Lack of sex in marriages..why? (wives, married, women, love)

[SummerFall]

Okay. Perhaps this has been discussed before, i dont know. But, it is no secret at all that men complain that once they get married, the sex drops off. A good portion of them say its like once a month, if that.

What is the reason for this? Now, I know that if folks have small kids, they cant be at it like rabbits all the time. Is this the reason? Does kids make your sex life null and void? Does working make it null and void..what?

And for the people that do it only like once every two months, is that REALLY all about kids? And what about people whose kids are older? Like in their teens? Or what about people whose kids are grown..18, 19?

Men, do you feel like your wives, or your friends wives, whatever, just turn their men away because they can? What do you hear at the water cooler about why some married couples arent getting it? A couple that is going through marital problems is obvious... I mean just everyday couples who are fairly stable.

[GOBBARK]

Originally Posted by SummerFall

Okay. Perhaps this has been discussed before, i dont know. But, it is no secret at all that men complain that once they get married, the sex drops off. A good portion of them say its like once a month, if that.

What is the reason for this? Now, I know that if folks have small kids, they cant be at it like rabbits all the time. Is this the reason? Does kids make your sex life null and void? Does working make it null and void..what?

And for the people that do it only like once every two months, is that REALLY all about kids? And what about people whose kids are older? Like in their teens? Or what about people whose kids are grown..18, 19?

Men, do you feel like your wives, or your friends wives, whatever, just turn their men away because they can? What do you hear at the water cooler about why some married couples arent getting it? A couple that is going through marital problems is obvious... I mean just everyday couples who are fairly stable.

One of the biggest I hear is that she is just not into it anymore. Often times said woman doesn't have a problem checking out some other young stud she sees. So what gives? Does that seem fair? BTW, these men are the country rugged type men. They still have nearly all their muscle mass and many can still run circles around younger competition. Then you have the "churchy types". They were a dead starfish when they were 18, so no supprize there. Now they are 60 or more and an even bigger prude. IMO, many should have never gotten married in the first place. The sex part was left out from the beginning. I bet they sure seem proud they got married at 18-21 NOW! Should have shopped around a bit more I guess.

[Doll Eyes]

Well don't worry if they are not getting what they want at home, they will start looking elsewhere for it.

[stan4]

The biggest reason why I have heard women say they don't want to have sex has to do with not getting enough help around the house and feeling really resentful, tired...and unlike a dude, a woman can't get up for it if she is secretly seething inside.

[midatlantic12]

Sex with the same person for years and years is going to eventually get stale regardless of what one does in attempt to "spice it up."

[calicali01]

Originally Posted by SummerFall

But, it is no secret at all that men complain that once they get married, the sex drops off. A good portion of them say its like once a month, if that.

What is the reason for this?

Well, for starters, it has to do with Western CULTURE itself. Western culture grooms its citizens to be controlling, manipulative, cold, crass, selfish, narcissistic, and prudish which are characteristics that diametrically appose what's needed for healthy physical intimacy between two people. This is why people from Western countries (men and women) go to 3rd world countries to have the best sex of their lives; the people in 3rd world counties are open, friendly, and very free spirited.

Secondly, people in the West work too much so they have little time to engage in sex as much as they would like.



And lastly, the fact is that there are women who use sex a way to secure a husband. What they do is find a man who they don't necessarily like, (but they know he makes good money) and they lay him real good until he decides to marry her, then she stops having sex with the guy because she got what she wanted and there is nothing he can do.

In fact, there is a saying: "Why are men like tile floors? If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years"

[Sarahpc122927]

Originally Posted by calicali01

Well, for starters, it has to do with Western CULTURE itself. Western culture grooms its citizens to be controlling, manipulative, cold, crass, selfish, narcissistic, and prudish which are characteristics that diametrically appose what's needed for healthy physical intimacy between two people.

Secondly, people in the West work too much so they have little time to engage in sex as much as they would like.



And lastly, the fact is that there are women who use sex a way to secure a husband. What they do is find a man who they don't necessarily like, but they know he makes good money and can secure their retirement, so they lay him real good until he decides to marry her, then she stops having sex with the guy because she got what she wanted and there is nothing he can do.

In fact, there is a saying: "Why are men like tile floors? If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years"

I love my husband to be very very much! He doesnt make alot of money . Oh we will have sex even after the kids are born. Looks like someone is generalizing.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by SummerFall

Okay. Perhaps this has been discussed before, i dont know. But, it is no secret at all that men complain that once they get married, the sex drops off. A good portion of them say its like once a month, if that.

What is the reason for this? Now, I know that if folks have small kids, they cant be at it like rabbits all the time. Is this the reason? Does kids make your sex life null and void? Does working make it null and void..what?

And for the people that do it only like once every two months, is that REALLY all about kids? And what about people whose kids are older? Like in their teens? Or what about people whose kids are grown..18, 19?

Men, do you feel like your wives, or your friends wives, whatever, just turn their men away because they can? What do you hear at the water cooler about why some married couples arent getting it? A couple that is going through marital problems is obvious... I mean just everyday couples who are fairly stable.

Okay, I don't know how old you are, or how many actual married couples you've talked to, or if you simply read the rants/complaints that are so frequently found online. People don't go online to exude happiness....they do so to vent. You need to remember that. I was married for 5 years...and for us, sex stayed a constant throughout our marriage. And yes, we had a kid too, and that didn't even cause us to skip a beat.

You need to get off of the internet and talk to some real people...all you'll find here is those that are dissatisfied, and of course any fault NEVER resides with them.

[SummerFall]

Originally Posted by stan4

The biggest reason why I have heard women say they don't want to have sex has to do with not getting enough help around the house and feeling really resentful, tired...and unlike a dude, a woman can't get up for it if she is secretly seething inside.

I have heard this. I think it would help also for men to keep in mind that women are driven by their emotional needs a bit more than men. If they are happy emotionally, they are more willing to get happy physcially.

[RayinAK]

Originally Posted by midatlantic12

Sex with the same person for years and years is going to eventually get stale regardless of what one does in attempt to "spice it up."

For some perhaps, but not for others. Been married for over 30 years to a beautiful woman. She raised my two daughters from a previous marriage, and our two sons. But right after having kids she returned to her slim, fit, and beautiful figure. If it weren't because both of us work, we would be having a lot more sex than three or four times a week. And yes, while for her a couple of times per week is plenty, I find her so attractive that I can go at it at least once per day.

The key: find a low maintenance, but pretty woman. BUT don't forget that she should find you handsome, so be clean and in good shape