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Old 03-27-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Location: England
1,169 posts, read 1,494,078 times
Reputation: 957

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
I'm not questioning the decision to leave, I'm questioning the decision to tell a bunch of strangers on a public forum before actually leaving and before telling the husband she's leaving. If she wants to leave without telling him, do so, but don't advertise the fact.

It's almost like she just wants validation that she's doing the right thing, instead of simply critically evaluating it herself and making the decision.
Free Beer.....I just wanted to share with people on City Data that I AM leaving, something many people here advised me to do.....I appreciate their help and positive input into a strangers life....someone who lives hundreds of miles away.

Have you ever seen the movie The Descent? Well, I feel like I have been in a prison for 20 years.

My husband is manipulative and controlling. I have put up with him because I wanted the children with me, because I hoped he would change....because I believed in marriage and loathed the thought of divorce. I have gone around and around this....and now, finally the lights are turning green.

You have no idea what you are talking about. Truth. But even if you were to call me the filthiest names and verbally machine gun me.....I would not be shocked because I have heard it all before, from the one who was supposed to Love, Honour and Cherish me. He lied then and I don't believe he will ever change.

Maybe, my posting here will encourage some other woman or man - who is caught in a prison, to break free!

Oh, and take care of your loved one Free Beer.....worms always turn.

 
Old 03-27-2012, 05:24 PM
 
Location: USA
9,880 posts, read 5,268,003 times
Reputation: 7391
Good luck on your new life. Hopefully the experience with your husband will teach you what you will and will not tolerate in any future relationship.
 
Old 03-27-2012, 08:54 PM
Cow
 
Location: Eastern Oregon
153 posts, read 93,841 times
Reputation: 424
Let me be the first to say, "how you doin'?"

 
Old 03-27-2012, 08:55 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
822 posts, read 558,241 times
Reputation: 1245
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
You owe no one, least of all the likes of these jokers, any explanations. You do what is best for you.
So basically you're saying people can only be praised, never criticized, for posts. Okay.
 
Old 03-27-2012, 08:57 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,130 posts, read 12,613,182 times
Reputation: 13525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
So basically you're saying people can only be praised, never criticized, for posts. Okay.
A question...How much do you know about abusive relationships?
 
Old 03-27-2012, 09:31 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 5,020,370 times
Reputation: 4183
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
There's nothing classy about this...ever.....is there a way to be classy about it?

My husband won't read this posting....guaranteed.

You don't know my REAL name or exact location.

I am making this posting here because I need all the strength I can get for the wretched week ahead.
No need to explain yourself. I swear, I think some people join boards just to be contrary

It often makes the event seem more real, just by telling somebody. And those who have read your previous posts are glad of the update that you are moving forward and making such a courageous change. We'll all be along for the countdown.
 
Old 03-28-2012, 04:41 PM
 
Location: England
1,169 posts, read 1,494,078 times
Reputation: 957
Well, the deposit is down! The paperwork is filled out....all I need now to get the keys to my rented house and my new life is....the references to come in and the Credit search to be done.

Hubby is nice as pie today, so thankful for everything. He really is a deceitful snake!

He still managed to tell us (me and the kids) he didn't give a ****. Because his daughter smiled when he was moaning about something trivial.

I feel and look so tired, I am waking up early in the morning, staying awake late at night. I keep the phone off the hook when he is at home and I have to go out....so people can't ring him and tell him that, in fact, the valuation for our new home (which we were going to buy together) has not been done!!!

One more day to go, then on Friday....should hopefully get the keys. Just need a few days to pack some things in, then I will have to tell him. And face those tears, those sad, sad eyes. Oh, the guilt trip he will try and put me on.

Tuf.
 
Old 03-28-2012, 05:07 PM
 
7,532 posts, read 6,245,373 times
Reputation: 6678
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
Only name calling? Being told to F...off, called a F....ing *****....being pushed about, emotional abuse (my dad had a heart attack and was in hospital last year, he didn't come with me to visit, in fact...he ignored me for 3 days), venting at my daughter...telling her she is wrong at everything....telling her that if her parents split up she better run. Being told to shut up constantly, mind games...nice one minute...next nasty.....in the past...hair pulled, stones thrown, slapped, kicked.

Its been tough. Not normal rough and tumble fighting between spouses...NO...this is not love and if it is, you know what? I don't want it.

I stayed too long. Stayed because I didn't want my husband to have part custody, not feed them, and me being away from my children would have been tough. Either way was tough, but now, I CAN go. So I will. Tonight, hubby giving me the sad eye routine. I haven't told him that I am going, he still thinks we are buying a house together...hahaha....bloody hahaha....

When he finds out **** will hit the fan.

But for now, I have the sad eyes, quiet routine. I know his game. He says he has changed, but I just don't believe it. I think he has a screw loose.

I want my life back.

Welcome to my world!

You are not the only one going through this.

Thing is he would have lost everything when u leave. Guys only get every other weekend.

I wish u well on your new life. I'm right behind u in seven years.
 
Old 03-28-2012, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,100 posts, read 56,964,608 times
Reputation: 38301
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
Well, the deposit is down! The paperwork is filled out....all I need now to get the keys to my rented house and my new life is....the references to come in and the Credit search to be done.

Hubby is nice as pie today, so thankful for everything. He really is a deceitful snake!

He still managed to tell us (me and the kids) he didn't give a ****. Because his daughter smiled when he was moaning about something trivial.

I feel and look so tired, I am waking up early in the morning, staying awake late at night. I keep the phone off the hook when he is at home and I have to go out....so people can't ring him and tell him that, in fact, the valuation for our new home (which we were going to buy together) has not been done!!!

One more day to go, then on Friday....should hopefully get the keys. Just need a few days to pack some things in, then I will have to tell him. And face those tears, those sad, sad eyes. Oh, the guilt trip he will try and put me on.

Tuf.

Courage my friend

You know him well, so continue to prepare for what you know he will try to manipulate you with when he realizes he's not going to get his way.

Best of luck, and please keep us posted.
 
Old 03-28-2012, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Girl
428 posts, read 390,574 times
Reputation: 417
Good luck to you and I wish you the stregnth and the courage to start a new life. My only advice on the actual leaving and telling him is to contact your police department and have somebody there to watch as you move your stuff out cause it could get super nasty...
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