want to get married?
Just for the record - marriage is what you make of it. I know many, many men that are much happier now that they are married. Part of it is choosing the right partner. When I married my husband - I honestly felt like no two people had ever been so in love. Well, I still kind of feel that way - and I'm sure other people feel the same way about their marriages. I don't think you should get married unless you feel that way - but a lot of people do.
BECAUSE (with all due respect) he married UP. You're a well paid (and hot) scientist.
We're pretty similar in the grand scheme of things, so I don't look at it as up or down per se. If a man is concerned about finances he should marry a professional equal. The vast majority of my colleagues are married to other techies. That's pretty typical ime.
I responded to the OP, as below. 40 years was never even hinted at.
I never put in a timeline..didnt think i needed to. 5 years or 40 years..didnt matter.
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