How to win him back? (guy, cheats, relations, issues)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thats exactly it. I should have put that in my first post, sorry. But yes I want my son to have a father. To have a family. I feel like its my fault that he wont grow up living in the same house as both parents. Even though HE cheated surly I caused it somehow. Ok that was a lie, I may have caused some of it but I have to stop blaming myself.
How does your ex feel about being a father? Was your child together planned? What role does your ex want in your child's life? This is the ultimate and determining factor.
You can't force someone to behave with authenticity. Your ex will probably give you exactly what he is emotionally capable of — which, right now, doesn't seem like much, from what you've posted.
"This too shall pass."
Maybe not tomorrow or next month or even next year. But time will heal. You just have to take one minute at a time. There is one thing that I can promise you: One day you'll wake up and find that your ex has no ability to tug at your heart strings. You'll be able to see things clearly, for what they truly are. You will not always feel like you do right now. It's simply not possible.
Then there's that pesky "In the meantime ..." Be patient. Take care of yourself and your child.
I meant more along the lines of dont call my child names. Yes the child is a very important factor.
Yes Im 23.
I know I have lots of time ahead of me to find "the one"
You are putting the cart before the horse. You need to find YOU first. Until you are a mature, self reliant, confident adult, trying to find someone ELSE in partnership is a mistake. You aren't ready to BE a partner, therefor are unlikely to find a partner.
Quote:
I actually made an appointment with a therapist and just didnt go. I really think I do though because im to the point where I dont eat or sleep and the only thing that even brings me half way out of my darkpace is either talking or being around my ex or seeing my son laugh or smile.
That is not mentally healthy, and you know it. It is not good for your child. Get to that therapist.
I meant more along the lines of dont call my child names. Yes the child is a very important factor.
Yes Im 23.
I know I have lots of time ahead of me to find "the one"
I actually made an appointment with a therapist and just didnt go. I really think I do though because im to the point where I dont eat or sleep and the only thing that even brings me half way out of my darkpace is either talking or being around my ex or seeing my son laugh or smile.
I understand this, too, but "illegitimate" is not a name. It is a true statement of fact.
How does your ex feel about being a father? Was your child together planned? What role does your ex want in your child's life? This is the ultimate and determining factor.
You can't force someone to behave with authenticity. Your ex will probably give you exactly what he is emotionally capable of — which, right now, doesn't seem like much, from what you've posted.
"This too shall pass."
Maybe not tomorrow or next month or even next year. But time will heal. You just have to take one minute at a time. There is one thing that I can promise you: One day you'll wake up and find that your ex has no ability to tug at your heart strings. You'll be able to see things clearly, for what they truly are. You will not always feel like you do right now. It's simply not possible.
Then there's that pesky "In the meantime ..." Be patient. Take care of yourself and your child.
He loves our son. He wants me to send him a pic of DS everymorning and he calls before bedtime and in the morning to say good night and good morning so our son "doesnt forget his voice"
He told me he wanted a family. He wasnt planned in the sense "lets have a baby" but he stopped wearing protection and when my period would come he seemed disapointed. We have been togthether since we were 19. He is all I have ever know on a mental and physical level. I guess this is my first "real" relationship.
Hello all, my dear friend and co worker "OhioChic" is letting me use her profile because if I make one I will never log in to see any replys.
My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. He was cheating, but I miss him so much I want him back. There is no getting over it. I want him back. So what I need is some advice on how to get him back. I have made some huge mistakes from what everyone around me is saying. Apparently me calling all the time and calling the girl he was messing with and having her stop messing with them caused more harm than good. So what should I be doing? Everyone says just ignore him and he will come running back.
I dont think thats how it works.
I do know that I need to back off somewhat which I have but I think that did more harm than good.
Any advice is welcome! Good bad whatever just HELP because I feel like im going into a deep dark place of no return.
Didn't OhioChic properly instruct you to ask in the right board?
You have better luck in the "Parenting" board, with responsible people and adults posting, as opposed to this whacked out and T-Rex-oll infested relationships board.
Have the mods move it. This is more of a single mom issue. You need some training in the self-esteem department.
I was reading the parenting board and a poster (won't name names, the thread is out there) says she sacrificed 15 years of her life for her son who's graduating high school and is going to college this year. That's the kind of people you need to talk to.
Didn't OhioChic properly instruct you to ask in the right board?
You have better luck in the "Parenting" board, with responsible people and adults posting, as opposed to this whacked out and T-Rex-oll infested relationships board.
Have the mods move it. This is more of a single mom issue. You need some training in the self-esteem department.
I was reading the parenting board and a poster (won't name names, the thread is out there) says she sacrificed 15 years of her life for her son who's graduating high school and is going to college this year. That's the kind of people you need to talk to.
LOL she actually told me NOT to go to the parenting thread as she was quite familar with most people there and she didnt want them to think it was her and she said they arent always so gentle when it comes to sensitive subjects.
He loves our son. He wants me to send him a pic of DS everymorning and he calls before bedtime and in the morning to say good night and good morning so our son "doesnt forget his voice"
He told me he wanted a family. He wasnt planned in the sense "lets have a baby" but he stopped wearing protection and when my period would come he seemed disapointed. We have been togthether since we were 19. He is all I have ever know on a mental and physical level. I guess this is my first "real" relationship.
I sure hope that time heals all wounds.
It does ...
Your ex is still a very young man, if he's your age. Almost a baby himself. And while I won't use this as an excuse, it is a reason. A person's 20s ... well, this is the decade during which he or she changes the most, not just in terms of personality, but life goals, values, etc.
What sounds like a really good idea at 21 may not be "doable" two years down the line.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.