Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think if the lack of experience is based on values and a desire to wait for a decent and respectful partnership, then no, it would never bother me.
If the reason were "other" such as inability to communicate or be emotionally intimate, then hellz yes, it would.
When I was in college - it didn't matter at all. If I was dating now - it probably would. I think there are a lot of things that you learn by being in relationships. I look at a few people that I know that have never had a relationship lasting more than a couple of months - and there are certain things that they just don't seem to understand. I think once you get past a certain age - it's harder to understand the dynamics of sharing your life with another person. If you are used to living on your own and only answering to yourself - it might be hard to realize that you have to compromise sometimes, make decisions together, keep someone else informed about things, disagree constructively, etc.
Even if they do know what they're doing, it doesn't look like rocket science to figure out. But most of the peoples don't give you a chance though, so it's a lost cause to ever try and figure any of it out!
To be honest - the one person that I am thinking of in particular - it's him who usually doesn't give people a chance. I think that the longer he has been on his own, the pickier and pickier he has gotten. It seems like he is looking for perfection and is unwilling to overlook even the slightest flaws. He also doesn't understand compromising - he has to be right. And if he gets into a fight with someone -basically the relationship is over. Not all people who have very little relationship experience are victims - some of them have done this to themselves.
They didn't ever give me the chance, wrote me off too quick. That's why I made this thread, to find out why people feel this way. Just like many people on here say 'they don't want people w/o experiences especially after a certain age' which puts someone like me in a bit of a catch 22, doesn't it? I heard it over and over again, they wants people with experiences. Well excuse me. I find they are more willing to give you a chance if you threw in the idea of sex fairly early on. No thanks, lol. So I had very little choice but to throw in the towel, IMO.
Are you talking men and woman or just men? I think there is a huge amount of people looking for immediate gratification and if they don't get it they move on.
To be honest - the one person that I am thinking of in particular - it's him who usually doesn't give people a chance. I think that the longer he has been on his own, the pickier and pickier he has gotten. It seems like he is looking for perfection and is unwilling to overlook even the slightest flaws.He also doesn't understand compromising - he has to be right. And if he gets into a fight with someone -basically the relationship is over.Not all people who have very little relationship experience are victims - some of them have done this to themselves.
Well this man you speak of, obviously I don't know him & what his particular issues are but pre teens understand compromise. But this 'victim' mentality you speak of I hear it from other people and don't know why they stick you with that label. I don't consider myself a 'victim' but I do feel like the males didn't give me a chance on more then one occasion and yea that really sucks. I got so tired of it, I simply just gave up and said to hell with them, now I don't bother giving them a chance (not like they're trying anyways)....Some people say what you've said 'unrealistic expectations, looking for perfection,' but what I find to be ironic are these sentiments are coming from THEM. I truly beleive it is what they assume a person with little or no experience/baggage thinks -- when that is not the case, only speaking for myself of course. I never felt any expectations I had were unrealistic any more or less then some of the other women I seen. I also strongly believe in not expecting things from a person that you yourself don't already possess; I swear by that. Now granted a lot of women I seen just picked up on man and sorry but that that wasn't acceptable to me, a person should have standards. But this preconceived notion that "I will never live up to their outrageous expectations" is what causes them to write a person off without ever finding out if that is indeed the case. Side note: Did that man you're talking about ever find someone and how old is he now?
Are you talking men and woman or just men? I think there is a huge amount of people looking for immediate gratification and if they don't get it they move on.
What did you mean when you said 'they know what they are doing?' Know what they're doing when it comes to what, exactly? I am talking about men. I have never tried to have relationship with women b/c I wasn't interested in that too much. One time I try to show a woman interest but found out she was married...to a man. Yes, I agree majority of the male if you're unwilling to give immediate gratification in the sex area they lose interest really quick. They like to 'test' women out first and then see if they are worth all the trouble.
Well this man you speak of, obviously I don't know him & what his particular issues are but pre teens understand compromise. But this 'victim' mentality you speak of I hear it from other people and don't know why they stick you with that label. I don't consider myself a 'victim' but I do feel like the males didn't give me a chance on more then one occasion and yea that really sucks. I got so tired of it, I simply just gave up and said to hell with them, now I don't bother giving them a chance (not like they're trying anyways)....Some people say what you've said 'unrealistic expectations, looking for perfection,' but what I find to be ironic are these sentiments are coming from THEM. I truly beleive it is what they assume a person with little or no experience/baggage thinks -- when that is not the case, only speaking for myself of course. I never felt any expectations I had were unrealistic any more or less then some of the other women I seen. I also strongly believe in not expecting things from a person that you yourself don't already possess; I swear by that. Now granted a lot of women I seen just picked up on man and sorry but that that wasn't acceptable to me, a person should have standards. But this preconceived notion that "I will never live up to their outrageous expectations" is what causes them to write a person off without ever finding out if that is indeed the case. Side note: Did that man you're talking about ever find someone and how old is he now?
He's 40, almost 41. He hasn't found anyone but he is still looking.
I don't have the time or desire to teach a grown man how to date. Sorry!
I never read this thread as a lack of knowledge in dating. I read it as a lack of a track record in serious relationships and/or dating becoming spaced further apart as time passes. It's interesting that the men and the women per the poll view this differently. That spark can happen at any time, even after a long absence from the dating scene, though probably less so. Some people stop dating because the selection has really been thinned out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
