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Old 04-22-2012, 05:55 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17456

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
I do understand but I'm also not going to, as NY Annie said, "mollycoddle" her. If a mistake was made, you say a mistake was made, not "coincidence". If you're going to get through this, should you not start out by being honest about what you're doing?

In any event, I can see how it came across more harshly than I intended.

Meh...it's not my life...not my business...but some people come on this forum and make you care about them.
Shes following the typical pattern of DV and its frustrating to the people around them, in this case a forum. Tire to point they turn them off, and could be why shes here on a forum posting, bc shes lost her network of supporters in RL.

The person shes not being honest with is herself. They say all the right things and then typically do the contrary. Its not bc she doesn't have a backbone. She still wants to believes in her heart he can change.

Anyone who doesn't understand what shes doing, doesn't understand DV. But I agree, the mollycoddling doesn't help her face the truth.

Last edited by virgode; 04-22-2012 at 06:04 PM..

 
Old 04-23-2012, 07:24 AM
 
Location: England
1,171 posts, read 2,186,061 times
Reputation: 1007
At risk of being caught by my hubby.....can I say...thaks everyone for your help. I am doing fine....in the house....hubby came over last night with flowers...crying....told him he had to go...couldnb't deal with the emotions. He needs to sort these things out and I need to have my space...the last thing I need is him bringing his emotions into THIS house...I left the House we had previouslyshared! He felt that our separation was like HALF TIME in football (soccer), and that the second half would be a diffrent game. I basically said...yes, it was half time...but he needed to get a new player. new Pitch.

I always said if I left I would NEVER go back. I stand by that.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 07:29 AM
 
270 posts, read 330,274 times
Reputation: 605
Good for you for sending him away!
 
Old 04-23-2012, 02:51 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17456
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
At risk of being caught by my hubby.....can I say...thaks everyone for your help. I am doing fine....in the house....hubby came over last night with flowers...crying....told him he had to go...couldnb't deal with the emotions. He needs to sort these things out and I need to have my space...the last thing I need is him bringing his emotions into THIS house...I left the House we had previouslyshared! He felt that our separation was like HALF TIME in football (soccer), and that the second half would be a diffrent game. I basically said...yes, it was half time...but he needed to get a new player. new Pitch.

I always said if I left I would NEVER go back. I stand by that.
The issue here is letting him in, not returning. Good job though. Putting up the boundaries will get easier each day.

Your kids don't need to be manipulated and influenced by the emotional histronics.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 03:00 PM
 
9,018 posts, read 7,946,526 times
Reputation: 14414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Let me recommend you get your landlord to put extra locks on the doors and get some type of security system if you can afford it. It doesn't have to be something expensive.
This advice......is priceless. Seriously. Take it to heart. If not for your safety, then for the kids.


Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
The issue here is letting him in, not returning. Good job though. Putting up the boundaries will get easier each day.

Your kids don't need to be manipulated and influenced by the emotional histronics.
Well it's more than likely too late to shield the kids. They've already been exposed to the histrionics. And since he has the address, it will continue.
Sorry to say, but the damage is done.
 
Old 04-23-2012, 03:18 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17456
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
This advice......is priceless. Seriously. Take it to heart. If not for your safety, then for the kids.



Well it's more than likely too late to shield the kids. They've already been exposed to the histrionics. And since he has the address, it will continue.
Sorry to say, but the damage is done.
To some degree they're already damaged and probably in need of therapy as well as the OP.

That isn't a reason to allow it to continue. She has to put her foot down to protect herself and her kids and be prepared to contact law enforcement if need be.

Will it continue? It likely will, as she takes a new approach, he may step up his game and the families safety will come to the forefront. Additional security for doors and security system will be priceless.
 
Old 04-24-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: England
1,171 posts, read 2,186,061 times
Reputation: 1007
A few days ago, hubby looked thoughtful and said "I thought you were indestructible"

!!!

Is ANY0NE indestructible?
 
Old 04-24-2012, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,039,386 times
Reputation: 39664
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
At risk of being caught by my hubby.....can I say...thaks everyone for your help. I am doing fine....in the house....hubby came over last night with flowers...crying....told him he had to go...couldnb't deal with the emotions. He needs to sort these things out and I need to have my space...the last thing I need is him bringing his emotions into THIS house...I left the House we had previouslyshared! He felt that our separation was like HALF TIME in football (soccer), and that the second half would be a diffrent game. I basically said...yes, it was half time...but he needed to get a new player. new Pitch.

I always said if I left I would NEVER go back. I stand by that.
Honey, when he shows up you must NOT answer the door. QUIT LETTING HIM INTO YOUR HOME!

Only see him in public places to drop your kids off with him.
 
Old 04-24-2012, 06:18 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17456
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
A few days ago, hubby looked thoughtful and said "I thought you were indestructible"

!!!

Is ANY0NE indestructible?
Thats what abusers do Jenna. In other words, his attempts to break you down psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, physically and other way didn't happen.

Hes the epitomy of a LOSER Jenna. Stop letting him engage you in his mind games.
 
Old 04-25-2012, 12:10 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,869 posts, read 13,841,131 times
Reputation: 8718
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
A few days ago, hubby looked thoughtful and said "I thought you were indestructible"

!!!

Is ANY0NE indestructible?

Why did he say that? What was that in response to?

I don't think anyone is indestructible. Some can take a lot more than others but it eventually takes a toll.
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