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Old 04-18-2012, 01:05 PM
 
4,948 posts, read 6,869,998 times
Reputation: 7860

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
I posted on this site ages ago, about my abusive husband.

Well, his time is up!

This morning, looking at a house to rent....in a lovely situation. Feel so excited about a fresh start. But my hubby is being all nicey nicey today, almost like he 'knows' something is up.

Too late. He had 20 years of my life. He has sworn at me, abused me verbally and emotionally for years on and off, in between telling me he loves me SO MUCH and didn't want ANYONE else!!!!

He has been good these past few months, because I told him that I WAS leaving, he panicked. But he was venting on my daughter and I have a feelling its only a matter of time.....

So I have 8 days left with him. God keep me strong and resolved. Dear City Data people say a prayer for me......and thank you for all your previous advice it wasn't wasted you know!!!!

But, now is the time. My house sold in a month, this house for rent has come up and is perfect, all the signs are there....God is helping me and delivering me.
u go guurrrrrl!! do yo thang. It's time for you to look out for YOU.

I'm saying my prayers and hoping for the best. I'm excited for you! fresh place, fresh start.... YESSS!

you have been liberated

 
Old 04-18-2012, 04:55 PM
 
Location: England
1,171 posts, read 2,185,778 times
Reputation: 1007
My husband saw a posting on Citydata...he read the lot....got upset.....so, I can't say openly on here what is happening. I am OK....message me and I will message you back privately. I am on the up. Thanks everyone!
 
Old 04-18-2012, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,025,648 times
Reputation: 39664
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
My husband saw a posting on Citydata...he read the lot....got upset.....so, I can't say openly on here what is happening. I am OK....message me and I will message you back privately. I am on the up. Thanks everyone!
Well, the truth does hurt sometimes, he'll just have to learn to deal with it.

But I do not want him taking his anger out on you! (about what people here posted)

Are you sure you are safe??
 
Old 04-18-2012, 05:30 PM
 
9,957 posts, read 11,808,700 times
Reputation: 13278
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
My husband saw a posting on Citydata...he read the lot....got upset.....so, I can't say openly on here what is happening. I am OK....message me and I will message you back privately. I am on the up. Thanks everyone!
When you no longer love someone it is time to simply walk away. When love dies it never comes back. Glad you left and now you need to stay gone forever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineleith View Post
Right here mate.
That is two of us.

I married late when I was 28, she was 26, and we were both ready. Now it's been over 35 years and we are still happy with each other.

Never marry early. Who you are at 20 is not who you will be at 30 and the same holds true for your marriage partner. Both will change, I guarantee you will change, and what happens if you don't even like each other after 7 years and two children?

I promised to love and cherish my entire life and I have. I do. I couldn't imagine saying something mean or nasty because if I did it would break her heart and if her heart breaks so would mine. In our mid 60's I hope we have another 20 years together and the last thing I would want is for her to come to the end of her life journey with the regret she shared it with me.

My job is to support her in what she wants to do. At 59 she decided she wanted to go back to college... I said "you go girl!" even though we both knew she would never work again. So it cost us $5k... big deal, over 35 years that's only $143/year and that is a cheap price to pay to make her happy. When she got her diploma nobody was more proud of her than I was.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Funny how love works.

The love of our lives turn into snakes who we hate. Not making a judgment call on anyone, just making an observation.

You may be doing your husband a favor by kicking him in the pants. Hopefully he will become a better man from all of this.
The turn into snakes when we stop respecting them. When we stop respecting them love is gone and it is over forever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
Last night he came home with a bunch of flowers. Which made me feel awful and was painful. He was being lovey dovey and had sad eyes, like he knows something is up. My daugher said...."Snakes always sense when something is creeping up, because of the vibrations on the ground".....and that is HIS daughter talking about her father! Says it all really. But my daughter is also feeling sad, a bit, though she can see what a hard time I have had....indeed the hard time SHE has had, he father telling her "EVeryting is wrong about you, wrong attitude, wrong grade" Last night, he was clinging on to me.
Yes, it does say it all. Very sad.
 
Old 04-18-2012, 07:10 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,001,893 times
Reputation: 4290
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
My husband saw a posting on Citydata...he read the lot....got upset.....so, I can't say openly on here what is happening. I am OK....message me and I will message you back privately. I am on the up. Thanks everyone!
Step #1 in him worming back into control of your life.

You've received positive messages of support, people here have bolstered (well, except for the dolt or two who know nothing about relationships) your decision and given you validation that you are on a path to a better life. He wants to take that support away. Worse, he makes you so fearful that you are now reduced to sneaking around.

I'm going to PM you another site to visit, since your lout of an ex has sh@t on this one. To jennaflorrie's husband: you are absolute scum. You might have forced the poster into hiding from you on this site, but she will still be in the prayers and good thoughts of the people who have followed her travails with you.

To jennaflorrie: my suggestion is that you see a lawyer. Your d!ckhead of an ex needs to be put on notice, you need to work out a schedule of visitation to put this situation in a more neutral, controlled atmosphere. You can't sweep that trash out of your life because of the kids who bind you, but you can lessen the impact he has on your life. You CERTAINLY need to shutdown these attempts to control you
 
Old 04-18-2012, 07:58 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
29,920 posts, read 34,517,946 times
Reputation: 35917
Let me recommend you get your landlord to put extra locks on the doors and get some type of security system if you can afford it. It doesn't have to be something expensive.
 
Old 04-18-2012, 09:53 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17451
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
My husband saw a posting on Citydata...he read the lot....got upset.....so, I can't say openly on here what is happening. I am OK....message me and I will message you back privately. I am on the up. Thanks everyone!
And I'll wager a bet he saw it while in your new place on your computer....I did warn you about the computer. I hope there is a good anti-virus, anti-spyware installed. If he installed key logger, he knows your passwords too.

I'll DM.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 05:33 AM
 
Location: England
1,171 posts, read 2,185,778 times
Reputation: 1007
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
You owe no one, least of all the likes of these jokers, any explanations. You do what is best for you.


Hahaha.....yes, I can see the funny side......but, my laptop was broken, I used the blackberry, hubby found the blackberry.....which he shouldn't have.....didn't know how to delete Histroy on Blackberry as normally don't use it.......all a load of coincidences......ah well......
 
Old 04-19-2012, 06:05 AM
 
Location: London
1,587 posts, read 3,137,837 times
Reputation: 1322
It nauseates me that there are some men in this thread actually trying to guilt, confuse, and convince an abused wife to stay with her abuser.
To the OP: stay strong.
 
Old 04-19-2012, 07:34 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,869 posts, read 13,841,131 times
Reputation: 8718
I'm glad you're all moved but at this point, it will be a waste of time if you keep giving him access. Going through your blackberry, for example, should not even be an issue. He shouldn't have the opportunity. This tells me he still feels very much entitled and that is not a good sign. I'm afraid that when you really stomp on the breaks, he will not handle it well at all. People like this need a clear and indisputable "NO". And they barely accept it then. Anything less is a green light.

I know this is what you're used to, but if you're going to make the break, you have to stand by it. It's hard, to break from old habits. I know. But kids or no kids, your home is supposed to be your sanctuary and you have the right to keep it that way. He may be their father, but you do not have to let him into your home.
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