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It's tough out there for us depending on where you live and other things. I've found that the amount of AVAILABLE women in the 25-38 age group is not that large were I currently live. I think that's bc most people are attached to someone when you're in that age range. It gets frustrating but that's when I focus on improving my body at the gym. I'm outgoing and I meet people at my gym but it's all about timing and the timing has been so good.
the males that's out there in this age group only want fu*k buddies or FWB, anything where it's as easy for them as possible to 'get some' without having to do much more. they always say they don't want serious relationships or marriage...probably b/c they require too much effort. I seen it over and over again.
That can go for women too. That is because both have been burned in the past. Some divorced. When I was 12 years old, I wanted a relationship.
By the way, you say you are 34 with zero to little baggage - IMO a lack of baggage at 34 IS BAGGAGE ITSELF. It means that you have never formed a close enough relationship with someone else to incur baggage...bit of a warning sign to smart women. But maybe you don't want smart.
I'm going to agree with Doll Eyes, this statement is ridiculous. Some people just haven't had the urge to be in a serious relationship, myself included. Now, as I've matured as a person and had my fun, I'd like to settle down and find someone I can have a successful relationship with. A lot of people don't need relationship experience to have a good relationship. My grandparents only dated each other and they were happily married for 61 years before my grandfather died last year. My aunt and uncle are the same way, 30 years and going strong and they started at 29-30.
Should I be looked down upon because I have no kids, no ex-wife, no emotional issues, no real baggage at all? Aside from not being rich and being a little shy, I think I'm a fantastic catch. I just haven't put myself out there much.
People are too overly critical of each other, nitpicking every single little thing.
I disagree with all of this, I'm 46 divorced at 34 and my dating life has never been hotter.
By the way, you say you are 34 with zero to little baggage - IMO a lack of baggage at 34 IS BAGGAGE ITSELF. It means that you have never formed a close enough relationship with someone else to incur baggage...bit of a warning sign to smart women. But maybe you don't want smart.
At your age, head to the gym. There are 30 something women as far as the eye can see, mostly unhappy with themselves and looking for someone to make them feel special. No gym? Try internet dating, challenge yourself to answer a profile you would normally not answer, lower your standards, open your mind and heart. Never refuse an invitation. Try to go somewhere new at least once a month. Forget about "finding" someone, they have probably been there all along, you just haven't taken any notice of them.
I'm 30 with no major baggage, I have some debt that I'm paying off, but I do not have any real baggage.
To you, that's a problem? I do not understand that at all. I've had close relationships, but planning to have "baggage", which I guess means hang-ups or children or something, wasn't on my mind in my 20s.
Sorry, I have no baggage which allows me to do whatever the hell I want so long as I have enough money for the few bills I have each month. I plan to keep it that way, too.
Age is really just a number. From my experience most men can't tell how old I am at 32. My physical appearance hasn't changed much from 25-32. Recently, men have estimated that I'm 24 at the lowest and 28 at the highest. Who cares? As long as you smile, have personality, take care of yourself, have confidence and ambition, you can have a awesome dating life/ relationship at any age. The things I did in my 20's were learning experiences that have made me a better person. That makes dating and relationship in my 30's awesome. Keep the 40's coming. Don't try to change your age, change your attuide. It works!
Ummmm, as a guy, all I've ever heard is that it only gets easier after 30. The women become more desperate, the clock ticking in their tummy gets louder, and they're only getting fatter and less attractive with age.
If you're a guy living with his parents working a dead end job with credit card debt piling up then yes, I'm sure it's difficult to find a woman. But if you have your ***** together, enjoy your life, stop spilling your guts to any woman that shows interest then you should be able to land a decent woman to share your time with. I won't say 'marry' because I've only heard that as men reach their 30's and higher their desire to tie the not becomes less and less as they get used to their freedom and independence.
The tables are supposed to turn for the man at 30 years old, if they haven't then you need to take a look in the mirror and improve your value.
Last edited by Chi-turtle; 03-27-2012 at 09:58 PM..
I just have to chuckle at the obvious culture differences between where the OP lives (Austin, TX) and where I live (NYC). Apparently, it is still the 1960's in that region of the country and if you aren't married by 30 you are damaged goods.
In NYC, I'd say unmarried people at age 30 is very common. In fact, I don't know many people in their twenties who are married.
Move.
Same for me in Chicago. All my old friends back home (minnesota) are all married and popping out kids. Here in Chicago hardly any of my friends in their mid 30's are no where close to being married.
Ummmm, as a guy, all I've ever heard is that it only gets easier after 30. The women become more desperate, the clock ticking in their tummy gets louder, and they're only getting fatter and less attractive with age.
If you're a guy living with his parents working a dead end job with credit card debt piling up then yes, I'm sure it's difficult to find a woman. But if you have your ***** together, enjoy your life, stop spilling your guts to any woman that shows interest then you should be able to land a decent woman to share your time with. I won't say 'marry' because I've only heard that as men reach their 30's and higher their desire to tie the not becomes less and less as they get used to their freedom and independence.
The tables are supposed to turn for the man at 30 years old, if they haven't then you need to take a look in the mirror and improve your value.
So basically I nee to date desperate women who are getting fat, less attractive and want to pop out kids? Sounds fantastic!!
lol love your underlined statement, your ego must be bursting at the seams and you know so much about me :X
the males that's out there in this age group only want fu*k buddies or FWB, anything where it's as easy for them as possible to 'get some' without having to do much more. they always say they don't want serious relationships or marriage...probably b/c they require too much effort. I seen it over and over again.
That's a fair opinion. But can you answer this question?:
What is the benefit of marriage for a man in his 30's?
- He doesn't have social pressure or any prestige of getting a wedding ring, instead it costs him 10's of thousands of dollars.
- He can reproduce and have children pretty much until the day he dies, he doesn't have an internal window of time to have kids. Why rush it?
- He's lived most of his adult life doing whatever it is he wants, including both living his life and making his own life decisions as well as having fun with any woman he comes across. What is the benefit for him to give that up? What is it that is supposed to overwhelm him to decide to give up sole control over his own destiny to having someone to "consult" with or get "permission" from.
- He stands to lose his home, car, and financial income if things don't go so well and his wife divorces him. Women file for divorce much more often than men, and the court system favors women in divorce court judgments. So why would he want to risk losing that?
This is all coming from a man who wants to get married someday.
However, I'm not so ignorant that I don't see the downside or don't realize that as time passes, each time I put myself out there and get passed over, rejected, or burned I realize that maybe marriage (or the pursuit of) is not so appealing to me anymore.
I've taught myself to stop the urge to think about marriage and chase women for dates, but to focus on things I do have control over in my life and improve my life on my own. I do what makes me happy, and no woman can take that away from me.
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